


Keep Your Enemies Closer

by PaintedGhostOrchid



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Office, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Falling In Love, Love Triangles, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-10
Updated: 2014-08-26
Packaged: 2018-02-08 05:52:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 50,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1929144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaintedGhostOrchid/pseuds/PaintedGhostOrchid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bellamy and Clarke are co-workers and bitter rivals who live to compete with one another and can barely be civil- when suddenly they are thrown into an awkward situation when Clarke realizes that her fiance'- Finn- just so happens to be best friends with Bellamy's fiance'- Roma. This means Bellamy and Clarke are forced to play nice with each other around their loved ones- pretending not to despise each other's very presence. But what happens when Roma and Finn start having an affair and Clarke and Bellamy have no choice but to team up to win back their cheating lovers? Along the way they may find that there is more to their relationship than meets the eye, and that enemies can sometimes be the best allies..or possibly much, much more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Clarke Griffin sat in her cubicle, her fingers drumming against her desk nervously as she counted the sales figures in her head. This month she had done $65,000 in sales- which wasn’t awful- but it wasn’t nearly as good as her numbers from this time last year. She sighed and flattened her palms against her desk, dipping her forehead forward like she was ready to bang it into her computer monitor. But she froze at the last moment when she heard the office doors fly open. Her ears perked up and recognized the swift and rhythmic steps of leather shoes against thick berber carpet, and her heart stopped for a millisecond as she immediately straightened up and adjusted her surroundings, moving her arms to conceal the sheet with her sales figures beneath the curve of her elbow.

She had to be ready, the first friday of every month was war in the sales department, and the pretentious cackle of her most formidable enemy could be heard coming down the hallway-only a few feet away.  
She hated him every weekday that she was forced to work in the same office with this king-of all assholes- but she hated him most on the 1st Friday of every month when the sales figures were cast publicly for the whole office to see. She especially hated him when her numbers were this low, and no doubt being trumped by his own.  
She could sense his presence the way a gazelle sensed a wolf stalking it from a distance, her whole body tightening and her senses fine-tuning to prepare themselves for his verbal assault.

Her eyes trained ahead on her screen, suddenly appearing to be completely absorbed in whatever nonsense was scrolling across her monitor. Maybe he will keep walking. Maybe for once he will just pass me by without saying a word..like most other people in this place. Maybe he..

“Well hello, _Clarke_.” His deep baritone voice vibrated down her spinal cord. She exhaled sharply and swiveled her chair to face him, a fake smile plastered across her face.  
He was casually leaning against the side of her cubicle, his arms crossed against his broad chest while sporting a tight black-collared shirt and dark khakis- as always wearing his usual devious grin that made her stomach churn.

“Hello Bellamy. What can I do for you?” She kept her words tight and quick as she balled her hands together in her lap nervously.

His astonishingly dark eyes raked over her, a calculating gaze sweeping over every inch of her form in a way that anyone else would have taken as suggestive-but Clarke knew better. This was his way of sizing her up, he was trying to intimidate her. It was all a competition between the two of them.

“Don’t pretend like you don’t know why I’m here.” He confidently strolled into her cubicle and cocked his head at the picture collage hanging against the right wall. He kept his eyes glued on the photographs, studying them carefully as he spoke. “It’s the first of the month, and I don’t know about you..but I’ve been waiting _all month_ to shares my figures with you.”

She swallowed the lump in her throat, carefully leaning her whole body forward to conceal the sheet on her desk. “Well you can see them at 10 am- when everyone’s results are posted.” She replied.

He turned on a dime and narrowed his eyes at her, his jaw clenching as he stalked forward until he towered over her chair. He lifted his chin and peered down at her from over his nose.

“You are _not_ going to deprive me this month. I refuse to wait another two hours. Show me your figures.. _now_.” His voice was smooth and threatening.

She stood, rising so that her head just reached his shoulders as she stared up at him defiantly.

“Aren’t you getting a little too old for bullying? You don’t scare me Bellamy Blake. Your little act may work on the others, but it doesn’t work on me.”

He furrowed his brows and took a step closer, Clarke could feel the heat emanating from his full lips as his breath coursed over her face…they were only inches apart. His lips curled into a tiny smirk as he watched her jaw drop at his proximity. It seemed like every month he was growing bolder, and less careful with their boundaries.

“Others? You know I don’t care about the others. I only care about _you_ Clarke.”

She raised an eyebrow at him and sighed. “You’re obsessed with me Bellamy. It’s sad, really.”

Bellamy chuckled darkly and lowered his chin, gazing up at her from under his mop of messy black curls, his hair always managing to look so perfectly disheveled. It made her almost jealous how carelessly handsome he managed to look, with his olive tan complexion and his high cheekbones- even the dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks lent him a boyish charm on an otherwise chiseled face. He was terrifying when he wanted to be, and devilishly charming when he needed to be. He always came at her with such a mixture of both worlds that he managed to crawl under her skin, making her want to rip her own hair from her scalp.

“Obsessed with beating you..maybe. Probably.” He laughed, his eyes suddenly catching sight of something over her shoulder. “Definitely..” His eyes widened for a split second, and suddenly he was reaching around her body, his fingers stretching for the paper on her desk.

“Hey! You can’t just..!” Clarke yelped as his strong arms curled around her waist, easily picking her up and swinging her out of the way as his left hand swiped the paper off her desk.

“Ah-hah!”

“Stop! You bastard!” She was kicking and swinging at him furiously, but his arm was still tightly coiled around her middle, the lean muscles in his forearm sinking into her stomach as his eyes scanned the document. The longer he read, the wider his wicked grin spread across his mouth, threatening to break his face in half. She could feel her cheeks filling with blood, the churning in her stomach now lurching into her chest. She knew that look.

“Ha!” He shouted triumphantly, and dropped the paper from his hand, Clarke watched in defeat as it floated back to her desk.

“$65,000? Looks like you lose again Griffin!”

The short blond ripped herself away from his grasp, she adjusted her black pencil skirt and purple blouse, her hands smoothing over her long blonde curls as she tried to maintain her last semblance of pride.

“I hate you.” She spit at him, her venomous words hit him hard for the briefest of moments, and she saw something flash in his eyes before his face eased back into a satisfied smile. He leaned forward, whispering into her ear.

“Not as much as I hate you, Princess. By the way- I did $80,000.”

He pulled away from her slightly, his eyes sweeping over her features to assess the anger and frustration she revealed to him all too clearly, and with one final wink of the eye he turned on his heels and walked out of her cubicle.

Clarke was dazed, staring at a blank spot on the wall as she tried to make peace with the whirlwind of embarrassment and fury that was spinning inside her. Her eyes fell on a particular photograph that stood out in the middle of her collage, mostly of which were photos of she and her fiance’ on vacation. But smack dab in the middle was a specific photo, the very same photo Bellamy had been eyeing carefully only minutes earlier. Clarke dragged herself to her feet and walked forward, gazing at it carefully. It was a picture of Clarke, dressed in a short summer dress and heels, her arm wrapped around her fiance’- Finn. To the left was another couple that looked equally cozy. The brunette-Roma- was in the middle and her hand was resting on Finn’s other shoulder. Roma and Finn were best friends since high school, and to this day she remained the most important girl in Finn’s life, other than Clarke of course. The man on the end was Roma’s fiancé- and Clarke scoffed as his black curls, dark eyes, and carefree smile staring back at her.

Bellamy.

She had to be unlucky enough to fall in love with a man whose best friend was engaged to none other than her arch nemesis himself.

When Clarke started dating Finn, he had told her about Roma and how it was so vital to him that his girlfriend and his best friend get along. When Finn mentioned that Roma had a boyfriend of her own, Clarke was relieved, the only natural jealousy that she felt melted away once she heard that Roma was taken. But in order for this relationship to work, Clarke had to make nice with Roma and her new boyfriend too. Finn refused to get serious with any girl who couldn’t be around his social circles- especially anyone having to do with Roma. Clarke had no idea that Roma’s boyfriend just happened to be the very bane of her existence, and no other man would have been worth her willingly being in the same room as Bellamy, except Finn. Finn was the perfect guy for Clarke-he was intelligent, caring, handsome, and he was the overall picture of Prince Charming that Clarke had always imagined for herself, but never dreamed possible.

She remembered back one year ago, the day Finn took Clarke to meet Roma and her boyfriend for the first time at the local bowling alley. She remembered it like it was yesterday. She had been so excited to finally meet the infamous Roma, yet part of her was almost nervous and expecting to be judged harshly in the eyes of her boyfriend’s female friend. But the moment they turned the corner, the tall Brunette with the soft features and the wide eyes jumped from her chair and bounded towards them, hugging Clarke tightly with the most welcoming smile gracing her face. Clarke felt her tension dissolve immediately under the easy chatter of the friendly girl.

“So wonderful to meet you Clarke, Finn raves about you constantly!” Roma’s eyes were bright and glowing as she spoke. “You are even more gorgeous than Finn said.”

“Thank you!” Clarke smiled back. “So are you.” And she was. Clarke wasn’t expecting her to be so attractive..

“Oh and you have to meet my boyfriend. I just know the two of you will it hit it off perfectly! You two Finn.” She winked at him.

“Well where the heck is this guy?” Finn teased, raking his hand through his long chestnut hair that fell nearly to his shoulders, “I’m beginning to think you made him up.”

Roma shot him a dirty look, “He’s walking here now actually, he just grabbed our bowling shoes. Oh and Clarke, you won’t believe this, but I think you two may know each other.”

“Oh?’ Clarke perked up curiously.

“He works at Terracon Technologies. He sells software like you do!”

“Really?” Clarke racked her brain, trying to think of all the younger guys in her office when suddenly she heard a voice call Roma’s name. It was a deep, rattling voice that shook her very bones- his voice.

“No..” Clarke whispered under her breath. It couldn’t be. It had to be ANYBODY but him. But to her disbelief it was Bellamy who appeared around the corner, striding to Roma’s side as he smiled at her and kissed her sweetly on the cheek. He first noticed Finn and forced a friendly nod in his direction, and then finally his eyes landed on Clarke. Instantly he reflected back her own look of horror and confusion, both their jaws dropping and their eyes wide as they stared at one another in shock. Then their eyes narrowed into slits, like two pit bulls circling each other before a fight.

“So.. you two know each other?” Finn asked, he and Roma both casting glances at one another that looked something like worry.

Bellamy caught their exchange, and so did Clarke. He made the first move, his shoulders visibly relaxing as a (fake) delighted smile tugged on his lips. “Clarke!” He stepped towards her and held out his arms, and Clarke went rigid with disgust as he closed his limbs around her, actually hugging her.

“Hi…Bellamy!?” Clarke painfully winced, and remembered that she needed to pretend to be happy to see him. When he pulled away their eyes were still tense, but their falsely plastered smiles were convincing enough that Roma and Finn looked relieved.

Bellamy cleared his throat, “Clarke here is one of the salespeople in my channel. We actually compete against each other..occasionally.”

Clarke laughed nervously, “Sometimes.” Understatement of the century.

“But,” he interrupted, “She’s also one of my best pals in the office.” He locked eyes on Clarke, and for a fleeting moment he looked almost pleading as he caught her gaze. It was clear that Roma had the same talk with Bellamy that Finn had with Clarke. The message was clear for both of them- if they wanted to date Roma and Finn, they all had to get along. Like one happy family. At least when Roma and Finn were around, that is.

“We..we sure are,” Clarke played along awkwardly. Shit, she had to do better than this. “They even call me his office wife.” She winked at Bellamy and nudged him with her elbow. Bellamy’s lips tightened in response.

“Aw that’s so sweet!” Roma exclaimed joyously, “I’m so glad you two already know each other, especially since now that I’m back in town permanently, Finn and I thought that it would be fun if we made this a weekly get together, every Friday night all four of us!”

Clarke’s heart dropped into her stomach. Bellamy’s eyes widened. Every Friday?

Finn threw an arm around Roma’s shoulders and the two friends leaned into one another. “See Roma? We had nothing to worry about- everyone is going to get along just fine. I mean- these two are already friends! What are the odds of that?!” Finn and Roma smiled at each other warmly, and Bellamy caught Clarke’s gaze. There was a silent exchange between them as they both saw the clear affection that their significant other’s had for one another. Bellamy arched his brow slightly at Clarke in concern, and she shot him a worried glance. Suddenly, with one more glimpse at Roma and Finn, his dark eyes filled with a steely determination, and right then Clarke realized that he was just as desperate to make his relationship work as she was. Clarke felt the planes of her face hardening as she locked eyes with Bellamy and nodded. His lips pulled into the faintest smirk and he nodded back in silent agreement.

For the tiniest fraction of a second they made a pact. They were uneasy allies, agreeing to play the part of perfect friends every Friday when Roma and Finn dragged them to restaurants, movies, dancing, or whatever else they came up with. Then the following Monday they would resume their usual spiteful, hate-filled, competitive relationship that they had already come to know so well. Riddling each other with insults and intimidation, and barely a friendly word between them during the week until Friday came around again.

It stayed like that for a long time, and even when Bellamy later proposed to Roma and Finn proposed to Clarke two days later, the weekly Friday hang outs simply could not be shaken.

Flash forward one year later to present day, when Bellamy was still glowing with satisfaction over his monthly sales figures that he had mercilessly rubbed in Clarke’s face. He was now staring at her from across the board-room during their weekly group sales meeting. Her long blond hair kept falling in her face and she kept pushing it behind her ear with her right hand, which he knew meant she was nervous. Her clear blue eyes purposely soaking in every detail of the room- trying too hard to avoid his gaze. He studied her. He always studied her. He knew all of Clarke’s body movements and exactly what they meant. Despite their complicated personal connections (aka their weirdly-close fiance’s)- Bellamy had to keep a keen watch on the innocent yet fierce little blonde. The two had consistently and ruthlessly battled over the coveted title of top account manager every month for the past year and a half- since they first started working at Terracon Technologies.

The sales manager was giving a speech about account maximization with the newest up selling strategies for software, and Clarke could barely concentrate with Bellamy’s incessant smirk digging into her skin from across the table. He was still messing with her, still gloating over his win. She had expected this though, and she had prepared to ignore him the entire day, pretending like she could care less about his cocky remarks and intimidating stares.

Once the meeting was let out, Clarke headed back to her cubicle to gather her things. It had been a long and sobering day, and she needed desperately to get home and soak in her warm tub with her Epsom salt and her scented candles. She needed to relieve some stress before night fell, because after all it was Friday and she knew that her weekend-freedom feeling was to be painfully short-lived. Her Friday nights were nearly as unnerving sometimes as her weekdays, when she had to pretend to be bosom-buddies with evil incarnate just to stay in good graces with her fiance’s best friend.

She squashed a few things into her purse, including her favorite teas she had stock-piled on her desk during the week, and slipped out of the office miraculously unseen.  
She waited for the elevator nervously, hearing the doors opening behind her she closed her eyes and prayed that it wasn’t him she would be riding down with.

“Princess.” He groaned, his tall frame and messy black curls appearing beside her. She sighed and rolled her eyes. She hated his nickname for her, especially when he used it in front of their coworkers.

Bellamy stood completely silent as the doors opened and they stepped into the elevator car in unison. It was a tall building- They were on the 15th floor- so that meant a long ride down. Even worse, their office always let out later than 5, so they had already missed the foot traffic of business people who usually piled into the elevators. Bellamy and Clarke stood alone in total silence as they practically shoved their shoulders against opposing sides of the elevator, as far away from each other as possible.

Clarke watched the tiny numbers light up in a torturous countdown as they sailed through the floors at a pace that was agonizingly slow.  
After several moments he cleared his throat, and Clarke prepared herself for the endless spew of cruelty.

“Your fiance’ better not pick that lame-ass chinese place again. The last time we went there he spent the whole time reading those stupid horoscope wheel things.”

“And what animal were you again? Weren’t you the cock?”

“No.” He said under his breath. “I was a rabbit, actually.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t a cock? Because I’m pretty sure you fit the bill perfectly for that one.”

He glared at her out of the corner of his eyes. “Haha. Very original. Remind me who beat your sorry ass again this month? Oh right. That was me. My numbers crushed you.”  
Clarke dug her teeth into her bottom lip, but then reminded herself that she had the perfect ammunition to throw at him.

“That’s okay. And which one of us has the Nichelsen account again? Oh right. Still me.”

That did it. Bellamy could barely conceal his fury, his jaw clenching and the veins nearly popping out the sides of his neck. No matter what he threw at her, she could always trample him in the end with the mere mention of the company’s top account that had been awarded to her-instead of him- after their first three months of brutal sales training.

“Ha.” Bellamy scoffed, unbuttoning his top button on his collar and loosening his neckline with his fingers. “Throw that at me all you want- we both know the real reason you won the Nichelsen account.”

It was her turn to roll her eyes. “Not this again.”

“Not what?” He looked her dead on with an accusatory gaze.”Not you walking around the office in your tight little skirts with your chest hanging out for Mr. Nichelsen to drool into? “ He shifted his weight on his hips and batted his eyes to imitate Clarke, puffing up his imaginary breasts.“Oh Mr. Nielsen…” His voice was irritatingly high. “I would love to service your account. I would get on my knees right now and..”

Clarke was mortified, she could feel herself fuming out her ears. She crossed the elevator car and slapped Bellamy squarely across the face before he could finish.

“Hey!” His hand flew to his face. “You hit me?!”

“You’re calling me a whore! Of course I hit you!And you know that none of that ever happened- I never touched that man, I won the account fair and square. You’re just a sore loser because I happen to be better at my job.”

“Please.” He gritted his teeth, still rubbing the redness out of his cheeks.” I’ve seen less cleavage in a strip club.”

“Ugh! Can’t you please just die already?!” Clarke’s fists were clenching into white knuckles at her side.  
Bellamy suddenly fell silent, and all she heard was the soft dings of the elevator numbers permeating the stillness. It was annoying the way the car kept stopping at random floors when no one else was getting on, like it was conspiring against her to keep her locked in this tiny cage with him. Bellamy wasn’t saying a word, and for a second she wondered if she had actually hurt his feelings, still she wouldn’t dare look at him.

Then he chuckled darkly to himself again, but there was no laughter in his eyes. “That would just be too easy on you, wouldn't it?” He finally replied.

“It would certainly help.” She hissed.

As if on cue, they both swiveled to face one another, their stances aggressive as they breached any personal space between them without flinching- they were already too used to this game. “Admit it,” He breathed, his ebony eyes burning fiercely into her blue eyes. “You’d miss me. You know you would.”

She rose her chin and stepped even closer, “Please. I’d miss you about as much as you would miss me. Which I’m guessing is not much.”

He paused, raising an eyebrow at her questioningly. “ Well maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do...Princess.”

His words sent an eerie tingle through her stomach. What the hell did that mean?

“Enough of your mind games Bellamy. You know you don’t give a shit about me.”

The insidious smirk tugged at his lips again. “Maybe I do. Maybe I don’t.” He inched closer still. “Or maybe- deep down some part of me utterly depends on these fucked up little circles we keep spinning around each other. And maybe if you were gone I would realize that I have lost the one thing that fueled me to wake up in the morning and tirelessly push myself to succeed, just so I could see the pathetic look on your pretty little face when you finally realize that I will always, always be better than you.”

Clarke hesitated, and right then he saw the exact flash of doubt in her eyes that he had hoped to see. Her breath hitched in her throat as he leaned in impossibly close, pressing his forehead into hers so all she could see were those dangerously dark eyes ripping through her. He whispered calmly, too calmly- “I win. Again.”

Clarke dug her teeth so hard into her lip she could almost imagine the taste of blood in her mouth. As he pulled away she had to restrain herself from punching that disgustingly smug look off his face; but suddenly his expression shifted when his eyes rested on something just below her neckline. Bellamy grew serious, his brow furrowing in confusion. Without asking permission Bellamy reached his hand out and grabbed her golden pendant necklace that was dangling from her neck, his fingers unconsciously grazing the skin along the top of her chest. She froze. But he didn’t seem concerned with her reaction, his eyes were trained on the tiny gold pendant rolling between his fingers. He acted like it was only natural that he was allowed to get this close to her, seeming completely unphased.

“Clarke.” His deep voice rumbled smoothly in the air. “Does Finn know who gave you this necklace?”

“Excuse me?” Clarke’s eyes widened. The man could give her whiplash with his rapid shifts in direction, his mood changing course so suddenly. “No… why? It’s not important.”

He raised both eyebrows at her. “Why are you still wearing a necklace that was given to you by your ex?”

She stared at him like he had three heads. Why would he care? “Because I..I didn’t feel like buying another...because..wait..why are you asking me this again!?” She winced at her own stutter, hating herself for being so affected.

Bellamy’s eyes narrowed, concentrating a little too deeply on her necklace, like he was trying to uncover something.

“Just curious..” His voice softened, looking her straight in the eye. “Maybe you need to tell lover boy to buy you a new one.”

He laid the pendant back down, gently removing his fingers from her sternum. He turned to face the door as if nothing had happened.

Clarke blinked, mindlessly touching the skin above her chest where his fingertips had brushed against her.

She hated when he did that, when amidst the most heated power struggles, he could just turn on a dime and say something so personal. Almost as if he saw her as an actual human being..which she knew was ridiculous.

It also reminded her that Bellamy and Clarke had known each other longer than either of their relationships. When they were first hired, Bellamy was still single and Clarke was on the edge of her horrific break-up with Ted- her manipulative and cheating boyfriend who she was on-again off-again with for nearly two years.

Her mind wandered back to the second month on her job, Ted had been barging into her work and pleading with her to take him back. Clarke was so embarrassed, she begged him to leave her alone and to stop making her look bad in front of her new co-workers. Most of the employees would stare and whisper rudely when Ted appeared, but no one would come to her defense. Somehow Bellamy had been the one to finally step in. That day Clarke had been only seconds away from bursting into tears as Ted was stalking her desk once again, vehemently claiming he refused to leave until she took him back one last time. Just when she was finally on the verge of a mental breakdown, Bellamy suddenly appeared- stepping between them.

“I think you need to leave the lady alone.” He’d growled.

Clarke’s jaw nearly hit her desk as she watched her enemy sizing up her ex, and she remembered being taken back by Bellamy’s sudden flash of possessiveness that seemed to come out of nowhere. When Ted had refused, Bellamy had practically picked him up by the shirt collar and dragged him out the door, threatening severe bodily harm if he should ever bother her again. That was the last time he ever came to her work, and Clarke had spent the rest of the week being quietly grateful to Bellamy; watching him out of the corner of her eyes and wondering whether or not she should thank him. But he never brought it up again, and neither did she. The next week, they were back at each other's throats as usual.

But that didn’t explain how he knew that the necklace had been given to her by Ted..

She was jolted out of her head by the sound of the metal door opening, and they both stepped out of the elevator.  
The two walked across the building’s lobby wordlessly, taking turns pushing through the rotating door. As their feet hit the sidewalk Bellamy’s stride slowed as he gazed at the ground, opening his mouth to say something and then hesitating. Clarke eyed him suspiciously as he turned and stopped her with a hand on her shoulder, which he pulled away a second later.

“Listen. Roma and Finn are at dinner right now. They want us to meet them after.”

“What?” Clarke blinked, how come Finn hadn’t told her himself?

Bellamy let out a sigh. “Yeah, I know. She just texted me as I was leaving. They’ll be done in an hour and a half.” He paused, avoiding her eyes again. “They want us to come together. I guess parking is tight and too many cars just wouldn’t work.”

Ugh, this night just kept getting better and better. “Why didn’t they just wait for us then?”

Bellamy was growing irritated, shifting his jaw. “I don’t know Clarke. I guess they were hungry. Am I picking you up or not?”

She felt her shoulders sag. “Fine, whatever. I’ll see you at 7:30.”

“Be ready on time. There’s no way in hell I’m being late.”

“Why?” She cocked her head. “Worried they’ll have an affair if we leave them alone too long?”

He glared at her.

“God! You are ridiculous, you know that? Finn would never cheat on to me.”

“Just be ready Clarke.” He held her gaze for a moment longer before turning to stalk away.

“Yes sir!” She shouted after him, watching as he disappeared around the corner towards parking lot B.

She felt a flicker of worry as she walked to her own car in parking lot C, wondering if there was any validity to Bellamy’s paranoia. Roma and Finn had been making it a habit lately to spend more time together on the side, with only themselves. Clarke told herself he just needed his space to be with his own friends, and she couldn’t expect him to always have her around, could she?

She shook her head and pushed the thoughts from her mind, telling herself she was just letting Bellamy get under her skin again. Clarke and Finn were madly in love- and so were Roma and Bellamy, not to mention that Roma and Finn were basically like brother and sister. Completely platonic. It would never, ever happen. Right?  
.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! So this is my first ever fan fiction by the way..and I couldn't be more grateful for your wonderful comments and Kudos! I hope you enjoy this next chapter- not all the chapters will be quite as lengthy as the first, but this one is fairly long.
> 
> Please leave me comments if you want me to keep adding more :) I'll try and keep updating chapters as quickly as possible too! 
> 
> Oh and I just have to throw this out there- Clarke and Bellamy's characters and dynamic have so inspired me to start writing again, and it's refreshing to have a whole community of people who love these characters and the show as much as I do!

Clarke felt the tension draining from her muscles as she settled into her tub, the lavender aromatherapy bubble-bath working wonders on her nerves. The scented candles flickered in the dimly lit bathroom, lapsing her mind into a beautifully soothing and languid state. This was just one of the many ways she prepared herself for her Friday nights, especially since she was now being forced to carpool with Bellamy. She closed her eyes and melted a little deeper into the mountains of bubbles, feeling the warmth pulling her under as her breathing began to steady..

Suddenly a loud knocking beat against the door of her apartment.

Her eyes flew open. “What the…?” 

There was no way, It wasn’t even 7pm yet! She stretched her neck to listen again, and this time there was nothing but silence. She let out a sigh of relief, realizing she must have overheard somebody knocking on her neighbor's door. “Thank God.” She whispered to herself and eased back into the water.

“CLARKE!!”

No..no..no...

“CLARKE!! OPEN UP! NOW!” Bellamy’s voice violated her ears like nails on a chalkboard, followed by more rapping on the door.

“Go AWAY!! You’re early!” She screamed, already feeling the tension rushing back into shoulders.

There was a pause, and for a brief second she thought she may have scared him away.

“Open this door or I will break it down!” He roared. 

Clarke stifled a scream and lurched herself out of the water. She wandered across her living room cursing under her breath and wrapping her body in a cream colored towel that barely covered her enough to be decent- but was unfortunately the biggest one she had.

She yanked the door open with force and shouted “What the hell Bellamy!? It’s not even 7pm!”

Bellamy stood in her hallway wearing a brown leather jacket over a tight black tee-shirt and jeans. He seemed preoccupied, acting completely blind to Clarke’s frenzied expression, or the fact that she was standing there dripping wet in nothing but a towel-her blonde curls tossed into a messy bun pinned to the top of her head. He barged passed her without saying a word and began pacing back and forth in her kitchen, his knuckles pressed to his lips and his eyes glazed over in pensive thought. What was he doing?

“How rude of me!? Please come right in!” She snapped sarcastically, slamming the door shut behind him. She couldn’t believe he was so uncouth, he had absolutely no boundaries. 

She stood there holding her towel together, staring at him in disbelief. “Hey!”

He stopped and looked at her, still oblivious. “What?”

“You’re kidding me? How about you tell me what the hell you’re doing in my apartment 40 min early? I was a little busy, as you can see..” She motioned to herself.

Finally Bellamy woke out of his little daydream, his eyes falling to her towel and then to the puddle of water pooling beneath her feet. He froze, she could swear she saw a tiny flush of color in his cheeks, but she probably just imagined it. 

“Uhhh. Shit- sorry.”

“You’re not forgiven. Now what is this all about? Why are you burning a hole in my kitchen floor?”

“Right.” Bellamy peeled off his jacket and threw it on her sofa, raking his hand through his messy black curls in contemplation. Clarke accidentally noticed the way his taut muscles shifted under his t-shirt when he moved, she cleared her throat and looked away.

Bellamy sighed. “This couldn’t wait Clarke. I need to ask you something, it was driving me insane and I couldn’t wait any longer.”

Clarke was shocked at how unhinged he looked, it wasn’t like him.

“What’s going on?”

Bellamy looked her in the eye. “Were you with Finn last night?”

She blinked, “Yes...why?”

His shoulders relaxed a little, but his mouth still pressed into a hard line. “Were you next to him the whole time? What did you guys do?”

“We watched re-runs on Netflix! What is this, an interrogation?”

He ignored her question. “At any point, did he take a phone call from someone?”

Clarke stopped, suddenly remembering that Finn had in fact left her living room at one point to go speak to his mother in the hallway- he had been gone for at least 20 minutes. But how would Bellamy know that?

“Actually yes.”

Bellamy’s eyes widened. “Who did he talk to?”

“His mother!” Clarke snapped again. “What the hell Bell..”

“Did you hear his mother’s voice? Are you sure it was his mother? What time was it?”

Clarke paused again. “Well no..he went in the hallway. He said his mom was depressed about her sister being sick and he needed to talk to her. I think it was 10 o’clock or something, I remember because we had just started our third episode of Parks and Rec.”

Bellamy’s face hardened, he straightened his back. “Clarke, it wasn’t your mom. It was Roma.”

“What?” She gasped. “How would you even know that?”

“Because I passed out early on the couch and woke up at 10 to go to the bathroom. That’s when I overheard her whispering to somebody in her room- and she sounded so strange, it’s not like her to be so secretive..so I listened through the door.”

Clarke’s stomach was faintly nauseous. “And?”

He rubbed his hands over his eyes in exhaustion. “And I heard her saying Finn’s name. And giggling and being all-I don’t know-flirtatious or..seductive even? Then when I came into the room she nearly jumped out of her skin. Then she tried to play it off, saying she was talking to her cousin in California.”

Clarke knew this all had to be a mistake. “Maybe it really was her cousin? Maybe you’re being a little paranoid Bellamy..”

“I checked her phone.” He interrupted, his face dead serious. “When she was sleeping I checked her phone, and whatever number she had called had been deleted. There was no call in her log for anything past 7pm. The fact that Finn mysteriously took a call the exact same time, and had to walk away from you when he did it..” He sucked in a deep breath. “Clarke- she and Finn lied to us.”

Clarke swallowed hard at the lump forming in her throat. “Are..are you sure? I mean why would they lie to us about talking to each other? They’re texting each other all the time!”

“I know.” He grunted, “Trust me I know.” He stepped closer to Clarke, his eyes wide with anxiety. “Don’t you think it’s a little suspicious that they decided to lie this time? I mean..should we be worried here Clarke?”

Clarke’s mind was racing. Was this real? Was she being sucked into Bellamy’s games again? The look in his eyes told her that not even he was this good at fooling her, which means he honestly thought that there was something going on.

“Are you messing with me again Bellamy? Why did you wait until now to tell me? You could have said something at the office!”

He shook his head. “I know. I know. It’s just..” And for one rare and fleeting moment Bellamy was vulnerable, his eyes were fraught with worry and he couldn’t stop fidgeting. It was almost like he was somebody else entirely. “I wanted to pretend like it didn’t happen. I didn’t want to admit to myself that Roma might be..” he sighed. “I don’t know. I don’t know what she’s doing but, it’s eating away at me.” 

He visibly deflated, leaning back against the kitchen counter.

Clarke felt her chest tightening. As much as she wanted to tell him that he was insane, she had a gut feeling that he might actually be onto something. If they were lying to them about something as simple as talking on the phone at night, if Bellamy had really heard her acting that way on the phone- But no- her heart just wasn’t willing to accept that logic.

“Maybe it’s nothing.” She tilted her chin up. “ Actually I’m sure it’s nothing. That just wouldn’t happen, they don’t cheat on us Bellamy.”

“Clarke..”

“No Bellamy. You always think the worst of people. You know Roma, and you know that she loves you. And I know Finn loves me! I mean, we’re marrying them for godsakes! And what? We’re checking each other’s cell phones like were still in high school?! And I’m standing here in a friggin towel while you’re pacing in my kitchen! We are not sinking this low Bellamy. I refuse to believe that this is anything more than a silly misunderstanding.”

Something strange happened then. She watched as the courage came back to Bellamy’s dark eyes as he slowly pushed himself off the counter. His jaw hardened with resolve as he opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again, finally shaking his head and dropping his gaze.

“Maybe.. maybe you’re right Clarke.”

Whoa. That’s not what she expected.

She puffed up her chest. “I know I’m right, and I’m positive we have absolutely nothing to worry about.” 

She had to admit it was somewhat sobering to see him like this, especially knowing that it was all in the name of love. As huge of an ass that Bellamy was to Clarke..and most other people- but especially Clarke.. Bellamy was madly in love with Roma and there was no denying that. It nearly humanized him- but not quite.

Bellamy’s eyes suddenly lifted from the floor and he carefully examined the girl in front of him, as if only just now seeing her. He noticed the way the beads of water trailed down Clarke’s neck and arms, and the tiny rivers of dew that fell down her cleavage, which was likely more exposed than she realized at this point.

He arched his eyebrow at her, and Clarke was horrified to see that familiar smirk tugging across his lips.

“What?” She asked, her skin suddenly feeling a little too warm.

In the next second his gaze was no longer on her face, and Clarke followed his eyes down to see that her towel had loosened, having dropped dangerously low on her cleavage. Mortified, she tugged the edges of the towel back up.

Bellamy cleared his throat.“Glad to see you’re not wearing…”he paused, “..the necklace.”

She groaned. “I’m not wearing anything you idiot.”

“I can see that.”

“It’s your fault, I was in the middle of a bath when you came barging in here.”

He nodded slowly as his smirk faded from his lips, and then suddenly Bellamy was walking closer. A startled gasp escaped Clarke’s chest as he came near enough to tower over her and then started backing her half-naked body against the counter. She tightened her grip on her towel while he reached his hand up and ran his fingers through her damp blonde curls, studying the way they fell in lopsided waves around her crown.

“What are you..” Her words trailed off as her throat went dry, every muscle in her body going rigid.

He pulled his arm away and stared into her eyes.

“Princess.. I think you should know something.”

She let out a shaky breath.“Wh-what?”

The smirk crept back over his lips.

“You have bubbles in your hair.”

Clarke then proceeded to stomp on Bellamy’s foot and storm away, drowning out the sound of his pained laughter with a slam of her bedroom door.

 

The car ride over was uneventful at best. The bar they were meeting them at for after-dinner drinks was about 15 minutes away, and the entire time Bellamy and Clarke sat in a cold silence that was only broken by the occasional bickering over the music or Clarke yelling at Bellamy to put out his cigarette.

“This is my car. When were in your car, then you can make the rules.” He griped.

She made a face. “Ew. You are never getting in my car. Especially not if I’ve just had it cleaned.”

“What!?” Bellamy gaped at her.“You let Finn in your car after he was living in a tent with cockroaches all over the place- and you know he’s covered with all kinds of shit from that too.”

Bellamy was referring to Finn’s volunteerism in underdeveloped countries. Over the summer he had studied abroad as part of an internship with his medical school to help administer vaccines to villages overseas. It was hardly what she would call being “covered in shit.”

“Excuse me? Giving your time to help others who are less privileged than you is a very admirable thing. Finn is a good person.”

Bellamy scoffed. “Privileged? I grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in Cleveland with parents who didn’t give a crap about my sister and I- hardly what I’d call privileged. We can’t all be from a perfect family in Long Island like you are, Princess.”

She started to roll her eyes and then stopped. ‘Wait- is that why you gave me that nickname?”

Bellamy stared straight ahead. “No...well maybe that’s part of it.”

“What’s the other part?”

His mouth tightened. “We’re done talking about this.”

Clarke was too tired to argue, so she sighed and leaned her head against the window, watching the trees and the streetlights blur past her. At that moment something crept up into her brain, a nagging memory she had suppressed that suddenly seemed to have more significance than before.

“Bellamy.”

“Yeah?” He took another puff from his cigarette and kept his eyes on the road.

Her voice was weary as she lifted her head off the window. “Last Sunday night, were you with Roma?”

Bellamy creased his brow and glanced over at her. “We had plans to go see a movie, but she cancelled. She said she had bad cramps and her sister was stopping over. I can’t stand her sister.”

Clarke could feel her fingers curling into her palms. “Was it around 8 when she cancelled?”

He slowly pulled the cigarette away from his mouth. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t need to. Clarke didn’t want to hear his answer either, because they both already knew too well what it was. All he had to do was look at her. Her nails were digging violently into her skin now.

“Pull the car over.”

“What!?” His eyes widened.

“Pull the car over, RIGHT NOW BELLAMY!” It was a growl so fierce that he immediately gripped the wheel and veered the car off into the shoulder, coming to a stop several seconds later.

She pulled out her phone and started to press the buttons while cursing under breath.

“Wait.” Bellamy laid his hand over hers, stopping her from dialing. “Tell me.” He said, looking her evenly in the eyes.

She held his gaze unwavering. “I made dinner for Finn last Sunday night-his favorite lasagna. Around 8 o’clock he started acting all weird and distracted, and then he told me he got a call from an old college friend who was drunk and needed a ride home from the bar, a place that just so happened to be across town- so Finn was gone for hours. The same time Roma cancelled on you.”

Both Bellamy and Clarke sat in silence as the traffic whizzed past the car, their chests heaving and their faces turning to stone. Clarke’s nails were now dragging across the exposed skin above her knee, threatening to shred the bottom of her skirt into pieces. She picked up her phone again and started to dial.

Bellamy looked over to her. “What are you doing with the phone?”

“I’m calling to tell them we’re running 30 minutes late.”

Confusion flashed across his face. “Why?”

“Because were going to get there before they expect us. We’re going to spy on them.”

The two of them were eerily calm as they nodded in agreement.

It was a tropical-themed bar, and Clarke was grateful for the cheesy palm trees and heavy foliage they could hide behind. They had circled the parking lot until they spotted Finn’s car- a blue Prius that Bellamy consistently made fun of, and when he saw it he narrowed his eyes. “I hate that car.”

They knew they were already inside, so Bellamy parked his Jeep on the other side of the parking lot just to be safe. They had ignored the hostess and slid along the walls covertly like ninjas, completely ignoring the strange looks they were getting from the other patrons.

Bellamy clasped a hand over Clarke’s shoulder and pulled her beside him. “I found them.”

“You did?” He nodded in reply. Clarke sucked in a deep breath and turned to him. “We can do this right? Whatever we see, we can handle it.”

Bellamy’s eyes searched hers before clearing his throat, his features hardening into a mask. “We can do this.”

They were concealed behind several palm trees and gaudy tropical plants that formed a wall of greenery with just enough of a separation between the leaves to get a good view of the bar, where Roma and Finn were seated very close to one another. Clarke and Bellamy stood shoulder to shoulder watching, Clarke steadied herself with a hand on the trunk of a palm tree that stood in front of them. Bellamy rested his hand on that same tree right beside hers, and she knew it was because they both needed something sturdy to grab onto just in case.

Roma was in a short red dress and her hair was styled down into a neat bob that came to her shoulders. Finn was in a blue sweater and khakis, and the way they leaned into one another- they looked like a couple.

Clarke told herself it still could mean nothing. Bellamy’s eyes shot daggers at them.

Finn reached up and rubbed the back of Roma’s neck affectionately. Clarke’s hand grabbed the tree a little tighter.

Roma leaned in and grazed her hand up Finn’s thigh as he whispered something in her ear. Bellamy’s hand slid on top of Clarke’s, crushing her palm down into the rough surface of the trunk. It was good, she needed the pain.

Finn and Roma leaned in even closer, and with a cautionary glance around the room, Finn pulled her into him and laid his lips on hers. They were kissing.

Roma and Finn. Kissing.

Clarke felt as if all the air had been sucked out of the room, and Bellamy’s hand was tremoring as his fingers weaved between hers and they both dug their nails viciously into the tree.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for those of you that are sticking with me! This chapter was tough to write- there's a lot of emotion here so bear with me, especially when Clarke and Bellamy's relationship is still so complicated. As always I love your comments, let me know if you want me to keep adding chapters!  
> ALSO- IF YOU WANT ME TO KEEP POSTING CHAPTERS- PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS!! :)

Something very strange happens when you go into shock. It's like your mind disconnects from your body- and all the sights, sounds, tastes, and feelings dissipate as you stare into the white emptiness behind your eyes, drifting into some state that balances between consciousness and delusion.

That was the best way for Clarke to describe the very surreal moment when her and Bellamy stood helplessly as they watched the two people they loved and trusted most engaging in full-on lip-locking less than 15 feet from where they hid behind restaurant-grade palm trees.

Bellamy was a statue beside her, his eyes glazed over and black as night as he stared through the leaves. Clarke didn't notice it though, she was too busy concentrating on the lies and deceit unfolding before her. Bellamy made a low rumbling noise that sounded like a growl, he balled up his fist and bashed it into his forehead, his breath coming out in short erratic bursts of fury. Suddenly he spun around and started bounding towards the front door, only turning back at the last second to realize that Clarke was still standing frozen- her eyes distant and unblinking.

The next thing Clarke knew she was being yanked by her wrist and towed behind Bellamy as he pulled her back through the entrance and around the corner of the building. They ended up in a back alley near the bar, precisely two buildings over between an old printing shop and a deli. Both buildings were closed and the alley was shrouded in darkness- minus a single streetlight that illuminated the alleyway and the dumpsters from above.

"I am going to kill that asshole! You hear me Clarke!? He's dead! He's DEAD!" He grabbed at a trash can beside the dumpster and threw it across the alley, a barrage of glass bottles and cans exploding against the brick wall.

Clarke stood silently with her mouth hung open, her mind still playing that kiss in her head..Finn's eyes on Roma..his lips on hers..

She jumped slightly at the sound of another trashcan being tossed threw the air and Bellamy punching the sides of the dumpster, his knuckle bones crunching against the metal as he cursed Finn's name over and over.

"I can't believe this..if he's touched her....so help me if he touches her again I'm going to....DAMMIT!!" Bellamy's face was twisted in rage as he continued to scream obscenities and throw anything he could get his hands on.

Clarke nearly expected him to throw her as well when he clamped his hands on her shoulders and shook her. "What the hell is wrong with you!? Say something Clarke! You just saw your fiance' making out with another woman and you're just standing here! CLARKE!"

Clarke's dazed blue eyes finally found Bellamy's, meeting his frantic gaze. It was then that the weight of her feelings finally started to sink in, the pain washing over her like a tidal wave and pulling her under. Her heart was beating a million miles an hour, the oxygen froze in her chest and suddenly she couldn't breathe. She couldn't think and she couldn't breathe. The bones in her legs turned to jello as her legs buckled and she slipped out of Bellamy's grasp and slumped down onto her knees with a thud.

"Clarke!?" Bellamy's voice was far away, which didn't make sense because he was kneeling in front of her now, his fingers gripping her chin and pulling her head up to face him. She was hyperventilating.

"Bell..Bell..Bellamy.." She breathed out, her words fighting through the suffocation. Bellamy's eyes searched hers, his expression quickly shifting to worry.

"Shit Clarke, is this some kind of panic attack?"

She nodded, and then a knowing look spread across Bellamy's dark features. He carefully laid both hands on either side of her face and instructed her to breathe. Clarke shook her head, fighting back.

"Breathe Clarke! Concentrate on my voice." In that second Bellamy's low-octave voice was soothing, so different from only several seconds ago when he was playing shot-put with the trash cans. Her lungs were softening again and amazingly she could feel her chest heaving in rolling hills now instead of jagged peaks.

"Listen to my words. That's it." She was being slowly lured out of her anxiety and the world was beginning to stand still, and there was only Bellamy's eyes and his voice leading her out of the darkness. "You got it. You're okay Clarke..you're okay." When Clarke finally regained control of her senses, she nodded to Bellamy and they both collapsed onto the concrete ground. He shifted so they sat beside one another now with their backs against the brick wall, panting.

"Thanks.." She whispered.

"It's nothing." He breathed out. "My sister used to get them all the time." His voice was quieter, like the rage had been swept out of him.

She sighed as they both leaned their heads back against the cold brick. "What are we going to do now?" She asked.

"I'm going to murder your fiance'."

"No." She shook her blonde curls as they fell wildly around her shoulders. "I won't let you."

"Have fun trying to stop me Princess." He huffed and gave her a look. "That kiss didn't look like the first time, did it?"

"No. It didn't"

He groaned. "The only reason I'm not in there right now beating the shit out of him is because I wouldn't be able to stop myself, and I refuse to go to jail for that idiot."

"Good thinking. And I still wouldn't let you."

He turned towards her. "Why are you defending him again? He's cheating on you!"

"And Roma's cheating on you just as much Bellamy. Don't forget that!"

His eyes narrowed at her, "She's just confused, Finn probably just charmed her into doing all this, Roma has never been a cheater!"

"Neither is Finn!" Clarke snapped, irritated that he would blame this all on Finn and ignore his own fiance's transgressions. "Ugh, just give me a frickin' cigarette Bellamy."

He sighed and reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack, producing two cigarettes. He let her lean into him as he cupped his hands around the lighter, breaking it from the wind. When both their cigarettes were burning they slumped back, once again falling silent as they stared off into the night. Clarke felt broken, like everything in her world had been flipped on it's head. Her own Prince Charming was one block over with his arms around another girl, and here she was smoking a cigarette in a dark alley and drowning her sorrows with Bellamy Blake, the man she despised most. Nothing made sense, and her mind was frantically searching for a way to piece it all together...when suddenly her eyes lit up like a light bulb.

"Bellamy, I just thought of something."

"Yeah?"

She turned to face him, "Neither of them have broken off our engagements, right? If they were really serious about each other wouldn't they have told us? I'm thinking that they may actually BOTH be confused here. Maybe they are just exploring their feelings for one another before they take the dive with you and I, like getting their last kicks in?"

Bellamy looked only more furious. "And how the hell does that help our situation?"

"Because there's a good chance they still love us then. Now if we go in there and scream and fight and tell them we know all about it, we're likely just going to lose them and drive them right into each other's arms even more. But...now hear me out here...but if we pretend like everything is normal they may just be able to get this out of their systems- and in the mean time we become the perfect partners and remind them why they loved us in the first place. Then they will willfully choose us on their own, and not because they got caught cheating."

Bellamy's eyes were wide with disbelief, in that second he truly wondered if she was losing her mind. "Are you insane? No seriously, because you'd have to be insane to think that you and I can just pretend like everything is just peachy, while those two are probably banging each other's brains out!"

Clarke winced, "Don't say that, we have no proof that they've ever had sex."

He huffed, "We have no proof that they haven't, either."

"Bellamy are you giving up then? Do you want to lose Roma and just end it all here tonight?"

He was quiet, his gaze dropped to the ground as he clenched his jaw. "No. And I certainly don't want lose her to that pretentious asshole. I refuse to let that prick win."

Clarke would normally take offense to his jabs at Finn, but right now they were a little refreshing. "Good, and I don't want to lose Finn to Roma- who by the way was only two seconds away from me walking over there and punching her in the face and tearing her hair out." Clarke's hands balled into fists.

"Watch it." Bellamy growled, "You're not hurting her."

"Honestly Bellamy if either of us go off on them, or if we forbid them from seeing each other, we'll just lose them forever. I think we both know that."

"You might be right." His chest deflated and he looked back up at her, and she was relieved to see the tiniest bit of resentment coming back to his eyes. "I really hate it when you're right."

Clarke's mouth twitched into a sad smile, even when the world was crumbling around them- they still always had their mutual hate for each other. Somehow that consistency was oddly comforting. "Ok." Clarke sucked in a deep breath. "Then it's time we start working on a plan."

Bellamy and Clarke then entered into their second alliance. The plan was simple- they had to pretend that they were clueless about the affair and do everything they could to become the best lovers and partners that Roma and Finn could ever want. Then they could only hope that their little romantic tryst would fizzle out on it's own, and Clarke and Bellamy would know they had truly won the hearts of the ones they loved all over again. It wasn't going to be easy, in fact it was likely going to be excruciatingly painful, but if there's one thing Bellamy and Clarke didn't run from-it was a challenge. This was now their most important competition yet.

 

"Finn has texted me twice wondering where we are."

Bellamy snorted, "Oh now he cares? Nice. I'm sure he's really worried.."

"Shut up, this is a good sign because it means they're still thinking about us, remember? I really don't need you being an asshole right now."

"I'm allowed to be an asshole right now, my fiance's fucking cheating on me."

"What's your excuse the rest of the time?" She grumbled under her breath, and Bellamy glared at her. The two of them were walking through the lobby of the bar once again, fidgeting nervously beside each other and trying to mentally prepare themselves for putting on the biggest show of their lives. Clarke knew it would be a miracle if they could even pull this off, and part of her was seriously worried that Bellamy would snap and blow their cover-thus ruining everything. As they walked past the plants they had hid behind, Clarke swallowed the lump in her throat and spotted the traitorous couple sitting up ahead, now seated in a booth- sitting right beside each other nonetheless.

"Oh how cute." Bellamy snarled, and Clarke punched him in the rib cage.

"Don't blow this. Now smile and stay strong and we can sell this, you and I are not the top sales people in our company for nothing."

Bellamy smirked, "Nice pep-talk Princess." His eyes focused in like a lazer on the couple as they walked even closer, when suddenly he had an idea- something he was surprised he hadn't thought of before. "Put your arm around me Clarke."

"What?"

He rolled his eyes, "Come on, don't you think we should try and make them jealous too? Give them a small taste of their own medicine? Maybe they'll cut this shit out if they see you and I getting.. friendly."

"No!" She shouted a little too loudly. "That's not part of the plan, we have to stick to the plan!"

"Fine."

But just as Roma and Finn were finally catching sight of them, Bellamy made his move. He reached his arm around Clarke's waist and yanked her flush against his side, grinning as Clarke let out a tiny yelp beside him. Bellamy leaned into her ear and whispered, "Like it or not, we're going to play this my way too, Princess. And my plan is- we're gonna make them jealous."

Clarke could barely contain the rage inside her, and she probably would have slapped him if she hadn't been the slightest bit distracted by the feeling of his thumb grazing over the thin fabric on her waist. The way the blood rushed to her cheeks was exactly what Bellamy was hoping for when they both turned to greet their fiance's-whose eyes were wide as they took in the scene before them.

"Uhh..Hi Clarke, Bellamy- what took you guys so long?" Finn asked.

Bellamy pushed the fury deep inside him as he channeled all his energy now into playing this little game, a game he was determined to win.

"I'm sorry guys, you know Clarke- always running late as usual. Women right?" Bellamy let out a laugh as they scooted into the booth to sit across from them. "I mean, I had to sit in her living room for nearly an hour while she ran around dripping wet in nothing but a towel- imagine that?!" He looked down and winked at Clarke. "Not that I'm complaining, though."

Clarke was horrified, what the hell was he doing? "Uhh Bellamy, I'm sure they don't want to hear that- besides I only had the towel on for a minute or.."

"Clarke, don't be shy!" He cut her off with a cheesy smile, "It just shows how great of friends we are, doesn't it? After all, we're ALL just such great friends here- Completely innocent, _right_?" His accusing eyes jumped between Finn and Roma, and the two exchanged uncomfortable glances before nodding.

Roma recovered quickly, "That's right honey, I'm so..I'm so glad you and Clarke have gotten so close. Isn't that wonderful Finn?"

Finn cleared his throat and forced a smile, "Yeah, It's exactly what we were hoping for- for all of us to be close with one another, just like Roma and I have always been."

Bellamy snorted, "Right.. who's hungry? I'm starved."

They all picked up the menus as Clarke forcefully kicked Bellamy under the table. Bellamy and Clarke hunched behind the menu to hide their faces as they glared at one another. "What the hell is wrong with you?" She whispered, thankful that the bar was loud enough to drown them out.

Bellamy kept his voice low. "You're not the only one who makes the rules here Clarke, and there's no reason why we can't do BOTH of our plans."

"That will never work, you will not ruin this for me!" She hissed.

"I'm not ruining anything Princess, besides.." he leaned into her as his warm breath pulsed on her cheek. "I won't take this jealousy thing too far..unless I need to." He winked and pulled away. She hid her scowl as they dropped the menu and beamed brightly at the couple across from them.

"Well that's settled, I'm getting the house burger and whiskey on the rocks." Bellamy smiled sweetly at Roma, "What are you getting honey?"

"Bellamy, sweetie, you know I'm on a strict diet to lose my belly fat, so I'm just getting the walnut-chicken salad. After all- I need to look good for my _sexy_ man over here." She reached over and placed her hand on Bellamy's, and Clarke almost felt sorry for the hint of sadness that flashed in Bellamy's eyes. Even though he was being an ass, it was clear that this was really hurting him.

"Your stomach is perfect.." He whispered under his breath, his eyes dropping down to their hands.

Clarke noticed the way Finn's face tensed as he watched the two, and it felt like a knife was being driven through her heart to see him having jealousy for anyone but her. Clarke wondered if he even still cared about her, and maybe this was all just useless...

That's when she stopped and pondered something- maybe she could still test him? Maybe she just needed to show him that _two_ could play at this game.. Just then she gathered her courage and crossed her legs towards Bellamy, leaning into him and flipping her long blonde hair flirtatiously.

"Bellamy?" Her fingers gripped his bicep. "Do you think you could stay late after work one night this week? I really need some one to help me with my presentation for the Health Services accounts. Since you always look _so good_ giving your presentations, I was wondering if you could teach me a few pointers? I'll even order us take-out from that Thai place I know you like." She threw in a wink for an added touch.

Bellamy's eyes widened, and then a realization spread across his face as he quickly understood that she was finally playing along. Clarke batted her eyes at him and suggestively bit her lip, and his eyes darkened again as the the corners of his mouth pulled into a faint smirk.

"I would love _nothing_ more than to stay late with you Princess."

"Princess?" Finn chimed in, bouncing a weary look between them.

Bellamy laughed, "Oh sorry. You two probably haven't heard my nickname for Clarke before, I usually only use it at work, I have been ever since we started there."

"Oh?" Said Roma. Clarke was satisfied to see a frown forming on Finn's face, and it gave her a sudden boost of hope, that maybe he still cared for her after all. And maybe Bellamy's plan wasn't such a bad idea either..

"Why Princess? " Roma asked, looking very curious.

"It's stupid really." Clarke rolled her eyes. "It's because he thinks I come from a wealthy family or whatever.."

"You DO come from a wealthy family," Bellamy pointed out. "But that's not why I call you that."

Clarke cocked her head, "It isn't?"

Bellamy hesitated, smiling more sincerely this time, the crinkling around his eyes making him look more handsome than ever. "My mom and dad weren't really around all that much growing up, so I used to read to my little sister Octavia to help her fall asleep at night. Her favorite story was Rapunzel, the princess trapped in the tower with the long, blonde hair. Octavia wanted to be just like her, she thought she was brave." His gaze was more intense now as it swept over Clarke's face, and she found herself wondering if this was all still a part of the act. "When I first saw you on our orientation day, all I could think about was how you looked just like the princess from Octavia's stories. So I don't know...I've just always wanted to call you Princess ever since, I guess." He paused before leaning in and adding more softly, "I think it suits you pretty well."

Bellamy and Clarke's eyes stayed locked on one another, and she felt for a moment like they were the only two people in the room. She raised her eyebrow at him as if to ask if that story was real, but he turned away quickly before she could read his expression.

"Wow, yeah..I can kind of see the resemblance." Roma cleared her throat and tried painfully to maintain a smile on her face, while Finn's eyes were boring holes into Bellamy. It was clear that both of them were getting a little worried.

Moments later the waitress was there for their orders, and then they all chatted as casually as possible until their food and drinks arrived. The underlying current of tension between all parties never went away, but everyone noticeably relaxed a little once they got some alcohol in their systems. Finn still cast occasional glares in Bellamy's direction, and Clarke decided to scoot back to her original position a few inches away from him- his story about her nickname still turning over in her head every time she looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. Finally once they were wrapping up their meals, Finn made an announcement.

"Clarke, sweetheart? Roma and I wanted to tell you guys something."

Bellamy and Clarke froze in their seats.

"Roma and I were invited to a wedding of an old high school friend of ours, Dana Holbrook. We were all good friends ever since freshman year, and her wedding is next weekend..in Chicago."

"Chicago?" Clarke said, glancing at Bellamy. "Well that's great, I love Chicago! I've actually been thinking that it would be nice to get away for awhile, especially since work's been so hectic."

Finn hesitated, "I'm sorry baby, but they actually don't have a lot of money and it's a very small wedding, so only Roma and I are invited. We're not allowed to bring dates, I'm really sorry you guys, I hope you don't mind? And Clarke, I promise we will celebrate your birthday as soon as I get back on Sunday night."

Bellamy's hand found it's way to Clarke's knee under the table, his strong fingers latching onto her skin with enough force to make Clarke jump. Clearly he was holding onto her to keep himself from punching Finn in the face, and Clarke responded by digging her fingers into the back of Bellamy's hand- reminding him to keep his game face on. Although she had to admit, this was too much..and the idea of her fiance' staying somewhere overnight with Roma was threatening to make her lapse back into a full-on panic attack again. The thought of her spending her birthday alone, and depressed over her cheating boyfriend, was also making her stomach churn and her heart drop in her chest. She took a deep breath and plastered a smile onto her face while Bellamy did everything he could to follow suit.

"Well how long will you two be gone?" She asked.

Roma was the one to answer, "We're leaving late Friday night to drive there, and we'll be home Sunday afternoon." She turned to Bellamy. "You don't mind, do you sweetie? You know I'd bring you if I could."

Bellamy's hand dug into Clarke's knee even harder, and she noticed the way his nostrils flared with anger as he reworked his face into an apathetic smile.

"Of course I don't mind, actually.." He turned to look at Clarke, the insidious grin tugging on his lips. "It could give Clarke and I a chance for more bonding time away from the group. Besides, nobody should spend their birthday weekend alone, should they? Clarke, how about I just stay at _your_ place this weekend?" He reached up and curled his finger around a blond strand of her hair.

"Think of all the fun we'll have.."

Rationally, she knew that Bellamy was desperate and just trying to make them as jealous as possible. But If Clarke thought she couldn't breathe before, the way that Bellamy was looking at her now was enough to suck the oxygen out of her entire body. And before she could convince herself of what a horrible idea this was, she found herself saying yes.

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turning up the heat between Clarke and Bellamy.. in more ways than one!
> 
> Please leave comments and thoughts, they make me want to keep writing ;)

Once the shock had worn off for Clarke after that disastrous day at the bar, she tried her best to go back to life as normally as possible. Unfortunately, that was proving to be more difficult than she had hoped. Finn had come home with her that night, and when his fingers grazed along her waist and desire flared in his eyes- she instead feigned a headache and rolled away from him, silent tears staining her pillow. She just couldn't bring herself to sleep with him, the image of him Kissing Roma and caressing the back of her neck still weighing heavy on her mind. The rest of the weekend consisted of lazy mornings and trips to the coffee shop with Finn, listening to him rattle off about his med school classes and nodding absentmindedly while she daydreamed of slapping him across the face and hiding the way her breath quickened every time he mentioned Roma's name.

When she was alone she found herself crying, or sometimes she just stared into her television with empty eyes and bottles of spent beer and wine scattered at the foot of her couch, not even paying any mind to the dull brown and red stains bleeding into the fibers of her carpet. When she stepped out of the shower she examined every inch of her naked body and face in the mirror, wondering what parts of her had lost the allure that Finn had once craved; what it was about Clarke that would drive her own fiance' into the arms of another woman. She smoothed the pads of her fingers over her porcelain skin, studying the curve of her lips and the sapphire color of her eyes-wishing suddenly that they were rounder and more amber-colored, and coincidentally much more like Roma's..

Her confidence had been stripped away. This wasn't like her, and this certainly wasn't her life..

For the first half of the following work week, Clarke made herself sparse at the office- choosing to schedule as many client visits as humanly possible and drowning herself diligently into her work. When she finally did go into the office, she chose to confidently strut through the bullpen of cubicles with her blonde hair neatly styled and her work clothes ironed to perfection. Her updates during their sales meetings were precise and on-point and delivered in such a manner that nobody-absolutely nobody- would be any wiser to the personal hell on earth she was currently living.

Except one person of course.

For those first couple days Bellamy was practically a ghost, which Clarke found relieving. Much of the reason she was putting on such a front was to avoid Bellamy's tense and lingering gazes which she only assumed would be riddled with judgement. She was certain he was expecting, probably hoping, to see Clarke showing up to work in a weakened and vulnerable state. After all, it would be just like Bellamy to prey on her when she was most liable.  
But she refused to give him such satisfaction. She would be kidding herself if she believed that those few more tender moments they had shared- the way he calmly lured her out of her panic attack in the alley, the way his hand had gripped hers against the palm tree- were anything more than just circumstantial. It had meant nothing; and the way they now avoided eye contact and did everything possible to evade each other's presence at the office- was only definitive proof of that.

That's why Clarke had been shocked when on Wednesday he wandered into her cubicle completely unannounced. She was eating her lunch at her desk when she caught a flash of dark curls and full lips in the reflection of her monitor, and she nearly jumped out of her seat.

"Bellamy?" She was hoping to be more cool and aloof when they finally spoke again, but instead she had practically choked on her noodle soup.

His gaze was cold and steady as his dark eyes fixed on her, his legs spread in an arduous stance and his arms crossed over his chest.

"Clarke." The bravado of his voice vibrated through her in that familiar way, and she hated to think that she had actually missed it.

She tilted her chin, "So we're talking now?"

Bellamy just grunted and turned away from her, carefully studying the photograph in her collage again- the one that pictured Clarke, Finn, Roma, and Bellamy smiling and all huddled together. It had been taken on the last day of an arts festival in upstate New York, which was the same weekend that Finn had proposed to Clarke- right after Bellamy had proposed to Roma.

"Why do you have this picture up?" He asked, his back still turned to her.

"What do you mean? That was a nice weekend, plus Finn proposed to me then so I guess it's just sentimental."

"Hmmph." Bellamy shifted his jaw. "How are things with you and Prince Charming?" His voice held no real interest, and Clarke almost resented him for even asking.

"It's fine." She replied. Bellamy suddenly turned to her and arched his brow, as if to call her on her bullshit. She sighed, "Okay fine. I guess they're a little..off. I mean, he still seems to think that things are pretty normal between us, so I guess that's good."

Bellamy looked unimpressed. "Is it good? Are you pretending to be the perfect fiance' now? Are you screwing his brains out enough to keep him away from Roma?"

Clarke looked appalled, but then reminded herself that technically that was all a part of her original plan. "Well I think I was pretty pleasant to him this past weekend, all things considering. And he told me he loved me several times too, but no I am not currently screwing his brains out, thank you very much. Sorry to disappoint, but I may need a little more time to recover for that." Her tone was bitter, but she didn't care.

Clarke had probably only imagined the tiny flash of relief in his eyes before Bellamy's gaze suddenly dropped to the floor, shifting uncomfortably.

"So how are you and Roma then?"

"Weird." He sounded distant, almost robotic. "We went to her family reunion on Sunday, all of her aunts had me surrounded and asked when we were setting a date for the wedding. Roma was acting all excited about it." He snorted out a huff of laughter. "Ironic isn't it?"

Clarke didn't know why her shoulders suddenly tensed at his words. "I guess so, but hey it seems like were on the right track then?"

Bellamy nodded. "And she's asked a couple times about this weekend, she seems pretty insecure about me being alone with you."

"Yeah Finn is not too thrilled either, trust me." She smiled a little. "It's funny, because if they only knew how you and I really are, they would know they had nothing to worry about."

Clarke had expected Bellamy to laugh- or at least act like he agreed- but instead he just stared at her, his sharp gaze lingering on her face until she had no choice but to look away. She cleared her throat. "Besides, it's not like you're actually planning on spending the whole weekend with me."

Bellamy cocked his head at her in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well obviously we're just letting them think you'll be at my place, you know, to make them jealous? You're not _actually_ staying with me."

Clarke could see the way Bellamy's eyes darkened by a fraction as a lopsided grin smeared across his face.

"Oh I think you're misunderstanding things Clarke." He took a step closer to her chair. "I have every intention of spending the weekend with you."

Clarke's heart skipped several beats. "You do?"

Bellamy nodded. "Of course, you're not going to make a liar out of me. If we told them I'm spending the weekend with you at your place, then that's exactly what I plan on doing. Why..are you worried about something? " He grinned wider, " I don't make you nervous...do I?"

Clarke clenched her teeth and narrowed her eyes into slits. "No, of course not. I'm actually looking forward to it." She swallowed at the colossal lump forming in her throat. "I can't wait."

"Good." Bellamy turned on his heel and marched over to her picture collage, then without warning he reached for the photograph and forcefully ripped it from the wall, ignoring the way Clarke's mouth hung open in shock as he dropped it on top of her desk and leaned into her ear. "I don't want to see that fucking picture right now." He pulled back for a second before leaning in one last time. "By the way, I sleep naked. I hope that doesn't bother you?"

Bellamy spun around and walked away, tossing a smirk over his shoulder and shouting. "See you Friday, Princess!"

 

"Do you have your toothbrush, honey?" Clarke's voice yelled over the sound of running water in Finn's bathroom. "You always have your toothpaste packed and then still forget your toothbrush."

She heard his laughter sounding out musically from behind the door, and it tugged painfully at something in her heart. She had been watching Finn neatly folding and packing his clothes into his suitcase, paying special attention to the fact that he was only choosing his nicest pairs of boxers to bring with him. Nausea gripped her stomach at the thought that he may be wearing them later that night-with Roma.

Friday had come too quickly, and she was trying desperately to play the part of the doting fiance'- packing him his favorite lasagna to take with him, helping him pick out his nicest suit for the wedding, and even cleaning his place so he could come home to a spotless apartment. And this time, when he leaned in to kiss her and reached for the hem of her shirt- Clarke didn't stop him. Afterwards she lay naked in his bed as he dressed to go to the airport, cuddling her an all of five seconds before pulling away and going about his business. But Finn was never into that kind of thing anyways after sex, so she told herself not to let it get to her. She wondered if he even felt guilty..at all?

An hour later Clarke was driving Finn to the airport to meet Roma. Her brain was tuning out Finn's endless chatter about all his high school friends he would be seeing at the wedding, and even tossing several comments in about how much he wished she could come along- which she didn't believe for a second. The reality of her situation was sinking in now, the weight was crushing down on her chest as she willingly drove her fiance' to to the terminal so he could fly away with his lover.

She must really be crazy...

"So, is Bellamy really planning to stay with you this weekend?" Finn's words yanked her out of her thoughts.

"What? Oh-yes."

There was a weary look in Finn's eyes as he stared out the car window, his fingers nervously rapping against the center console. "I'm not sure I like that idea. Isn't he sort of.. _flirtatious_ with you?"

"Excuse me?!" Clarke's jaw dropped in disbelief. "Correct me if I'm wrong..but are you or are you not staying both nights alone with Roma? And in the same hotel room none the less?"

Something flashed in Finn's eyes, and Clarke was worried for a second that she may have given too much away. "You know it's not like that with she and I. We're practically like brother and sister."

Clarke struggled to maintain her composure as the rage bubbled inside of her.. She was pretty sure brothers and sisters didn't shove their tongues down each other's throats.

"Bellamy and I are just friends, Finn. In fact, Bellamy and I are no more likely to sleep together than you and Roma." The moment those words left Clarke's lips, she wished could stuff them back in. Not because of how it sounded to Finn- but rather it planted a dangerous series of thoughts in her own mind.. which she immediately pushed away. The thought of her and Bellamy together was just ridiculous.

"Well when you put it that way...I guess I have nothing to worry about." His lips were tightly pursed together as he tried to play it off, and Clarke fought the urge to roll her eyes. He he had no room to talk, and he knew it.

Once they reached the terminal drop-off lane Clarke waited as he got out and unloaded his suitcase before she came out to meet him on the sidewalk.

"I'm going to miss you," Finn said, pulling her into him and kissing her softly. His phone suddenly beeped and he pulled away, glancing around her shoulder.

"Roma's here already, do you want to come say goodbye to her?"

Clarke was about to make a quick exit when she heard the high pitched squeal behind her, the wide-eyed brunette suddenly jumping into her path.

"Oh my God CLARKE! I'm so happy I caught you before you left, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday for tomorrow!" Clarke winced at her voice rattling her ears- she seemed even perkier than usual. "I'm sorry we'll miss it, but I promise we'll all celebrate as soon as we get back!" 

"Sounds like a plan." Clarke strained her facial muscles into a smile as she graciously accepted Roma's hug, while simultaneously controlling the urge to rip her hair out. 

Finn stepped forward and kissed her briefly on the lips once more, promising to text her when they landed. Clarke watched as the two friends/lovers disappeared into the huddled masses of the airport and Clarke finally accepted the pain as she drove all the way home with tears running down her cheeks.

By the time she yanked open the door to her apartment building, her tears had dried into dark mascara smudges her eyes. But as she drudged her way down the long hallway she suddenly jumped, catching sight of something- or some one- leaning against her door. Even from a distance, she would have recognized that tan skin, that dark unruly mop,  and those perfectly chiseled features anywhere...it was Bellamy. 

"Miss me, Princess?"

His playful grin was a little too exaggerated, and Clarke could tell he was in just as much pain as she was. But still- she hadn't missed the way his eyes unconsciously lit up when she turned the corner, and it made her relax into a smile.

"Not as much as you missed me apparently." She walked forward and pulled out her keys, her eyes darting to his gym bag stuffed with clothes. "Did you drop Roma off at the airport and then rush over here- just to stand around in my hallway?"

"Maybe."

Clarke laughed as he followed her inside, tossing his gym bag on the kitchen floor and immediately shrugging out of his jacket as she closed the door behind them. Bellamy stripped down to a thin grey tee-shirt,  and she did a double-take when she saw the way it gripped his body and accentuated his strong build- Clarke quickly looked away. If he caught her staring she would never hear the end of it.

"Thanks, by the way, for leaving me alone to see the lovebirds off.. I felt like such a third wheel."

Bellamy snorted, "Yeah sorry about that, but I didn't feel like torturing myself any more than I have to. Plus I really might have punched Finn this time....wait.. are you crying?" 

Shit. Clarke really couldn't handle him mocking her right now. "Crying? No, of course not!"

Bellamy was unconvinced, but he mercifully let it drop when he saw the look on her face. He cleared his throat, "Well what's on the agenda then? We have two whole days to kill and we better spend it doing something more interesting than standing around and staring awkwardly at one another."

"We're we doing that?"

He gave her a sly smile, "Only when I was taking off my jacket.." 

The blush colored her cheeks as she silently cursed herself. She should have known he would catch her staring.

She rolled her eyes. "I was  _not_ staring at you Bellamy. Get over yourself."

"Ha- Whatever you say Princess." Bellamy placed his hands on his hips and surveyed the apartment, scrutinizing every detail. "Now let's discuss sleeping arrangements, so where exactly is your bedroom again?"

Clarke's stomach tightened, was he serious?. "Well MY bedroom is down the hall to the right, while YOUR bedroom is right over there." She pointed to the couches in her living room. "They are very comfortable, I assure you."

He cocked an eyebrow at her, "Am I seriously being exiled to the couches?"

Clarke sighed, glancing down. "I promised Finn you would."

Bellamy's eyes suddenly narrowed on her, his jaw twitching in anger. " _Finn_  asked that I not sleep by you? Well fuck that, now I plan on sleeping right on top of you. _Naked_."

"Bellamy!?" Clarke shrieked. "You will _absolutely_ be sleeping on those couches now!"

Bellamy glared daggers at her, crossing his arms. "Fine, but we'll just see how the night goes.. won't we?" It was definitely a challenge, and Clarke couldn't help but wonder just how far Bellamy would go just to piss off Finn..

"You're disgusting.." She scowled.

There was a strange tension in the air as Clarke and Bellamy lapsed into silence, each of them leaning against opposite counters with their gazes fixed on the floor. He finally looked up. "Your birthday is tomorrow right?"

Clarke huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, Great way to spend your birthday, huh? Being abandoned by my fiance' for another girl AND being forced to hang out with some one who hates me."

Bellamy's brow furrowed, "I hate you? Since when do I hate you?"

"Oh please Bellamy, I'm not in the mood for your little mind games. You know damn well that we constantly say how much we hate each other- like every day since we started working together."

Bellamy smirked,  tapping his chin in thought. "Hmmm.. We do say that a lot don't we?" As he stepped closer to her, Clarke's mind suddenly drifted to the other night when he had her backed against the counter in a towel..

"Listen Clarke." He stopped before getting too close this time. "Our situation sucks..I mean really sucks. But right now, hate each other or not, we are still each other's only hope to get through this weekend without being completely depressed. Roma and Finn are out right now doing- _God only knows what_ \- so you and I are going to go out and have a little fun of our own, whether you like it or not." He crossed his arms and stared coldly at her. "Now go get dressed."

Clarke's eyes widened, and as much as she wished she hated the idea of going out with Bellamy, she couldn't help but think he'd be a perfect distraction right now. And judging by the flashes of sadness in Bellamy's own eyes that no amount of smirks or cold stares could conceal- he needed a distraction just as badly.

"And where exactly are you taking me Mr. Blake?"

"Somewhere we can get very, _very_ drunk."

 

Clarke wasn't sure exactly what prompted her to get so decked out for their little excursion, but as soon as she slid the scandalously short black dress over her head, she felt like a new woman. The feel of the thin fabric hugging her curves and her stilettos accentuating her legs made her bite her lip with excitement. She decided to leave her long blonde hair tumbling in waves down her shoulders and back, and she slicked on a daringly red lipstick and several new coats of mascara and- Voila! She was utterly transformed.

"Okay Bellamy, I'm all yours!" She regretted the words immediately as she shouted over the couch and walked into the kitchen. Bellamy was already splayed out on the couch and making himself very much at home when he caught sight of Clarke. His reaction was priceless- his jaw dropped as he stumbled to get to his feet.

"Wow. You look.." His eyebrows raised as he scanned over her slowly, fighting the urge to lick his lips. "Would it be weird if I said that dress is making me hate you a little less?"

Clarke's stilettos clicked against her kitchen floor as she shoved her keys into Bellamy's chest. "Yes. And you're driving."

Bellamy chuckled, breathing a soft "Anything you say Princess" into her ear as she strutted past him and he followed closely behind.

 

Thirty minutes later Clarke and Bellamy were seated at the bar of a local pub called Brentwood Tavern, a place known for cheap shots, drunk dancing, and surprisingly good cheeseburgers. Finn hated the place, always calling it a "dive" and refusing to go there- so she almost never got the chance. Clarke huffed at the thought as she rotated her hips back and forth, enjoying the swivel motion of her bar stool as the red vinyl covers stuck against the exposed skin on her thighs.

"Having fun?" Bellamy was watching her with a wry smile.

"I'd be having more fun if you'd order those damn tequila shots already."

"Alright..alright..bossy much?" He leaned in and motioned for the bartender to bring them the shots and another round of IPA's. " _You know_ , I never would have guessed you were this much of a drinker."

Clarke took another heavy swig of her beer as Bellamy couldn't help but laugh. He handed Clarke her shot as they rose them in the air.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Bellamy." Clarke sighed wistfully, "And you probably never will."

The two of them clicked their shot glasses together and tossed them back, slamming them down on the bar in unison. Bellamy shrugged out of his jacket again, the heat of the alcohol obviously getting to both of them now.

"I don't know about that.." He arched his brow at her, his full lips tugging playfully at the corners. "I think I already know more about you than before."

"Ha." Clarke huffed, "And what exactly do you know?" She couldn't wait to hear this.

Bellamy looked pensive, his finger slowly circling the rim of his beer glass in a way that made Clarke cross her legs a little tighter.

"Well..for example, I know that you smoke cigarettes when you're stressed out. Oh- and I know you get panic attacks." He winked at her as Clarke hid her embarrassment behind her next swig.

"Yeah, about that." She lazily wiped the beer from her chin, "Thanks again by the way. Finn always freaks out on me when I get like that."

Bellamy frowned, "He's an idiot Clarke, you know that right?"

Clarke didn't answer this time, she just looked away uncomfortably. "Okay new subject- So what else do you  _think_ you know about me?"

Bellamy's jaw shifted as his dark eyes began to roll down her body. "Hmm...I know what you look like in a bath towel."

She coughed, feeling a warmth rise in her stomach a she tugged at the bottom of her dress. "You do know that." She admitted.

Bellamy was still studying her as she shifted on her stool, watching her with a smug expression. "And I know that you don't hate me as much as you think you do."

"Wrong." Clarke slammed her glass down. "Wrong Bellamy, you are _literally_ the bane of my existence. Did you know that when I see you at work I actually _cringe_? And then I usually run in the other direction as quickly as possible. And I'm pretty sure you do the same thing,  by the way."

"You're right, I do." He chuckled darkly and raised his beer to his lips, keeping his eyes fixed on her. "But you love every second of it Clarke. It's like office-foreplay."

Clarke nearly spit her beer out. "Foreplay? That only counts as foreplay if we wanted to have sex with each other." _Yep the alcohol was definitely melting away her filter..._

Bellamy looked shocked, he swallowed hard as something unrecognizable flashed in his eyes. "Well now, we certainly wouldn't want that.." His voice trailed off uncertainly.

Her smile faded from her lips. "No, we wouldn't." They held onto each other's gaze for a moment too long, the air between them growing heavier.

"I..uhh..have to go to the bathroom." She cleared her throat as Bellamy's eyes fell to the floor.

"Yeah..uh..okay. I'll order us some more beers."

She hopped down from the stool and made her way towards the bathroom, feeling the way the alcohol was swaying her body- but still not enough to calm the muddled thoughts racing through her mind. As she walked into the restroom she glanced back- he had both hands gripping his glass and his head bowed forward as he sat alone, waiting for her. It looked like his eyes were closed, and Clarke realized he was working something through in his mind. She let herself admire the way his messy curls fell forward over his brow, he was always raking a hand through his unruly mop so he could see her without hair falling in his eyes..

 _NO_. she had to snap out of it..what the hell was she thinking? They were engaged to Roma and Finn, and besides this was BELLAMY BLAKE. Yes, admittedly their situation was complicated- but that didn't change the fact that Bellamy just didn't think about her that way, nor she him. 

She shoved her way into the bathroom, only to emerge a couple minutes later feeling refreshed (not that she brushed her hair or fixed her make-up or anything) and completely renewed with her way of thinking. She and Bellamy were just co-workers- who hated each other- and were thrown into a tough situation that they were dealing with together. Technically it didn't even make them friends, really. She straightened up and strutted back towards the bar, only to find herself nearly colliding with some one who had stepped into her path.

"Well now, who is this sexy thing?"

Clarke looked up to see a tall, bald man towering over her, his beady eyes pouring over her body like she was a piece of meat.

"Hi.." Clarke mumbled, trying to step around him, only to have the man block her again.

"Where you goin' sweetheart? Don't think I'm gonna let you slip past me when you're looking  _this good."_ The man's tongue darted hungrily over his grimy lips, and Clarke felt like she was going to vomit.

"Listen, I'm just trying to get back to the bar." Clarke was trying to stay calm, but her voice came out shakier than she had hoped.

"Oh I'm not letting you go _anywhere_ honey, unless you're coming home with _me_ , of course." The man cackled out a disgusting laugh and leered at her, Clarke felt her entire body go stiff as the man reached up to grab her arm..

"Excuse me, but what the _fuck_ is going on here?" The deep voice came rumbling behind him, and Clarke's shoulders relaxed at the sound of it.

The bald man turned to see Bellamy circling around him to step in front of Clarke, shielding her with his body. His jaw hardened as he stared the man down, his eyes going black with rage. 

"Get away from her. _Now._ " Bellamy's voice was lower than usual, and even _she_ was a little frightened. Her gaze was suddenly drawn to the muscles in his back rippling with tension, his chest rising higher as he lifted his chin.

The man stumbled back. "What are you? Her boyfriend?"

Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest, his biceps doubling in size. "Damn right I am. This girl is _mine_ and nobody else touches her but me, got it?" 

The man's eyes darted between the two of them, and then he sighed and raised his hands in surrender. "Okay man, I'm sorry. I didn't know." 

"Just get the fuck away from her." He growled again, and without another word the man backed away and disappeared.

 

Clarke stared at Bellamy, blinking in shock. Why did he protect her like that? And what had he meant by " _nobody else touches her but me._."

He turned to face her, sucking in a deep breath and laying his hands on her shoulders. His dark eyes were glazed over as the remaining bits of fury still swirled inside them.

"Clarke, you're not leaving my side for one fucking second tonight, you got that?"

Clarke swallowed hard and nodded, her blue eyes were wide as she felt the heat rising inside her again. 

"Got it." She laughed shakily, "So you're my boyfriend now, huh?"

Bellamy's gaze deepened as he reached up and ran his fingers along her jawline possessively. "I'd fuck you right here if it meant keeping guys like that away from you."

Her breath hitched in her throat, the heat in her stomach igniting into a fire. " _Bellamy?_ " Her voice was barely audible as she mouthed his name.

He smirked. "Don't take that too literally Princess. Unless of course you change your mind about those sleeping arrangements.."

Bellamy straightened up and wrapped his hand around hers, leading Clarke back to the bar. "Come on. We're closing our tab and getting out of here."

 

A short while later Clarke was raiding the freezers at the local mini-mart, a place that basically carried nothing but alcohol and stayed open til 2 am. 

"Bellamy!? Do you like vanilla?"

"Bo-ring!" Bellamy shouted to her from several aisles over. She scowled and tossed yet another ice cream carton back onto the shelf.

"I should have known you'd choose vanilla." He appeared beside her a minute later with a grin. "You  _are_ vanilla."

Clarke glared at him, "Excuse me? There is nothing  _vanilla_ about me." She shoved another ice-cream carton at his chest. "Here. Chocolate Marshmallow. I don't care if you hate this one too, we're buying it and you _will_ like it."

"I actually happen to love Chocolate Marshmallow." He threw an arm around her shoulders as they walked towards the cashier. "It's so adorable how well we know each other."

Clarke rolled her eyes and pushed him away.

 

Ten minutes later they were dumping the ice cream, the six pack, and the bottle of red wine onto her kitchen counter. Clarke watched as Bellamy somehow navigated his way expertly around her kitchen, throwing several plates and glasses in front of her and digging around the drawers for utensils. Clarke shoved the corkscrew into the wine bottle and lifted the cork with a satisfying pop.

"God, I love that sound." She sighed, pouring the red liquid into two glasses and pushing one towards Bellamy.

"Yeah, me too. Does that make us alcoholics?" He ignored her look of protest as he jumped up and sat on her counter, twirling his wine glass in hands.

"Ah, who cares. Speaking of alcoholics..know any good drinking games?"

Bellamy's lips twisted into an evil grin. "I know a few.. how about Spin the Bottle?"

Clarke glared at him, "No."

"Okay.. Seven Minutes in Heaven?"

"Try again."

"Strip Poker?"

"Bellamy! How about a game that doesn't end in sex?"

He frowned, "Who said anything about sex? Strip Poker doesn't need to end in sex. Come on Princess, afraid you might not be able to control yourself around me?"

Clarke grit her teeth, she hated when he did this. He knew exactly how to push her buttons. "I'm not afraid of anything Bellamy. You're the one who won't be able to control themself."

Bellamy suddenly leaned forward and wrapped his fingers around her arm, pulling her closer to him. "Hey listen. I can control myself whenever I want to- Don't you worry about that. Besides.."

His dark eyes flitted across her face, "We can't let Roma and Finn have all the fun, can we? Just a simple game of Poker, _I promise no touching_."

Clarke's gaze dropped to the floor, and Bellamy suddenly wished that he had never mentioned their names at all. Still, he was surprised at how much it affected him, the way her crystal blue eyes filling up with sadness was enough to make his heart sink in his chest. He really _hated_ seeing her like that.

"Hey, Clarke." Bellamy's eyes softened now as he moved to gently brush a blond curl out her eyes, and Clarke's breath caught at the intimacy of the gesture. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have mentioned them." He sighed and squeezed his fingers tighter around her wrist. "Listen- tonight Finn and Roma don't exist, okay? It's just you and me. Oh and-" He grabbed the bottle next to him. "And _this_ bottle of wine. Just you, me, and the wine. That's all we need." He smiled crookedly at her, and Clarke had never seen him looking so innocent as he did now. With his smile crinkling his eyes and the light dusting of freckles splattered across his cheeks.. it made her feel like everything might actually be okay for once.

Clarke took a deep breath, "You know what? You are absolutely right. Who says we can't have a little fun?" She swiped the wine bottle off the counter and headed towards the living room.

"And that Strip Poker sounds like a pretty good idea right now. I'll grab the cards." She winked at Bellamy over her shoulder, and she turned back around just in time to miss Bellamy's eyes widen nervously and his fingers grip tightly against the counter.

He hadn't actually expected her to say yes...

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoy this chapter! 
> 
> As always, please leave me comments! You guys have been so encouraging!

“Here.” Bellamy tossed her a sweater that he found crumpled up on the ground behind her couch. “Put that on.”

Clarke was puzzled as she stared at the ratty piece of grey fabric in her hands.

“And why exactly would I do that?” They were sitting across from one another on Clarke’s living room carpet, the poker deck being shuffled at lightning-speed between her fingers.

“Because we have to have equal amounts of clothing to make this fair. I have my jacket, my shirt, and my jeans over here. What do you have- that _dress_? If you can even call it a dress.. and then you’re practically naked.”

Clarke gave him a baffled look, “And you’re complaining about that?”

Bellamy hesitated, “Well, no- but I _am_ trying to make things fair. This way when I _beat_ you I know it won’t be because you were at a disadvantage.”

“Ha.” Clarke’s eyes lit up in amusement as she dealt the cards. “Ye of little faith I see? Well I happen to be very good at Poker so I’m not particularly worried.”

Bellamy sighed and analyzed his cards, being overly conscious of every possible twitch or movement in his eyes, keeping his face a blank slate. He had a pretty decent hand actually, a Two Pair- a pair of tens and a pair of sevens. He glanced up at Clarke. Her face was a perfect mask of indifference, and immediately Bellamy knew she would be a worthy opponent- but then again she always was. When he had suggested this game he may have been a little too drunk, or too eager to distract Clarke from the obvious despair in her eyes. But the reality of them actually playing, of his cards and his poker abilities determining whether or not she would end up _naked_ at the end of the night, was a swiftly sobering thought. He cleared his throat.

“What are we betting?” He asked.

Clarke took a sip from her wine glass beside her, already her second one- and Bellamy noticed the pink flush of her skin, hinting that she was a little tipsy.

“Your jacket. My dress.” She said coolly.

“You’re sure?” Bellamy eyed her warily.

“Just go Blake. Do you want to draw?”

Bellamy scrutinized his deck, weighing the options in his mind before shaking his head at her. “No, I’m keeping my hand.”

“Well I’m drawing.” Clarke reached forward and drew two new cards for two of her old ones, then fanned the deck back out. Bellamy thought he caught a minor twitch in her lips as she assessed them. “Okay, on the count of three show your cards.

Bellamy nodded. “One...two…”

“Three.” Clarked said, and both players laid down their hands for the other to see.

Bellamy’s Two Pair paled in comparison to Clarke’s Straight Flush.

“Shit..” Bellamy pressed his lips together, wincing. “I guess I’m the first one to strip, huh?”

He pulled the jacket off his shoulders and uncoiled it from his arms, casually tossing it on the couch behind him.

Clarke puffed up her chest and gave him a smug look. “See. I told you I could even out these odds very quickly.”

“Yeah, well don’t get too excited Princess. All I need is one hand and I got you down to your bra and panties.” He shot her a devilish grin.

“We’ll see about that.” Clarke gathered the deck and shuffled again, this time smiling a little as she divvied up the cards between them. “This was a good idea by the way.”

“Yeah? Well let’s see if you still think so when..” Bellamy stopped, nearly frowning as he studied his new cards- he had a total dud hand.

This could not be happening, there’s no way he could lose this game to her. His poker face was his only hope at this point as he made sure to scrub his features clean of any emotion. He peered up at Clarke over his cards, and he found her blue eyes fixed directly on him with her mouth tugging up into a sly smile. She was switching from the “blank canvas approach” to the “always looking up to no good” approach- and Bellamy wasn't sure if he loved it or hated it. But he had to admit, the way her small mouth curled at the edges and her black dress drooped low on her cleavage- was pretty distracting.

This time both Clarke and Bellamy drew new cards, scrutinizing their fresh hands as they hid their faces, only their eyes peeking out from over top. They raised an eyebrow at each other, each of them scanning their opponents subtle gestures for any signs of a tell, or something that would give their competition away.

They laid their cards out in front of them once again- and once again Clarke’s hand trumped Bellamy’s.

“Dammit!” Bellamy angrily shoved his cards away from him, and Clarke let out a satisfied laugh. “This is not funny Clarke, this is serious now.. you _do_ know that I refuse to lose this game, right?”

“Sure, Bellamy. You keep saying that- and in the meantime I _believe_ you should be stripping off that shirt.” She motioned to him with her finger.

“Fine. But you’re going to be eating that smirk soon, trust me.” Bellamy growled and got to his feet, reaching for the hem of his tee-shirt and pulling it over his head in one quick motion.

Clarke’s eyes widened as she scanned the tan, hard plains of his chest and stomach, the rippling muscles in his shoulders as they glistened in the soft light of her apartment. She was definitely staring now, and this time she wasn't even trying to hide it. Bellamy noticed her blue eyes wandering over him, and his lips twisted into an evil grin. He subtly flexed as he sat back down on the carpet, reaching up and running his hands through his black hair and letting them fall back in messy tendrils over his brow.

“Clarke, for someone who hates me so much, you’re really _eye fucking_ me like crazy right now. You know that right?”

****Clarke went stiff, dropping her eyes to her lap. “No..I was just..shut up!” She tossed her loose blonde curls over her shoulder “Next hand?”

“We’re sure as hell not stopping now.” He huffed.

This time Bellamy snatched the cards from her to shuffle, and Clarke was mesmerized by the swift and intricate movements of his fingers moving in and out of the pile, letting her mind wander about what else his hands could do..

 _No_ _Clarke_ -she mentally chastised herself- _Remember you two despise each other_.

Bellamy divvied up the cards a third time, and to his surprise he soon realized he was playing a winning hand. A Royal Flush- there was no way she could beat him this time. Bellamy looked giddy with excitement when he finally got the chance to slam his cards down on the carpet with a smug look.

“ _Strip Princess_.” He demanded.

Clarke’s jaw dropped in horror. “You cheated! You shuffle once and suddenly you have a _Royal Flush_?!”

“You watched me shuffle- you _know_ I didn’t cheat.” Bellamy’s menacing expression warned her before his voice did. “Off with the dress. _Now_.”

She narrowed her eyes, pulling back her shoulders as she reluctantly got to her feet. Clarke stood for a moment as she smoothed her fingers along the fabric on her waist, with Bellamy’s eyes following her every movement- when she suddenly paused. Bellamy smirked and arched his brow.

“Something wrong? You know Clarke.. I’m happy to win if you just admit that you’re _scared_.”

Madness surged through her as she stared directly into Bellamy’s challenging gaze and slipped the straps from her shoulders, quickly peeling the entire dress down and kicking it behind her.

Clarke stood before him in her black lace bra and black silk panties, watching as Bellamy’s breath faltered and his dark eyes roamed over her body in a _very_ dangerous way. Clarke felt her pulse quicken under his heated gaze- tracing the contours of her hips..her stomach.. her breasts..before moving back to her eyes.

He cleared his throat suddenly, “I..uh..think we’re done here. You win Clarke.”

Her forehead creased in confusion, “What? Seriously?”

“We’re _done_.” Bellamy asserted, standing back on his feet. She noticed his eyes were straining to stay glued on her face now, avoiding looking at her nakedness. She had never seen him this rattled, the way his gaze darted off to the side, the way his shoulders tensed when she unknowingly grazed her finger along the top of her cleavage.

She grinned, feeling like for once she had the upper hand. Bellamy was always the one intimidating _her_ \- whispering fiery insults into her ear, staring her down with those sultry brown eyes, towering over her with that body…those tan, chiseled abs and chest.. _Shit-_  She was staring at him again. Her eyes flew back to his face. His jaw was taut, watching her with a solemn expression.

“Well Bellamy.” Her voice was shaky. “ _Who_ is eye fucking _who_ now..?”

He took a step towards her, and Clarke’s whole body froze as he came just near enough to touch her. Bellamy hesitated, and then he reached up to lightly brush his fingertips along the porcelain skin on her rib cage. He breathed in and began tracing an enticing line that slowly curved all the way down her waist until he was hooking his fingers around her hip, gently pulling her closer.

“I am.” He whispered, his breath mingling with hers.

Clarke’s heart went still in her chest. As much as her brain was screaming at her to stop..stop this now.. she couldn't concentrate on anything besides the unexpectedly gentle way he was touching her. The way his dark eyes were sweeping over her face, his chest rising and falling a little heavier than usual.

Without thinking, Clarke stepped into him and rested her palm against his stomach, amazed at how pale she looked against his golden skin. She could feel his heart beating furiously as she smoothed her hand up and over his chest.

“Clarke..” Bellamy’s deep voice was strained, she looked up to see his emotions warring behind his eyes, a fierce desire mixed with something else that she couldn't quite describe. Clarke then felt Bellamy’s other hand come up to her side, and a second later she realized he was stopping her from coming any closer.

“I’m sorry..” He backed away from her, releasing his grip.

Clarke felt relieved and rejected all at once. She didn't understand what had just happened, it was like her body had been ruthlessly drawing her to Bellamy against her mind’s better judgment.

“We can’t do this Clarke.” There was pained look in his eyes as she turned away from him, absolutely mortified at her own behavior. She nearly cheated on Finn- and even someone like Bellamy was able to control himself more than she was. Bellamy reached to grab her shoulder and she tore herself further away, keeping her back to him.

“No. You’re right Bellamy, this is _wrong_. This is all wrong! What the _hell_ was I thinking!?”

“Clarke..no please it’s not like that..”

“I hate you...” She hissed. “I've always hated you, and all you do is just screw with my head!” She spun around to face him. “That’s all you’ve _ever_ done Bellamy….playing your stupid mind games where you just _have_ to beat me, and just _have_ to degrade me, and then you make me think you might actually be a fucking human being sometimes..and then you’re an asshole all over again!”

Bellamy looked crushed as he watched her unraveling in front of him.

“But this...this is a new low, even for you Bellamy. To make me think that you may actually be my friend at a time I need one most. And especially now with the way you _look_ at me and the way you _touch_ me, pretending like you want to kiss me or _sleep_ with me or….”

“STOP!” Bellamy lunged towards Clarke and firmly cupped his hands around both sides of her cheeks, holding her face in his palms. He gazed at her desperately from under his dark, disheveled curls- his eyes searching hers as he exhaled a warm breath that glossed over her lips.

“Clarke." The brassy voice vibrated through her nerves."I’m not playing mind games with you anymore. And I’m not just _pretending_ any of those things. Listen to me- the only reason I’m stopping myself tonight is because I know it’s not right. And not because of Finn and Roma.. but because of _you_. You and I are both in pain, and as sexy as you are and as gorgeous as I’ve always known you are.. I just can’t take advantage of this situation. You’re drinking this heavy to dull your pain, and I don’t want to be part of something you’ll just regret in the morning. You deserve better than that.”

****  
****

Clarke was stunned. His words were so jarring, and so foreign coming from the lips of Bellamy Blake- yet at the same time, somehow, she knew he was telling the truth. This was probably the first time ever that she could look into those dark, mysterious eyes and know exactly what he was thinking- And shockingly, he was thinking about _her_.

What world was she living in that she could now see the lies and deceit in her perfect fiance', and yet she could see the genuine honesty in the eyes of her hated nemesis?

"So...what you're saying is, you don't actually hate me?"

A crooked smile suddenly broke across Bellamy's lips. "No Princess, I don't hate you. However.." He glanced down at her bra and her naked torso. "I _do_ hate the fact that you're inches away from me wearing nothing but underwear, and I can't do a _damn_ thing about it." He sucked in a deep breath. "Can you maybe put on a shirt or something?"

Clarke giggled, and Bellamy smiled wider at the lightness in it's tone. "Sure, I'll go grab a tank top. And some pants too, while I'm at it." She turned towards her room and Bellamy caught her by the elbow.

"Actually, hold off on the pants. Just the tank and the panties should be fine. After all, I'm still not wearing any shirt-so it seems only fair?" There was a mischievous glint in his eye as he winked at her, and Clarke rolled her eyes. " _Fine_. But you're going to stare at my ass as I walk away, aren't you?"

He gave her an incredulous look. "I think you already know the answer to that."

An hour or so later, Clarke (wearing just a tank top and panties) and Bellamy (still with no shirt on) were lounging on opposite ends of Clarke’s couch with their legs completely intertwined and watching some C-rated horror flick about college kids in the zombie apocalypse. They were burning right through their six pack of beer as Bellamy kept tossing popcorn into Clarke’s mouth, but mostly just hitting her in the face with it. Clarke twirled a spoon against her tongue, licking off the last remnants of the chocolate marshmallow ice cream they had eaten earlier.

“Stop doing that.” He tossed another piece of popcorn that hit her square in the forehead.

“Hey!” Clarke brushed the stray kernel out of her hair. “Stop doing what?”

“That thing with your tongue and the spoon. You need to stop.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes, “And what will happen if I don’t?”

Bellamy bit his tongue, and turned back to face the screen. "Never mind." He grumbled, shooting Clarke a dirty look as she laughed at him.

"This movie's ridiculous, the gore is a little over the top, don't you think? I'm surprised you haven't been hiding your eyes." He poked at her hip with his foot, teasingly.

"What?!" Clarke shouted. "That's the best part! Besides, I'm kind of into scary or creepy stuff, I always have been. When I was a teenager I would drag my friends around to all these supposedly "haunted" or abandoned places to investigate them. But now Finn thinks it's totally weird that I'm into that stuff and refuses to go... _wait_ \- can I show you something?"

Bellamy raised his eyebrow. "Does it involve more stripping?" Clarke kicked him in the stomach. "Ow! Geez.. I was joking! Okay yes, show me."

Clarke bit her lip excitedly and jumped off the couch, running towards her room. Bellamy strongly considered following her until she re-appeared again with a leather-looking portfolio in her hand.

Bellamy scooted up against the side of the couch as she settled beside him. Suddenly he decided she was too far away, so he reached out and grabbed her by the waist-dragging her to sit in between his legs. She yelped in surprise as he fastened his arms around her from behind and rested his chin on her shoulder. 

Clarke's eyes widened, and then slowly her lids fell heavy again as she appreciated the feeling of his warm, bare skin wrapped around her, the way his arms were powerful as they held her back against his chest.

"This is new..." Clarke said.

Bellamy squeezed his arms a little tighter around her stomach, turning to chuckle in her ear. "Just open the book, Clarke."

She flipped open the cover, slowly leafing through as Bellamy gazed down at the charcoal and pastel sketches that graced the pages. They were pictures of broken and run-down landscapes- images of old factories, abandoned homes and subways, and even a an old tow path overgrown with weeds. The way the blacks and the grays created harsh shadows against the vibrant and fading colors- Bellamy couldn't tear his eyes away from them. He stared at every picture in total awe.

"Clarke...these are _incredible_..you did these?"

She nodded, smiling to herself. "I did. These are some of those haunted or abandoned places I was telling you about." She sighed, running her fingers over the sketches."I wanted so badly to capture the beauty in things that others won't see. There's just something so fascinating about the way things deteriorate when they're forgotten, and that's when they're the most beautiful to me. Does that make me weird?"

Bellamy was silent for a long moment until he finally moved to softly graze his lips over her cheek. "No. Actually... I think that makes you _amazing_."

Clarke exhaled sharply as Bellamy's lips continued to brush against her ear now, slowly trailing downwards and planting a barely-there kiss behind her jaw. Her heart stopped. Bellamy's fingers curled around hers as he continued kissing a path down her neck, sending electric pulses through her body at the feeling of his heated lips pressing against her bare skin.

She turned her face slightly as he came back up to meet her cheek, her breath stilling as his lips moved towards the corner of her mouth..

 

Suddenly there was a piercing ringing sound, and Clarke and Bellamy jerked their faces away, almost like they'd been caught. She swiped her cell phone off the coffee table and stared at the screen.

"Finn's calling..." She whispered.

Bellamy swallowed hard and nodded, still keeping his arms coiled tightly around her.

Clarke put the phone to her ear as Bellamy lightly stopped her hand and mouthed, "Speaker?"

She lowered the phone in front of them and hit the speaker button.

"Finn?"

"Clarke!" Finn's excited voice jolted their ears. "Happy Birthday baby! It's midnight!"

Bellamy glanced at the time and looked back to her with a soft smile, wishing he had been the one to say it.

"Sorry I can't be there honey, I really wish I could celebrate with you." Finn sounded sincere, and Clarke felt her chest tightening. She wondered if Roma was anywhere near him...

"It's..it's fine Finn, really. But thank you."

The line was silent for a second before he spoke again. "So what have you and Bellamy been doing?"

Bellamy's fingers found her hands again, he was tracing tiny circles in her palm that made it difficult to think straight. 

"He took me out to a bar, and then we watched this  _awful_  horror movie."

Finn feigned laughter, and Bellamy nearly rolled his eyes at how obviously forced it sounded.

"Well I'm glad you're not alone honey, I really wish I was there to give you your birthday kiss tonight, and your birthday.... _you know."_

Bellamy's jaw tightened.

"But I promise I'll make up for it," Finn continued. "..I won't be able to keep my hands off of you on Sunday. And hopefully it'll be as amazing as  _yesterday's_ sex before the airport."

Bellamy's fingers froze against her palm as he turned his face away; but not before Clarke managed to catch the hurt in his eyes.

She laughed nervously. "Yeah-can't wait. Uhh..is Roma there with you?"

There was a pause again. "Yeah. She wanted to wish you a happy birthday but she fell asleep 20 minutes ago. She also tried calling Bellamy around ten o'clock, but he didn't answer. So you might want to let him know." Clarke peered over at Bellamy, but he kept his face turned.

She and Finn exchanged a few more formalities before he wished her one more happy birthday and then wished her goodnight.

Clarke set the phone back on the table as the silence stretched between them.

"Why didn't you answer Roma's call?" She finally asked.

"I didn't hear it, I'll call her tomorrow."

The painful tension filled the air as they fell back into silence once more, each of them wondering what..or if.. there was anything left to say at all. It was especially awkward since Bellamy's arms were still wrapped around her as before, his chest still rising and falling heavily against her back.

He cleared his throat. "I thought you said you _weren't_ screwing his brains out right now?" 

Clarke pressed her lips together. "I wasn't when you asked me on Wednesday. But he wanted to mess around before he left for the airport, and I felt like I shouldn't say no. Besides- it's not like you aren't sleeping with Roma.."

"I haven't since Friday!" He snapped. "Wait- so you _fucked_ him only _two hours_ before I came over!?" He glared at her now, his eyes heavy with accusation.

Clarke fumed, what the hell had he expected? She straightened her shoulders, feeling her defenses building around her.

"Yes I fucked him! He's my _fiance'_ Bellamy, and wouldn't we be driving them more into each other's arms if we stop sleeping with them? And how _dare_ you try to make me feel bad for sleeping with my own fiance!" Clarke huffed and pushed herself up, ripping herself away from Bellamy's grasp. "You're being ridiculous, I'm going to bed. Goodnight!" She stormed in a fury down the hallway and slammed her bedroom door with a resounding thud.

Bellamy had opened his mouth to call after her, but no words came out. He closed his eyes and leaned forward, covering his face with his hands. This time he had  _really_ messed up.

 

Clarke was curled up on her bed, a blue pillow cradled tightly in her arms. She needed something to grab onto, something to squeeze with all her might so she could feel like she still had some tiny shred of control in her own damn life.

She didn't know what anything meant anymore. What did it mean that Finn was cheating on her? What did it mean for all four of them? And more importantly- why the hell was Bellamy so possessive of her lately?

There was no denying that there was a sexual tension between them, but did that mean that he actually  _cared_ for her? Her brain was quick to remind her how impossible that was, but then she thought back to their game of strip poker and when he stopped them from going too far-saying he did it to protect her.

She couldn't even let herself _think_ about what had just happened on the couch-shuddering violently at the memory of his lips moving down her neck...

 

There was a knock at her door. Clarke's head sprang up from her pillow. 

"Clarke?" His deep voice sounded strange when it came out so gently.

She didn't respond. A moment later her bedroom door creaked open and Bellamy stepped inside. The soft grey darkness of her bedroom cast shadows along his body, and as he stepped closer to her bed the moonlight from her window illuminated his bare chest. It really was a wonder that neither of them had decided to put more clothes on yet.

"Can I sit with you?"

Clarke dug her face back in her pillow, feeling very much like a child. "I guess so." She felt the mattress bowing as he sat next to her, her senses immediately drawn to the heat from his skin so close to hers again. When she looked at him, his head was low and his dark eyes were filled with remorse.

"I'm sorry Clarke. I know I had no right to get mad at you back there."

"Then why did you?" She whispered.

Bellamy's jaw shifted as he stared ahead. "I can't explain it- but when I pictured you and Finn together, it just made me _lose_ it. It made me almost sick to my stomach."

"But that makes no sense, you've seen us together a hundred times."

He sighed, running his hands through his messy, dark curls in frustration. "I know, I know..it's completely crazy and it doesn't make any sense. I should _want_ Finn to be like that with you, because then maybe he'll stop acting like that with Roma.."

Clarke winced at the painful reminder in his words just as Bellamy turned to meet her gaze. He reached up and deliberately tangled his fingers in her hair, marveling at the way they glowed a platinum white in the moon's rays.

Without his swanky and pretentious office attire-sitting here, all jeans and golden skin and taut muscles, he was just so raw and real. Clarke wondered if she had ever noticed how deep his eyes were until tonight....and that's when it hit her.

"I don't like thinking about you with Roma either." 

In the dimly lit room, Clarke could see Bellamy's mouth curling up at the corners, smiling in a way that brought softness to his hard features.

He leaned into her and rested his forehead down against hers, "That's not making things any easier on us, Clarke."

"I know." She sighed, her eyelids beginning to droop. "What are we going to do?"

Bellamy's breath brushed her cheeks. "I really don't know. But right now it looks like you could use some sleep. I should head back to the living room." He stood to leave but Clarke grabbed his arm to stop him.

"Don't leave. Sleep here with me."

Clarke's pouting expression lured a grin from his lips as he raised his eyebrow. "No more couch exile?"

"No." She said. "But not too much touching, remember what you said..you know, after poker."

The wicked glint came back to Bellamy's eye as he leaned down and scooped his arm around her waist. "I feel like all bets are off once you invite me in your bed Princess. I make no guarantees what happens now." He winked and climbed onto the bed, pulling Clarke down onto the pillows with him as she softly squealed. He lay behind her with his arm wrapped tightly around her middle, his fingers wandering under the hem of her tank top as his thumb grazed back and forth over her stomach. Clarke relaxed at the sensation, the heat from his body making it almost impossible to keep her eyes open.

"Happy Birthday Princess."

She smiled. "Bellamy..thank you for not letting me be alone on my birthday."

"You should probably know that I have _much_ more planned for your birthday than just this."

Clarke sighed, "Oh no- Should I be scared?"

He leaned into her ear. " _Very_..but you'll find out in the morning."

Both of them laughed quietly as their exhaustion- and a considerable amount of alcohol- drifted them off to sleep. 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here it is, Chapter 6! This one was a lot tougher to write, and my week's been crazy busy, so my apologies it took a full week to get this up! The next chapter shouldn't take so long- I'm expecting about 2 more chapters to come.
> 
> Thanks so much for sticking with me and I hope you enjoy!! :)
> 
> As always- please leave comments- it gives me the energy to keep writing! ;)

The morning light filtered in through Clarke’s bedroom window as Bellamy’s eyelids fluttered open. It took him a minute to realize where he was, his eyes landing on the lavender wallpaper and the lace trimmed pillow-cases that were far too feminine to be his own.

And then he remembered that he was at Clarke’s.

His mouth stretched into a lazy smile, but once he realized that his arms were wrapped around nothing but a heaping glob of  floral blankets, his smile quickly fell into a frown. His hand shot out to grope the space beside him. The bed was empty.

Bellamy groaned and and sat up, steadying himself with a palm to his forehead as he felt the room turning without him. Obviously his hang-over was protesting such drastic movements. Once he found his footing he wandered into the kitchen and called out Clarke’s name.

There was no reply. He shuffled through her cabinets until he found the Ibuprofen, popping two into his mouth with a tall glass of water. He called her name again, but still nothing.

Bellamy sighed, pulling his cell phone from his pocket, thinking maybe she had run out  to grab them some coffee. But that’s when he noticed that the coffeepot was already on, a thin layer of  freshly brewed liquid still sizzling in the pot. He grunted-at least she had the decency to leave him some.

Bellamy scrolled through his phone contacts until he found Clarke’s name.

 _Well good morning to you too Princess…_ He texted.

A few minutes later, she replied.

_I’m grabbing lunch with my mom. I didn’t want to wake you, sorry._

Bellamy furrowed his brow at such a curt response. He couldn’t help but feel a little resentful that after everything they went through the night before, that she would just take off on him without leaving so much as a note. Then again- he had to remind himself that nothing had _actually_ happened between them. But the vision of Clarke in a thin tank top and black panties, blonde curls dancing chaotically around her face as she laughed, was enough to make his head ache a little deeper than before.

He scrubbed his hand over his face, wishing he could scour the memories from his mind. He knew he needed to get a hold of himself.

Bellamy plunked down on her couch and reached for the remote, deciding he could take this time to scavenge through Clarke’s Netflix que, hopefully finding some good material he could use to harass her about later.

But every few minutes he kept glancing at the door, hoping that she would come walking through..

 

Meanwhile Clarke sat at a sidewalk cafe sipping on  peppermint tea- hoping the herbs would soothe her tumultuous stomach enough that she could actually take a bite of her sandwich. She had already swallowed at least three pills to stop the throbbing in her head, but that wasn’t doing  a damn thing to drown out the sound of Bellamy’s voice pressed against her ear, or the feeling of his fingers trailing over her skin..

“Clarke..dear, you seem a little distracted? Is everything alright?” Her mother was eying her from over her cup of coffee, all too familiar with that distant look in her daughter’s eyes.

“I don’t know,” She sighed, “I guess I just have a lot on my mind.” She twirled her spoon in her cup, knowing that it was useless to try and put on a strong front for her mother’s sake. Abigail Griffin had raised her daughter to be durable to a fault, especially after her father’s passing when she was seventeen, but she also raised her to be honest with herself.

Her mother straightened up and dabbed her mouth assuredly with her napkin. “Let me guess, this has something to do with Finn doesn’t it?”

Clarke’s jaw hung open, she didn’t make a habit usually of talking about her fiance’ with her mother. She had this strange fear that relishing about her happiness would only dig at the empty spaces in her mother’s own heart. Despite her mother being an attractive and intelligent woman, not to mention a well-respected doctor, she had never remarried after her husband’s death.

“How did you know?”

Her mother took her hand. “Clarke, you come from me remember? I know you sweetheart, and I can tell when you’re truly happy and when you’re not. You know that I think Finn is a nice guy, but I also know that every time I’ve seen you two together it feels like something is missing. I just don’t see the sparks there, and I don’t see the passion that should come with falling in love with the right person.”

Clarke blinked, wondering how long her mother had been thinking this, “Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way earlier?”

Abigail sighed, “I’m sorry sweetie, but it’s such a delicate subject and I didn’t want to meddle. I know you think that I haven’t dated much since your father because I’m too sad or I’m too busy; but the reality is that I just won’t settle for anything less than the true passion that I felt with your father. You only get one life Clarke, and you better not waste it on being with somebody that you’re “comfortable” with. Love is about taking chances, and you have to _live_ a little kiddo.”

Clarke was stunned, her mother was always such a logically-minded person, and to hear her talking in passions and risks was enough to make Clarke take a step back and really consider her words.

She sucked in a deep breath. “Mom, there’s somebody I need to tell you about..”

 

When Clarke walked through her front door later that afternoon, she noticed the hum of her shower running and the warm steam clouding up her hallway. She was making herself another pot of coffee when the sound of somebody clearing their throat behind her caused her to spin around, nearly dropping her mug.

Clarke was taken at the sight of Bellamy’s dew-covered muscles and his wet curls plastered against his forehead. He was wearing nothing but a towel slung low around his waist, his lips twisting into an irritated scowl.

“Well, well.. nice to see you too Clarke.” He said.

She gave him another once over. “So it looks like you found my shower- having trouble finding a shirt still, I see?”

Bellamy crossed his arms over his chest, ignoring her last comment. “Funny story- so I woke up in a _certain_ girl’s apartment this morning after a lovely night of _non-sex_ , only to find that she had ran out on me without so much as a text message or a note. Wouldn’t you say that’s a little rude?”

Clarke pressed her lips together, wincing. “Yeah, sorry about that..but you can’t actually be mad? I’m sure girls pulled that stunt on you all the time before you met Roma.”

Bellamy raised his eyebrow smugly, “Trust me sweetheart, any girl who slept with me was never in any hurry to run away.”

Clarke rolled her eyes. “Well I guess I’m not just any girl then, am I?”

Bellamy couldn't help but smirk, licking the moisture off his lips as he reached over her to pour himself another cup of coffee. Then he rested his elbows back on the counter, still making no move whatsoever to put any clothes on.

“I forgive you Princess, but only as long as you agree to trust me completely with your Birthday plans this evening. Fair warning- they may be a little.. _unconventional_.”

Clarke perked up a little, she hadn't actually expected him to make any real plans. Guys in the past would just throw together some ad-hoc movie or dinner reservations, topping it off with a generic card or gift from Target.

But then again- Bellamy wasn't a boyfriend, he was something else entirely...

“Okay..but what if some of my other friends want to go out?” Clarke asked.

He just chuckled. “Come on Clarke. The four of us are your only friends; which means that right now- your only friend is _me_.”

“God, that’s so depressing..” Clarke groaned.

Bellamy’s smile faded into a glare. “I’m going to pretend you didn't say that. Now go get ready, we have a 45 minute drive ahead of us.”

Clarke used her hangover as an excuse to press her forehead into the glass, gazing out the window of Bellamy’s Jeep. She watched as the sharp, concrete lines of the city melted away, soon replaced by the rustling oaks and rolling hills of the countryside. She had no idea where Bellamy was taking her, and she could vaguely remember the way the highway dissolved into a single road, meandering through a path of dense evergreens and bright yellow corn fields that stretched on for miles.

“It’s weird how the colors are so different out here. So much warmer. “Clarke grazed her fingers over the glass, as if she could touch the scenery with her fingertips. “It’s not all dull and grey and colorless, like the city.”

Bellamy was sneaking glances at her out of the corner of her eyes, wishing he didn't need to keep his gaze so peeled on the road. For an area that was this desolate and far flung, the speed limits were tenuous and the animals had a reputation for flinging themselves into your path. But that was one of the beauties of living in Ohio- being able to live in the city, with only a short drive away to the more wooded and scenic country areas.

“You act like you've never come out this way before.” His tone was flat, trying to hide the affection in his voice.

“Actually I have.” Clarke murmured. “Even though I grew up in New York, I visited Ohio with my father when I was little- and we went on this weekend camping trip to Mohican one summer. I even have a scar on the inside of my thigh from falling off a broken canoe.” She laughed to herself, her blue eyes growing wistful. “My father waded through the water for nearly half a mile, carrying me in his arms.” She felt her heart swell at the memories, and then sink a moment later when the realization that her father was gone washed over her once again.

Bellamy was tempted to make a dirty joke about her scar, but quickly bit his tongue once he realized what was happening. Clarke never talked about her dad, _with anyone_. Even Finn had mentioned that he knew very little about her childhood, and yet somehow, here she was giving _him_ a glimpse into a very private corner of her world.

“Sounds like he really loved you Clarke. I’m really sorry you lost him.”

She looked at him, watching the way his mouth smiled softly but his gaze seemed distant, like his mind was far away. Clarke suddenly recalled that Bellamy’s childhood had been nothing like hers.

“You never had that, did you Bellamy?”

Bellamy stared silently ahead, a brief flicker of emotion playing behind his eyes. “I had my sister, and she had me. It’s not about how many people love you, all that matters is that you have the _right_ people love you. My parents would never have been right for me, but Octavia was. And that’s all that mattered.”

Clarke realized then that there was a lot more to Bellamy than she allowed herself to see. Bellamy’s kind of love was the kind that had to be earned, he didn't innately trust anybody. But to those he loved, he was fiercely loyal to the end.

“Is Roma _also_ right for you then?” She asked.

Bellamy’s jaw tightened just a little, and Clarke worried that she may have crossed a line. Perhaps they weren't close enough for her be prying..

His deep voice dropped to a whisper. “I thought so. Now I don’t know what to think.”

Clarke nodded, turning her head to the window once more. “I know exactly how you feel.”

The sun was beginning to turn a rusty orange hue in the sky, and Clarke wished she could re-create the coming sunset with her pastels.“Wherever we’re going, do you mind if we stop to watch the sunset?”

“Of course.” Bellamy gave her a wink- like maybe that was part of his plan all along.

“By the way, where the hell are you taking me? I don’t recognize any of this anymore… _wait_ ...are you planning on murdering me?” She pretended to gasp in mock horror. "You've finally decided you want the Nichelsen account all for yourself, and I’m the only thing standing in your way- So you’re dumping my body in the boonies! _A_ _ren't you!?”_

There was a playful glow in Clarke’s eyes that made Bellamy grin and shake his head. “Princess, if I was capable of murdering, you would have been dead a long time ago. Besides, it doesn’t count if I win by default, I only want things that I earn.” He glanced at her. “And who knows? Maybe I want you around more than I want the Nichelsen account.”

Clarke gasped for real this time, but her thoughts were cut off by the sudden feeling of the jeep veering off the main road and hurling down a small cobbled path through the woods. She gripped the sides of the car, holding on for dear life as the Jeep rumbled over stones and overgrown weeds, rolling past remnants of cracked concrete that hinted at something that may once have been a driveway.

“Sorry!” Bellamy shouted above the noise. “The terrain is rough here so I have to drive a little faster to avoid getting stuck, but we’re almost there!”

 

Once the Jeep rolled to a stop, Bellamy and Clarke found themselves standing in what appeared to have once been a parking lot settled deep in the woods...a million years ago. Much like the road coming in, the parking lot was a crater-like surface of damaged cement with wild brush and weeds bursting through it’s canyon-like cracks. Clarke could feel the anticipation building inside her, but she was still baffled as to what this place was. In front of them was a tall, steel reinforced fence- which other than being covered in rust- was still sturdy enough to keep animals..or people..at bay.

It was an unseasonably warm night, and Clarke studied her and Bellamy’s ragged jeans and old tee-shirts, now understanding why he had asked her to dress so casually. Still- she was trying to piece this whole thing together, but was ultimately coming up blank.

“Bellamy… care to explain yet?” Clarke’s voice was weary as she turned to see him pulling a small plastic bag from his jeep. “What’s that for?”

Bellamy let out an exasperated sigh. “You are so impatient! You know that? Now follow me.”

Clarke stomped her way behind him until they reached the fence, “I swear if you’re planning on murdering me Bellamy..”

He spun around and gripped her shoulders, “I _might_ actually if you keep pushing me! Okay here... _take this_.”

He yanked a camera out of the plastic bag and shoved it into her hands. “Now, I expect _a lot_  more sketches in that book of yours after all this.”

She blinked in confusion as Bellamy arched his eyebrow, a knowing grin tugging at his lips. He turned and  grabbed hold of a giant metal lock that was bolted by chains swinging around both doors. He flipped the lock over and punched a series of numbers into it before hearing a click and tugging it free. Clarke’s eyes settled on the bag as he withdrew one last thing from it’s contents, a bottle of champagne- dry brut.

Bellamy held up the champagne with that wicked glint in his eyes, and Clarke’s hands flew to her mouth. “My favorite!? Bellamy you shouldn’t have..”

  
“Just wait.” He placed  his palms on the metal doors, shoving them open as they screeched along the pavement on un-oiled hinges. “You haven’t seen _anything_ yet Princess.”

Once they gained some momentum, the massive doors finally rocked open, and the first thing Clarke saw was a sign. It was a towering metal sign that arched over their heads, it’s words so badly faded she could barely read it’s inscription. Broken and shattered light bulbs hung around the edges, and it had once been painted in a rainbow of colors that were now peeling into white gashes.

Everything went completely still around her, and some tiny voice in the back of her mind told her that she wasn’t prepared for what she was about to see. She could faintly hear Bellamy’s words coming from behind, whispering to her to walk forward and not to be afraid.

Clarke swallowed and took several long strides until the wall of overgrown bushes along both of sides of her opened up- and she gasped, her heart freezing inside her chest.

She and Bellamy were standing on the edge of an enormous, completely abandoned amusement park.

Clarke had to remind herself to keep breathing as she took it all in. Everywhere she looked she saw the rusted skeletons of roller coasters arcing and curving in the distance, carousels with decorated horses fractured into pieces and strewn about on the ground. There were rotting brick and wooden structures- old game stands and concession buildings- with their roofs caving inward and the support beams ravaged by termites. She noticed how everything was painted in dull and fading colors-purples and pinks and blues and yellows, all once so vivid, and reminiscent of a bright and vibrant era that was long since past.

It was the pinnacle of deterioration and undiscovered beauty that Clarke had always been searching for- with every haunted exploration and photograph and sketch that she collected in her portfolio, none compared to this. This place was still majestic in all it’s forgotten glory, she wanted to close her eyes and burn the images permanently into her memory. But then she realized- that’s why he brought her the camera…

It all made sense. The camera, Clarke's love for abandoned relics, coming near sunset for just the right lighting... He must have planned this idea the very moment he saw her sketch book the night before- and it was all at once the most thoughtful and overwhelming thing that anybody had ever done for her.

Clarke’s heart swelled and her eyes burned as she turned to see Bellamy, his dark eyes watching her in a captivated wonder as he bit his lip to keep his smile from splitting his face in two. He raised the champagne bottle in a solitary toast.

“Happy Birthday Princess.”

The next thing Clarke knew she was running to Bellamy, jumping into his arms and burying her face against the crook of his neck. He curled his arms tightly around her body, laughing and spinning her through the air as she released ecstatic squeals of joy and elated tears came trickling down her cheeks.

“Why Bellamy? Why?” She heard herself asking it over and over again until she was hushed by the sound of Bellamy’s deep, cavernous voice saying,

“Because I wanted you to be happy.”

He finally lowered her to the ground, and Clarke was reluctant to pull away from the comfortable space she had found between his neck and shoulder blade. He chuckled again, his dark eyes alight with amusement as he wiped the tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

“I really felt like I owed you this for all the hell I caused you.” As he spoke, Bellamy dipped his fingers mindlessly through the blonde waves of her hair. “You know, for always beating your sales numbers every month...”

Clarke suddenly scoffed and shoved him in the shoulder, biting back her own laughter. “And then you’re still such an ass..”

“Always.” Bellamy winked, the corners of his eyes creasing with happiness. “Now, are we going to stand around all damn night- or are you going to let me show you around this place?”

 

  
As they walked along the park's main path, frequently maneuvering around thick weeds and scattered debris, Clarke couldn't help but feel like they were the lone survivors in some sort of post-apocalyptic playground. She jumped around excitedly, snapping pictures of weathered clown heads with creepy grins and defunct rides that once tilted and whirled, and now lay in shambles in the tall grass. She made sure to capture the setting sun in the background of every shot, the blood-orange color of the sky perfectly framing the bizarre graveyard that surrounded them.

When Clarke inquired as to how Bellamy was able to get into the park, he finally admitted that he had worked there one summer when he was sixteen years old as a park attendant. It shut down the following season and had remained abandoned in the twelve years since.

"Twelve years?" Clarke peered around, scrutinizing the level of decay that more likely reflected decades of neglect.

"Remember that we're in an Ohio climate, Clarke. Anything left to rot through our arctic-style winters and humid summers is likely to corrode a hell of a lot faster. Anyways- this place is actually privately owned property still, the same family has owned it for generations- but they're always locked in legal disputes as to who inherits the land." He kicked at an old pop can with his foot. "So it just sits here and rots until they figure out what to do with it."

"I see.." Clarke nodded slowly, still sounding puzzled. "But how did you know the code to get in here?"

Bellamy shoved his hands in his pockets as they strolled past the broken-down Tea Cup rides. "Well I worked with the owner's grandson Tommy, and he and I actually ended up going to college together, believe it or not. So I called in a favor to him this morning." He said it so casually, as if it was no big deal to give her the best birthday gift of her life.

Clarke smiled to herself, wondering how she would ever repay him.

Bellamy gently placed his palm along the small of her back, guiding her down a path that led them to a row of Wild-Western themed buildings.

"This was my favorite section of the park- Ye Olde West we called it." He gazed fondly at the rotting, frontier-style gift shops as Clarke dashed ahead of him with her camera.

"These Western buildings are so cool..I love the way the wood's decay makes it look all the more authentic." Clarke stopped, turning suddenly to shout behind her, "Hey Bellamy, I just realized I never asked you what the name of this amusement park was!?"

"What? You mean you couldn't read that thousand-year old sign?" He cocked his head sarcastically and jogged to her side, keeping pace with her as they headed further down the path. "This park was called Ark Gardens, and in it's hay-day it was one of the best amusement parks in the mid-west..pretty crazy huh?"

"I believe it.."Clarke whispered, her eyes growing wider yet again as they stepped into another giant clearing.

This new part, which Clarke quickly learned was an outdoor fun-house, was littered with colorful and chaotic looking structures- slanted and cartoonish buildings splattered with graffiti, derailed animal-coaster cars, and one extremely daunting clown-mouth tunnel with eerie, yellowish eyes and a wide, maniacal grin.

"Damn." Clarke uttered in astonishment. "This place is fantastic..but also.. _incredibly terrifying?_ " She bit her lip nervously as Bellamy slung his arm around her neck- the heat from his body exuding through his tee-shirt already working to soothe her nerves. 

"Well it's not your birthday unless you've been scared shit-less by a giant clown tunnel, right?" Bellamy flashed her a teasing grin, leaning into her ear. "But don't worry Princess- I'll keep you safe. And also.." He held up the bottle of champagne and took a giant swig, wiping his lips with the back of his knuckles. "We have a little liquid courage to get us through." He handed her the bottled as she laughed, throwing back her head and feeling the warm, fizzy liquid coating her throat.

As they stepped through the clown tunnel they both slid into a comfortable silence, Bellamy suddenly hyper aware of how closely Clarke was staying beside him. He stretched his fingers in the air and toyed with the idea of holding her hand, but his arms stayed glued at his side. Everywhere they went, Clarke's camera snapped and flashed through the eerie red haze that the sunset sky was casting over the colorful and animated ruins.

Even Bellamy was amazed in a place like this- a place that was once so bursting with kinetic energy and life- now stood so motionless and frozen in time. As they wandered around the lonely, forgotten park he couldn't help but feel like it belonged to them- that every toppled bumper car and every decaying merry-go-round had been patiently waiting to be discovered, to be seen for the memories and laughter it once held- not just an abandoned garbage dump.

But what amazed him most was how he couldn't tear his eyes away from the beautiful girl beside him, watching in quiet adoration as her blue eyes lit up with excitement at every artifact she could find. There was a deep ache in his chest as he reminded himself that she was in love with some one else. And supposedly- so was he.

It wasn't until they were walking under the old, rusted fossils of a roller coaster when Clarke finally spoke again.

"So you were a park attendant here huh?"

Bellamy chuckled, "It sounds dorky I know, but I actually loved it here. It was the one summer where Octavia and I got to stay with my aunt out in the country- probably the happiest summer of my childhood- or technically adolescence." He shot Clarke a sly grin, "And..I actually lost my virginity here...so you could say this place sort of made me into a man."

Clarke's mouth dropped open, "You're joking! Where?"

He pointed to the far side of park. "The old-fashioned car ride. She and I snuck into one of the old cars while it was in maintenance and...yeah."

Clarke gasped, pushing his shoulder playfully. "You're awful!" She shrieked. "But I do have to admit.." She glanced him over with the corner of her eyes. "I can picture you in one of those blue theme park polos and nerdy white khakis, and I'd have to say you'd be pretty darn cute. It probably would have done it for me at that age." She tossed him a wink as Bellamy's face cracked into smile.

"Oh yeah? Well I might still have that uniform if you're interested Princess.." He wiggled his eyebrows as Clarke blushed a deep shade of red.

They were approaching an ominous structure that was blocking their path, it was nearly 8 feet tall and made entirely of broken mirrors facing one another and forming corridors.

"Bellamy, it's a mirror maze! This would be such a cool shot!" Clarke sprang forward as Bellamy jogged closely behind, shaking his head in amusement. Her camera flashes danced off the glass walls, its cracked and broken surfaces now no more reflective than a murky lake.

She slowly lowered her camera, suddenly intrigued by her wavy and distorted reflection- her hips blown out to the sides and her head narrowed into a tiny sphere.  She caught her laughter in her palm. "Oh my..I look ridiculous." Bellamy stepped behind her, his own body twisted wildly out of proportion.

"Whoa. We're a hot couple Princess. How did I never notice this before!?"

Clarke rolled her eyes. "We are  _not_ a couple.

Bellamy ignored the gnawing feeling in his chest as he snorted at her. "Yeah, well maybe if I had worn my theme park outfit for you, I could have won you over in our first month at the office."

"Please." She waved her hand dismissively, still admiring their odd-looking clones in the mirrors. "You were too busy hating me back then even."

Bellamy sucked in a deep breath, a rare vulnerability reflecting back against his face. "Well actually..that's not true. Before the whole Nichelsen account debacle went down..I sort of was _into_ you."

Clarke froze. "What?! There's no way!"

Bellamy sighed, as if he really didn't care to divulge any further. "Remember our first Office Happy Hour at McDougal's?"

 Clarke's brow creased as she strained to remember, soon recalling how she and Bellamy had actually shared a nice moment that night. They had barely spoken a civil word to each other during their training, but that night at McDougal's he had walked up behind her and asked to buy her a drink. They eventually split off from the rest of the office, challenging each other to a game of darts as she sipped on her gin and tonic and he gulped down an IPA. She remembered how they had teasingly called each other names while the other was trying to shoot, Bellamy's lips pressing together in irritation each time she screwed up his aim. But his eyes didn't hold the same enmity for her back then, and even his glare wasn't convincing as he always laughed immediately after.

At the end of the night Clarke was too tipsy to drive, and Bellamy had actually offered to take her home. But Clarke- not knowing exactly what that might lead to- had thanked him but opted for a cab ride instead.

The truth was- Clarke was afraid that in her inebriated state she likely wouldn't be able to resist her dark-haired coworker with the strong jaw and the fearless smile...

She mused to herself now, wondering how her mind must have blocked out such an unusually pleasant night. "Wow. I actually do remember."

Bellamy's hands rested on the back of her shoulders, his eyes falling to the ground. "Yeah, I was pretty crushed when you turned me down."

"Well I'm sure you were just trying to sleep with me." Clarke insisted.

He smirked, but more innocuously this time. "I'm not going to lie and pretend like it hadn't crossed my mind... But honestly, I wouldn't have tried anything that night."

Clarke was puzzled, "I don't understand, then why were you upset?"

Bellamy grew silent for a minute, his eyes coming up to meet hers in the mirror. "Because I actually liked you, and it felt a lot like rejection." He confessed. 

It was Clarke's turn to grow silent, and Bellamy could feel the rush of panic as he quickly tried to redeem himself. "But hey, thank God we ended up _hating_ each other instead, right?" 

"Yeah.." Clarke muttered softly, her voice sounding uncertain. "Weird how much things have changed since that night at the bar."

His fingers came up to brush along the back of her neck as he whispered, "Yeah. Weird..."

Clarke's eyelids fell shut at the sensation his fingers were inducing inside her, the way his warm breath coursed over her ear. And it wasn't exactly helping that the mirrored corridor was boxing them in so closely..

She cleared her throat. "We better keep moving, the sun's going down." Clarke turned and walked swiftly out of the maze, Bellamy falling behind as he mentally cursed himself over and over..                   

 

The sun was dropping dangerously low when Clarke caught sight of  a Ferris wheel standing in the distance. It's cars were hanging off the hinges and it's paint was faded into a swampy yellow-but she immediately fell in love with it. Noticing the way Clarke's gaze lingered in it's direction, Bellamy lightly took her wrist and led them over to one of the only intact cars that was hanging low enough to rest on the ground.

Clarke and Bellamy climbed inside the Ferris wheel car, the tiny space making them practically crush their sides together.

"This is...cozy?" Bellamy furrowed his eyebrows as he wriggled against her side, finally relaxing and resting his arm into a comfortable position around her shoulders.

Clarke was finding it a little harder to breath, and it wasn't only because they were wedged in like sardines...

They sat together and watched the clouds drifting through the scarlet-grey sky as they passed the champagne bottle between them. Clarke could feel the alcohol warming her stomach, while the way Bellamy's thumb grazing gently over her shoulder brought a different kind of warmth to her chest.

"Thank you Bellamy." She whispered. "I can't thank you enough for giving me this."

Bellamy didn't say anything at first, and Clarke knew he didn't need to. The way his eyes were peaceful as they stared at the sky, his black curls falling in messy tendrils over his brow as a genuine smile stretched across his lips. He looked truly happy, and the sight of it made him all the more breathlessly handsome in her eyes. That's when Clarke felt the words lingering on her tongue; words she had been holding back for too long that now came rushing out of her mouth.. 

"I wish Finn and Roma weren't coming back tomorrow." 

The air left her lungs as Bellamy tensed beside her, the foreign sound of him drawing in a ragged breath made Clarke bite her lip, wondering if she'd made a mistake. But the next thing she knew she was tremoring as she felt his fingertips come up to brush along her jaw, finally forcing her chin up to look at him.

Bellamy was close now, too close- his dark eyes burning into her as they traced every line and curve of her face, his full lips parting slightly as Clarke's heart went still in her chest.

"Clarke.." He breathed, his deep voice cracking in his throat as his eyes focused on hers. "You really need to stop me now if you don't want me to kiss you."

She could feel the heat pulsing through her, and somehow she managed to whisper- "Stop." 

A hint of pain flashed across Bellamy's eyes, but still-he didn't move away, and neither did she.

In fact, Bellamy only tugged her closer, deciding to listen to Clarke's eyes, not her words, as her gaze flickered down to his lips in a moment of weakness. The next thing she knew, his fingers were weaving into her curls again and tangling at the back of her head as he drew her in closer, and Clarke had no choice but to close her eyes and surrender to Bellamy's lips crashing into hers.

Clarke melted into him as he moved against her with a seem-less strength,  every flicker of gasp between them only allowing Bellamy to deepen the kiss even further, his lips constantly shifting between a desperate, hungry passion and a slower, tantalizing rhythm that was enough to make her mind go blank.

Clarke couldn't let herself  _think_  for even a moment- because all she could see, feel, or taste now was _Bellamy_ as the pain they had endured together disappeared under his kiss, drifting further away the deeper she buried her fingers into his chaotic black curls. This was what she wanted right now, and she needed him the way she needed oxygen in her lungs and blood pumping through her veins..

Bellamy's heart was hammering in his chest as he gripped Clarke's waist and pulled her on top of him to straddle around his body, his hands anchoring on her hips while she grinded smoothly against his lap. Clarke smiled as she heard the deep, rusty sound of Bellamy moaning into her mouth- his lips still never once leaving hers as his hands roamed every inch of her, dipping beneath the hem of her shirt and trailing his fingers up her skin...

 

And then a vision of Finn and Roma flickered under her eyelids, causing her heart to come crashing down into her stomach.

Clarke suddenly tore her mouth away, Bellamy's silent plea of " _No..._ " echoing against her lips as she ripped herself free from his grasp and jumped back to her feet.

 "What..what are we doing!?" Clarke spluttered, frantically pacing and scraping her hands over her face. "We can't....this is  _wrong..._ what are we.."

She looked at him. Bellamy's eyes were glazed over in a startled daze, his dark curls were wild and his lips were swollen and red from the heated pressure of her own..

 _What have I done...._ She thought.

But Clarke didn't wait for his reaction, she spun around and took off, praying that her legs were actually moving even though she could barely feel them, and hoping that they could take her far enough away that she wouldn't just  _want_ him so badly.

She didn't look back as she ran away, and she didn't hear his footsteps either. She couldn't tell if she was relieved or destroyed by the fact that he wasn't following her, and she wondered where she would run to, this far out in the middle of nowhere Ohio..

She stumbled on the mirror maze, and not really knowing any way around it, she darted inside and twisted her way through the convoluted mirrors, feeling like they were closing in on her with every step she took- making sure to keep her eyes peeled ahead since she was too ashamed to look at her own reflection.

Clarke was turning one of the last corners when suddenly- a tan figure stepped in front of her, his messy hair and his violently dark eyes emerging from the shadows as he stood panting. 

"Clarke! What the hell!?" His deep voice was furious and full of pain as she slid to a halt.

"No Bellamy!" She snapped. "That was wrong! What happened back there was all wrong, and we need to be away from each other right now!"

Bellamy sighed and leaned his full weight against the mirror, still blocking her path. "And where _exactly_ are you going to go? Are you planning to hitch-hike your way back from the middle of nowhere?"

Clarke elevated her chin, "Maybe. Because right now, that option sounds a lot safer than staying with you."

"Seriously?" Bellamy raised his brow and took a step closer. "You need to stop this, Clarke. You can't pretend like nothing happened back there."

Clarke took a deep breath, even him being this near to her now, his body practically hovering over her in the confined maze, it made it hard for her to think rationally.

"Nothing happened back there Bellamy! We're just upset about Roma and Finn's affair, and we were just using each other for comfort. So let's not kid ourselves and pretend like it meant anything more."

Bellamy looked shocked, Clarke could see the way his eyes widened and his jaw tightened and shifted to the side as he moved even closer.

"Is that what you think this is? Need I remind you that _Finn_ is the one fucking another girl- _my fiance'_ by the way- and yet you still think that it's  _me_ who is using you?"

Clarke froze, because she wasn't even sure how to answer that, so she cleared her throat, "Yes...yes I do. I think that was _both_ of us using each other." She ran her fingers through her hair, giving him a hard look. "I mean come on, Bellamy. You and I have hated each other since the beginning- and now what? Now we're suddenly best friends because we're both miserable about being cheated on? Life doesn't work like that."

Bellamy narrowed his eyes, his gaze raking over her lasciviously as he reached up a finger to trace down the side of her neck- the act feeling almost possessive as it trailed down and in between her breasts.  Clarke shivered.

"I'm sorry if this all wasn't a part of your plan  _Princess._ Trust me, I wasn't expecting it either. But like it or not, this is not just some coping strategy of mine... _I want this Clarke."_

She felt her breath hitch in her throat. Bellamy was nearly close enough to kiss, she could practically count the freckles grazing his cheeks, but instead he held back just enough to make Clarke feel the flicker of desire igniting inside her. With his face only inches away, there was a stubbornness and a longing in his dark gaze that slowly melted away Clarke's resolve. She buckled too easily, and she knew it was because she wanted this just as much as he did.

The mood shifted somehow as the fight rushed out of her, and Clarke looked up at him with cautious blue eyes and whispered, "It's late. I don't think we should drive all the way home..." She cleared her throat nervously. "Is there a .. _motel.._ or anything around here?"

Bellamy swallowed hard, nodding as his hands clutched at her waist and softly slid down her hips. "There's a motel just off 202."

"Take me there." She breathed. 

"Yes ma'am.." His eyes darkened. "If we can make it there that is..."

And then Bellamy's lips were on hers, and he was pulling her flush  against him as she curled her arms around his neck. She let out a tiny moan as Bellamy forced her lips apart and kissed her more deeply, his hands sliding down to grip around her thighs and pulling her legs up around his waist. He backed them up against one of the mirrors, the glass practically cracking beneath Clarke's tee-shirt as he pinned her against it- her hips rocking into him. He groaned and Clarke smiled with satisfaction as she turned her head to whisper in his ear.

"Bellamy you are _not_ having sex with me in this damn mirror maze."

He let out a heavy sigh and laughed against her lips, leaning in to taste her once more before whispering back, "Whatever you wish Princess."

He reluctantly set her down on her feet, and once Clarke steadied herself, smoothing her hair and straightening her shirt, Bellamy's lips curled into a grin and he offered her his hand.

"Come on beautiful, let's get to that motel..."

As they walked back to his Jeep hand in hand, Clarke tried desperately not to think about what would happen tomorrow.

Because all she wanted to acknowledge- was the way her body buzzed with anticipation at what was about to happen _tonight_...

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I'm a little late on posting this, my week has been so crazy! Anyways- thank you sooo much for all of your incredible feedback and I hope you enjoy this next chapter!
> 
> As always, please leave comments and let me know what you think! :) And thanks again for following the story! I'm expecting possibly two more chapters to come.

Life isn’t like the movies.

 

Theoretically- Clarke and Bellamy should have been hopelessly caught up in the moment- finding a picturesque motel and sweeping into their room with Clarke clutched in his arms, Bellamy laying her across the bed and making sweet, passionate love to her...

That was the plan anyway.

 _Instead_ \- the weather immediately turned on them as soon as night fell, drenching them in a monsoon of rain as they darted from the Jeep into the tiny, seedy-looking motel near the interstate.

They stood awkwardly in the lobby as they waited for their key, Clarke feeling like a drowned rat as her wet, blonde curls glued to her forehead and her mascara dripped down her cheeks. Bellamy pulled the look off much better than she did, with his curls glistening and his shirt clinging tighter to his chest than ever before.

The foul-smelling man behind the counter was wearing a stained tank top with tattered overalls, his eyes continually drawn to Clarke’s chest as her soaked clothes left very little to the imagination. Bellamy cleared his throat, giving the man a look of warning as he paid him in cash and accepted the keys to room number seven.

As they swung open the door to their room, Clarke’s face scrunched in disappointment. The room itself was badly outdated- furnished with aqua colored wallpaper and tacky brown furniture that was worn and peeling around the edges. Bellamy cringed and led her inside, flinching as the creaky door slammed shut behind them.

“Well this place is... _quaint_.” He snorted, “You think they rent this room by the hour?”

Clarke tossed her purse on the ground, turning to give Bellamy a half-hearted glare. “Very funny.”

 

They lapsed back into a silence, the uneasy tension stretching between them as they stared at the bed- a taunting reminder of why they had come there. But Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if Bellamy was having second thoughts- his dark eyes were suddenly elusive as his posture stiffened and he did everything possible to avoid her gaze.

Clarke finally sighed, “I uh..I think I should take a shower. I’m pretty soaked.”

Bellamy perked up a little, his eyes flitting to her face. “Oh..okay. Do you want…” He scratched his head nervously. “I mean- should I... _join_ you?”

It was odd seeing Bellamy like this, his brutally smug attitude was practically his trademark-and without it he seemed so exposed- so _human_. She couldn’t help but wonder if he was like this with Roma too...but the thought made her stomach clench as she shook it from her mind.

“Actually you can just wait here. I won’t be long.”

Bellamy’s shoulders sank, with either relief or disappointment- she couldn’t really tell, but Clarke avoided his eyes as she padded past him and pulled the bathroom door shut.

She carefully peeled off her wet clothes, laying them neatly over a rusted towel rack as she climbed into the shower. She turned the faucet and let the hot water drum over her skin, her body melting into the mist as her lungs sucked in the warm steam- doing wonders to ease her racing mind.

Clarke was in trouble, and she knew it. The fear that she was falling in too deep had started looming over her head on the car ride there, and she couldn’t help but notice the same apprehension building in Bellamy’s eyes.

Clarke told herself they were only seeking solace in each other- that’s all this was. They were both being cheated on- and they both just needed an escape from the pain.

But how had the mood shifted so suddenly now? Somewhere between the abandoned park and the backwoods motel- they had gone from roaming hands and heady desire- to being too terrified to look each other in the eye. But she knew that shouldn’t surprise her. Up until yesterday they had poured so much time and energy into hating each other- that maybe this was all just a feeble attempt at nursing their own wounds. Not to mention they were both _very much_ engaged to other people…(even if those other people were just as likely having sex with _each other_ at that very moment..)

She took a deep breath, knowing she couldn’t hide in that shower forever, and some part of her still craved to be close to him...a feeling that was instantly pummeled with guilt.

Clarke reluctantly stepped out, wrapping a towel around her body and tightly cinching it above her breasts, the cool draft of the room prickling at her skin as she opened the door to face the music.

Bellamy was seated shirtless on the edge of the bed, the post-rain dew still adhering to his muscles as his head ticked up to meet her gaze. Clarke could feel her face growing warm as Bellamy’s eyes scanned over her, reminding her of the first time he’d seen her in nothing but a towel. “Hey.” He muttered.

Clarke drummed her fingers against the bedside table, shifting her feet nervously as she lingered near the doorway. “Hey.”

The air between them was heavy as they maintained their distance- but Clarke was surprised to see it had done nothing to quell the heat in Bellamy’s gaze- especially now that he was finally looking at her again.

 _Staring_ at her, actually.

Clarke always knew he had a penchant for studying her- analyzing her every tick and movement in a way of sizing up his competition- but this time felt different. His dark eyes were much softer now as they watched her, trying to make sense of the confused girl in front of him.

Finally he held out his hand, “Come here Princess...” Bellamy whispered, his voice low and rusty as it drew her closer. She was surprised when his hands gently gripped at her waist and he leaned in to press his forehead against her stomach, his eyes falling shut as Clarke instinctively ran her fingers through his shiny, wet curls. He stayed there for a moment, his bare shoulders rising and falling in a heavy sigh as he whispered against her towel-

“You’re having second thoughts, aren’t you?”

A faint tear made its way down Clarke’s cheek, a thousand more catching in her throat as she sighed. “I’m so confused Bellamy, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore. I just... _don’t know_.”

Bellamy was quiet, his thumbs dropping below her towel to trace lightly over the inside of her thighs. He sucked in a deep breath before sitting up again. “It’s okay, maybe we should talk first.”

Even the way he said _first_ sent a shiver up Clarke’s spine, implying that something was bound to happen _after_...

Her heart fluttered as Bellamy’s hands moved to her hips, gently pulling her down into his lap as he folded her against him, bringing her face level with his.

“Tell me what you’re thinking Princess.”

Clarke bit her lip, trying not to concentrate on how warm his body was as he wrapped his arms around her, a feeling she was getting far too comfortable with.

“I’m just worried…” She began, the comfort of his touch drawing out her fears far too easily.  “Maybe we jumped to conclusions about Finn and Roma. What if what we saw between them was only short lived- and it’s already over?” Her brows knitted together, her blue eyes filling with hope. “Do you think that’s possible?”

There was a tiny flicker of sadness in him, something she knew wasn’t meant to be seen. “Clarke...it was only last that week we saw them together..”

She groaned, realizing how ridiculous she sounded. “I know. I know it’s just wishful thinking and I’m probably just being an idiot...but what if I’m right? And then you and I have already... _you know_.”

 Bellamy swallowed hard, his jaw tightening at her words as a painful look flashed behind his eyes. Reality was dawning on him, and the idea that she was still thinking of Finn weighed heavy on his features.

 He lowered his gaze as his fingers came up to trace slowly along her collarbone, making her breath catch at the lightness of it. A touch like this may have usually felt protective or even possessive coming from Bellamy- but now it felt cautious, filled with a mournful acceptance that she didn’t belong to him...and she never did.

 He brought his hands back to her face, his deep voice breaking as he fixed his eyes on hers. “Clarke...I don’t know all the answers. Part of me wants to lie to you, to tell you that you’re wrong about them so you’ll stop feeling so guilty, but I don’t think that would be fair to you. So if it’ll make you breathe any easier, then nothing has to happen here tonight.” His lips curled into something of a resigned, aching smile. “Nothing has to happen with us.. _at all_.”

 Something sank inside Clarke as she uttered out a barely audible, “Thank you.”

 But then it struck her, the look on Bellamy’s face as he gently rolled her off of him, watching as he stood and walked away from her to lean his palms against a table, bowing his head and squeezing his eyes shut- she would almost say he looked _heartbroken_.

 But she knew that was impossible, because that’s not what this was.

 

As Bellamy hung his head, his hands gripping the edge of the table, every bone inside his body ached. He couldn’t believe how much this hurt, and he hadn’t realized he had let himself get so close to her- so close that her words and her obvious love for Finn was enough to cut him so deeply. Some part of him wished they could go back to just being spiteful co-workers again, the barriers that their mutual hate had provided him had been enough to keep his distance from her- to ignore his feelings that he never wanted to admit were there from the start. From the very first time he saw those wide, innocent eyes and those wavy blonde curls...

 And then he thought of Roma. “Dammit.” He whispered. Because that still hurt him too.

 Bellamy pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, straightening up. “Let’s get some sleep.” He said quietly.

 He could feel her eyes following him as he walked to the other side of the room to close the curtains and shut off one of the lamps- the whole time purposely avoiding her gaze.

 “Bellamy...I’m really sorry…”

 He shook his head sternly, “Don’t be Clarke, you have nothing to be sorry about. This is all my fault.” The familiar coldness and sarcastic tone was seeping back in now. “Besides, this was just about sex anyways, It’s not worth losing our fiancee’s over, _right_?”

 “Yeah but…” She trailed off, and he bristled at the obvious pity in her voice.

 And the fact that she didn't deny that this was just about sex- that really set him off. He turned to face her dead on.

 “I said, don’t _worry_ about it Clarke.” He arched his brow and cocked his head to the side, his deep voice suddenly sounding like a knife dragging across her skin. “Honestly though, I should be apologizing to _you_ \- seeing as how I’ve just been using you as a distraction this whole time.” He stepped closer, his hard gaze sweeping her face as he hovered above her. “It’s not like I _love_ you or anything.”

 

And just like that, he was back to being the selfish, cocky bastard that she’d always known. Clarke looked appalled as she stood to meet his gaze, the pure hatred oozing now from her piercing blue eyes. “Good.” She growled, “Because I could never, _ever_ , love someone like you.”

 He knew he had it coming, but it still felt like a dagger had been plunged straight through his heart. He swallowed as he fought the urge to stumble backwards from the sheer force of her words. But he kept his jaw tight, his face an emotionless mask of indifference as he leaned into her. “Thank God. At least we agree on something.”

 She narrowed her eyes at him, her hands instinctively clutching at the towel around her chest. Bellamy’s face faltered as his gaze dropped to her plump, red lips, and his blood ran cold when he imagined Finn’s mouth on them.

 He turned his head from her, not willing to torture himself any longer. But it was that moment that something small and shiny caught his eye laying on the floor next to her purse.

 Bellamy’s eyebrows creased with confusion as he walked away from her, crouching down to pick up the fallen object. He rolled it between his fingers- it was a tiny unicorn statue made from welded metal, and he couldn’t help but think that it looked all too familiar.

 “Bellamy, what are you doing?! Give me that!” She rushed to his side, taking a swipe at the object as he stood up, but he pulled it away from her at the last second.

 “Clarke, where the _hell_ did you get this?”

 “It must have fallen out of my purse, just give it back!” She swiped at it again, but Bellamy’s arm shot out to hold her back.

 “This is from Finn _isn’t_ it?” He accused.

 Clarke sighed, rolling her eyes, “Yes, as a matter of fact it is. But so what? It’s not like you care.”

 Bellamy’s jaw clenched, “When did he give this to you?” It was a demand, not a question.

 Clarke could feel herself fuming, “Fuck you Bellamy! I don’t owe you an explanation.” She took a step closer. “But since you’re simply _dying_ to know- he gave it to me after our first month of dating, right after he told me he loved me for the first time.” Just like that, the anger drained from her face, replaced by a wistful sadness. “It was supposed to remind me that he would always love me and was always thinking of me, so I keep it with me..”

 Bellamy’s dark eyes burned into her as he nearly crushed the tiny statue in his fist. “Well Clarke, just in case you thought you were special to him... _you’re not_.” He slammed the metal piece back down in her hand. “Because he gave the _same_ damn thing to Roma.” He scoffed, turning away.

 “What…” Clarke blinked, her face turning pale.

 “You heard me Princess. She sleeps with that exact unicorn statue every night next to her bed. She told me it was sent to her by her grandmother shortly after we started dating, It’s basically been there from the start.” He huffed out an angry chuckle. “And unless you think she’s fucking her grandmother too, I think it’s safe to say Finn gave it to her- for the exact same reason he gave it to you. At the exact same time.”

 Clarke stood frozen, an icy coldness filling her veins. “Oh my God...you don’t think that means…”

 Bellamy swung around to face her again, his hands stanced on his hips as his eyebrows raised at her. “That they’ve been playing us this whole time? That they’ve been fucking each other right from the very beginning?” Then he was back in her face again, his fury turning his eyes black. “Yeah, I'd say that’s _exactly_ what it means Princess.”

 He had spit the words viciously at her, but he immediately wished he hadn't as he watched Clarke’s face slowly transforming to stone beneath him. She took a step back, shaking her head at him in utter disgust and revulsion. “Then they can both go to hell. And so can _you_.”

 His heart stopped. The color drained from his face as Bellamy stood gaping at her. He was motionless as she turned and stormed off into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her.

 A second later Bellamy’s legs buckled as he fell to his knees on the cheap, motel carpet. He clasped his hands over his face, cursing this night, cursing Finn and Roma for cheating on them all along. But most of all he cursed himself for the way he had treated Clarke.

 “I’m sorry…” He whispered into his hands through clenched teeth, knowing that she wouldn't be able to hear him.

Clarke stood in front of the bathroom mirror, her hands leaning on the sink as she watched her eyes filling with tears. Nothing made sense to her anymore, and nothing even mattered. So many things were colliding in her brain all at once that she felt like her head might explode- the vision of Finn and Roma together mixed with the cruel, unfeeling way Bellamy had treated her- it was all too much. She was tired of feeling so much.

 And suddenly she just wanted to feel nothing at all, she wanted to make it all float away on a blissful cloud of numbness- and when she heard Bellamy’s voice calling for her outside the bathroom door, her eyes glazed over with a steely determination.

 

Bellamy had been knocking for several minutes now, calling her name with no response, or even so much as a sound coming from the girl locked inside. About ten minutes of silence passed, and he finally slumped against the door, feeling defeated. This was all his fault, he had taken out his anger at this whole horrible, fucked up situation on her- the person who deserved it the least. And he knew he definitely deserved the hatred she undoubtedly felt for him now. He remembered how he’d called her a distraction, and his stomach churned at the thought.

 “Clarke..” he groaned. “Please come out of there.” His deep voice pleaded with her again. He was desperate to make things right with her, and he only hoped that he wasn't too late this time. “I acted like an asshole- I know- But I’ll do anything to make it up to you. Please.. just come out.” He sighed and closed his eyes, knowing he never deserved to hear her voice again.

  

“Anything?” he finally heard her reply. Bellamy straightened up, turning to grip his palms against the wood- his forehead pressing into the door that stood between them.

 “Anything.” he breathed against it, praying that she could hear him.

 Just then he heard the door unlock and the knob turn, and he took several steps back, biting back a relieved smile.

 But that smile quickly faded when Clarke emerged, her features drawn into a hopeful expression as she loosened her grip on her towel and let it unravel from around her, falling into a pile at her feet.

 Bellamy froze, every muscle in his body going rigid as he took in the sight of a naked Clarke. He swallowed as his eyes raked over her breasts...her hips..her milky skin that would look so flawless next to his..

 He stopped himself, forcing his eyes back to her face. “Clarke..what are you doing? I think we already established this isn’t a good idea...”

 Clarke took a step forward as Bellamy moved another one back, bumping him up against the edge of the bed.

 “That was before. But everything’s changed now.” She said calmly.

 He shook his head, steeling himself against the desire welling up inside of him. The urge to reach out and touch her was stronger than ever. “No it hasn't. And you’re still going to regret this in the morning, I _can’t_ do that to you.”

 Clarke sighed. “I already regret everything Bellamy, and everything already hurts. I just need you to help me forget the pain.”

 Bellamy’s heart sank at that, and he wondered whether she was seeing Finn’s face now or his own. But her next words were like a vice squeezing around his chest.

 “Bellamy…” Her gaze was filled with resolve as she reached up and placed her hand on his cheek. “You said you would do anything...well I’m telling you that I _need_ this. I _need_ _you_.”

 

Him. She had said his name, and said she needed _him_. Not Finn.

 

He forced his arms to stay glued to his sides as she trailed a finger down the planes of his stomach, dipping below the waistband of his jeans. Bellamy's breath caught in his throat and his jaw clenched, his will power slowly breaking as Clarke stared up at him with hungry, needy eyes.

 He furrowed his brows, “Clarke..” he breathed. “Are you _sure_ you really want this?”

 “I want this.” She insisted, her lips tugging into a brazen smile that made Bellamy’s heart double in speed.

 Because fight this as he may, Bellamy knew that _he_ wanted this more than anything. And then suddenly all of his thoughts were silenced when she lowered herself to her knees in front of him. He felt her mouth planting soft kisses along the edge of his boxers, his hardness pressing against his jeans as she unbuttoned them and dragged them smoothly down his hips.

 Bellamy’s eyes grew wide, and then they fell shut the moment he felt her warm lips wrapping around him, and his mind went blank with the pleasure. He groaned as her tongue glossed over his most sensitive areas, her mouth moving in a delicate rhythm that drew a painful sigh from deep in his chest.

 But she hadn't gone down on him for more than four seconds before he was stopping her, her eyes meeting his in confusion as he gripped around her arms and gently lifted her back her to her feet.

 Bellamy exhaled sharply and rested his forehead against hers, shaking his head. “ _No_. Not like that.”

 Clarke blinked, almost feeling rejected before his deep, breathy voice cut her off. “It’s not that I wouldn't _love_ you doing that..” He grinned against her ear as he leaned in to whisper. “I just can’t kiss you when you’re all the way down there.”

 Clarke’s heart fluttered and a warmness spread through her as Bellamy bent down to capture her lips with his.

 Suddenly the numbness she had craved so desperately drifted away, replaced by a feeling that was much, much stronger. And when Bellamy’s muscular arms wrapped around her, picking her up and cradling her beneath him as he lowered her down onto the bed with one smooth movement- the reasons why Clarke was doing this suddenly weren’t so clear to her.

 Bellamy leaned down to teasingly trace his tongue along the inside of her lips, parting them as he deepened the kiss with a heady, wanting pressure. Clarke moaned and arched against him as he lowered the full length of his naked body onto hers. He moved his mouth down her neck as his hands slid over her stomach and cupped at her breasts, Clarke’s eyes rolling back at the feeling of his hot breath coursing over her skin as he lowered to graze his tongue along her nipple. She dug her teeth into her bottom lip, biting back another moan as an amused smirk tugged at Bellamy’s lips.

He shifted above her, bringing his face back to hers. Clarke was mesmerized by Bellamy’s splash of perfect freckles across his cheeks, the way he looked so unguarded as he gazed at her through the black curls falling across his brow.

 

As Bellamy leaned back in, she softly pleaded something against his lips that she never dreamed she would say-

 “Bellamy...just for tonight...can you pretend like you love me?”

 He froze above her, and Clarke’s breath hitched in her chest.

 Bellamy pulled back just enough for Clarke to see a vulnerability in his dark eyes as they searched hers. His thumb came up to gently brush across her lips as he whispered-

“I’m not pretending a damn thing, because I already do.”

 Then Bellamy came down to capture her lips once more as he finally sank inside of her, her moans swallowed up in his kiss.

 

He moved in her, slowly and deeply at first, their chests heaving and his fingers laced between hers the entire time, not letting her slip away from him when a wave of pleasure rolled her head to the side and he greedily nudged her mouth back to his. Clarke dug her nails into his back as his pace was building, and Bellamy’s deep groan rippled through her, his breath coming out in short bursts while his lips moved more urgently against hers.

 Then Clarke caught a hint of his devious grin, and she squealed as he suddenly picked her up from the bed, wrapping her legs tightly around his hips as he moved them to the table in the corner. He sat her on top and immediately began driving back into her, this new angle hitting her so deeply that she literally bit back a chorus of screams.

 “Come for me Princess.” He breathed in her ear, and the heated sensation of his lips dragging across her jaw, the way his tan, broad chest angled against hers as he moved in a perfect rhythm inside of her, it wasn’t long until Bellamy was pushing her over the edge.

 She cried out his name, and the sound was like music to his ears as Clarke unraveled in his arms, and he had to catch her head as the final wave of orgasm sent her sprawling backwards on the table.

 With one final thrust Bellamy collapsed against her, his arms still supporting her weight as their heavy breathing slowed to a steady pace.

 

When he finally found the strength to carry her to the bed, they both lay on their backs in a blissful silence, their curls glued to the sweat on their foreheads as they panted for air.

 Clarke’s eyes finally opened, her body still languid and basking in the warmth of her afterglow as she turned her head, meeting Bellamy's eyes. His mouth slowly drew into a lazy smile as he leaned in and pressed his lips to her forehead.

 He wanted to tell her that he had been waiting to do that, that she was everything he wanted and he couldn't imagine his life without her now. But when he opened his mouth to say the words, he was silenced by her voice drifting off to sleep, whispering out a barely audible. “Thank you Bellamy...” And then her eyes falling shut.

 He felt a flicker of worry pulse through him. He hoped that she knew that he hadn’t slept with her out of some obligation to make her feel better. She had to know that he meant it when he told her that he wasn't only _pretending_ to love her..

 She had to know. He _needed_ her to know.

 Bellamy sighed and pulled Clarke against him, her arm instinctively wrapping around his body as she fell deeper into slumber on his chest. Bellamy rested his head on hers, his dark eyes staring up at the ceiling as he hoped she would still be his tomorrow. Because now more than ever, he knew he couldn't handle the pain of losing her again..

 

 

The sound of Clarke’s voice rattled Bellamy awake, and his groggy mind slowly registered that it was morning as his eyes flew open. His vision steadied on the hazy sight of Clarke hovering above him, shaking his shoulders with a worried look on her face.

 “Bellamy! Bellamy wake up now!”

 “What the…” He sat up, his brows creasing in confusion as he glanced around the room- judging by the brightness of the sunlight streaming in the windows, he could tell they had slept in pretty late. He let out an exhausted groan, “What's wrong?”

 “It’s Finn and Roma, they’re already on the way back and they’re going to be at my apartment in less than an hour. He just texted me. Bellamy- we have to get there before they do.”

Bellamy’s eyed widened, the immediate panic that set in was quickly off-set by another question that sprang to his mind. “Wait...are we still caring what they think? What about last night?”

Clarke frowned, shaking her head. “I don’t know, but we can talk about that later, we really don’t have the time now.” She stood up and tossed his clothes at him. “Get dressed- _quickly_.”

 Bellamy’s jaw tightened as he watched her shrugging into her tee-shirt and jeans that had finally dried out from the night before.

 “Fine.” He flung open the covers and started to dress. But just before she turned to head out the door, he gently grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back against him.

 “But we _will_ talk about this.” His sleepy eyes gazed sharply at her. “Things aren’t even close to being over with you and I, Princess.”

 Clarke stared at him for a long moment, “I know.”

  
And just like that- they were running out the door, jumping into his Jeep, and speeding back to reality.

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay here we go- second to last chapter! I hope you enjoy it- there's a lot going on in this one, and once again my writing proves to me that my sleep is so longer important as I type this final note at 2:29 in the morning. Ha!
> 
> As always- I love getting your comments soooo much and it truly makes for a wonderful reward and very inspiring to me to keep writing. Thanks for all your support and I look forward to getting your feedback! :)
> 
> PS- Should be one more chapter after this one..enjoy!

The drive back from the motel was fairly quiet, aside from the hum and constant rumble of Bellamy's jeep as it sped along the jagged country roads. But the silence between them was different this time, it wasn't rife with the heaviness and tension that both of them had expected- instead it was rather amicable...almost _peaceful_ even.

Neither of them spoke at first, but Bellamy was acutely aware of the breathy noises that Clarke was making as she moved to rest her head against the window like she had before. Then at some point, she wasn't sure exactly when, she had drifted towards Bellamy instead, her head leaning against his shoulder and her left hand sliding over his.

Bellamy's eyes were suddenly drawn to the ring on Clarke's finger, the platinum band with the square cut diamond that Bellamy had all but managed to avoid gazing at for as long as she'd had it.

Except now he couldn't _stop_ looking at it, and Clarke couldn't help but notice the distinct frown on his face as he pulled his eyes back up to the road.

"You're staring at my ring." She whispered.

He cleared his throat, straightening his shoulders. "Yeah..so?"

"You don't like it, do you? The first day I wore it in the office you told me it was hideous."

A weary laugh rumbled through his chest. "Sounds like something I'd say. I guess it's just not what _I_ would've picked for you, is all..." Bellamy's eyes widened, realizing the subtext behind his words.

Clarke was quiet for a moment, the corners of her lips twitching up in a smirk. "Would you have chosen _Princess_ cut for me..?"

When Bellamy looked at her, he couldn't fight the sad smile that crept across his tired face. "Something like that..." Then he twisted his hand and wove his fingers through hers, his thumb suddenly shoving her ring down to the underside of her palm.

"Hey..." Her brows furrowed,"Why'd you do that to my ring?"

Bellamy's jaw tensed and he trained his eyes back ahead. "Because I don't want that thing staring at me while I hold your hand. That's why. Your lucky I don't rip it off of you."

"You can't do that Bellamy!" Clarke instantly snapped. "It doesn't belong to you!"

He narrowed his eyes, his brow quirking up in a challenge. " _Watch me_."

"Oh really? Should I be trying to rip _Roma's_ engagement ring off her as well? Because let's not forget that I'm not the only one engaged here Bellamy." She yanked her hand away and slumped against the seat, boxing her arms over her chest.

But Bellamy could say nothing, his fingers gripping harder on the steering wheel as they lapsed back into a silence- this time feeling a little less peaceful.

 

The minutes dragged by as they finally reached their exit twenty minutes later, but when Bellamy pulled onto Clarke's street they both caught sight of Finn's car already parked in front of her building.

Clarke cursed under her breath, "Shit. They're already inside." She glanced over at Bellamy, catching the grave look in his eyes as they pulled up to the curb.

He threw them into park behind Finn, the monstrous Jeep instantly dwarfing the tiny blue Prius in a matter of seconds. Bellamy leaned back in his seat and sighed, his fingers raking through his messy curls as they both stared ahead, the coldness still lurking between them.

"So what's the plan here Princess?"

Clarke groaned, rubbing her hands over her face, "I don't know..think, think..." and then her eyes suddenly snapped to his, like a light bulb popping over her head. "I got it! We tell them we're coming back from the breakfast diner! We just say we decided to grab an early breakfast and we're just now coming back. There's no reason they shouldn't believe that, right?"

Clarke could practically hear Bellamy's teeth grinding together as he looked away from her. He sucked in a deep, deliberate breath and nodded slowly. "Breakfast.....right....and remind me again Clarke? Was that _before_ or _after_ I fucked your brains out?"

Clarke's jaw dropped, her eyes widening in horror. "Bellamy Blake..don't you dare.."

"Dare what? Tell the _truth_?" He leaned into her, his dark eyes salacious as they traced over her features. "You're right Princess, that would be _crazy_. Best to just tell them the breakfast thing. And I'll try to leave out the part where you were _screaming_ my name." He pulled back, a furious grin crawling across his lips as he opened the door and hopped out.

Clarke was outraged. She clamped her fists against her mouth, screaming into her knuckles to stifle the sound. She felt like such an idiot for ever trusting him. And now she would have to watch helplessly as he marched inside and ruined her life forever.

But for a mere fraction of a second, Clarke wondered if that would be such a horrible thing after all.

It had been taking all the self control she could muster not to let her mind wander back to last night-replaying the image of Bellamy's chest slick with sweat as he moved inside her, and the way his dusky eyes fluttered shut when she rocked against his hips, her nails dragging claw marks across his back every time he pushed deeper... she couldn't deny to herself that it was the best sex she'd ever had.

But what lingered in the recesses of her brain more than any of those toe-curling memories, were nine little words he had whispered against her lips-

_"I'm not pretending a damn thing. I already do."_

 

Clarke swallowed, shaking her head free of her reverie- knowing that those were the very thoughts that threatened to undo her. After all, Bellamy was only saying what she needed to hear, he was only letting her get lost in his touch as a means of survival for both of them, especially after discovering that their fiancee's _tryst_ went back further than they'd hoped. Clarke had stooped to standing in front of Bellamy bare naked and practically begging for it before he a _ctually_ slept with her- and the very thought of her pitiful advances made her cheeks flush an angry shade of red.

Clarke knew that he had only spent the night with her to make her feel better, she'd be a fool to think that it was really anything more than that.

But why was he so eager to tell Finn and Roma the truth now? Especially when it would only serve to ruin BOTH of their relationships. Clarke still knew that deep inside she was disgusted at the idea of her cheating and lying, but she couldn't help but feel like the lines had been blurred somehow when her own fiancee' had started fooling around with Bellamy's..

_Great. Now she was rationalizing Finn's bad behavior as well as her own..who the hell was she??_

 

Clarke suddenly realized that she had been sitting there for far too long, and she jumped out of the car and bounded after him. She caught up with Bellamy half way down her hall just as he was about to raise his hand to her door. When he saw her, he froze mid-knock and glared at her. "Ah _Clarke_ , so glad you decided to join me." 

"Bellamy..." She gulped pleadingly, shaking her head. "If you care about me at all, you won't do this to me.. _please._ " She batted her lashes as she stared at him with wide, hopelessly blue eyes.

Then Bellamy slowly dropped his hand, his eyebrows knitting together and his eyes softening, searching Clarke's face for something she refused to show. After a minute he opened his mouth as if to say something, but instead he just sighed and slumped his shoulder against the wall in defeat. "Just open the damn door." He whispered.

Clarke wasn't sure what to make of that, but she knew she couldn't wait any longer since Roma and Finn had likely heard them stirring in the hallway. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her keys, ignoring the distant look in Bellamy's eyes as she shoved past him and opened the door.

Roma and Finn were chatting in her kitchen as their eyes flew to Clarke barging into the room, with Bellamy reluctantly trailing behind.

"Clarke!" Finn's face immediately lit up, running towards her and throwing his arms around her shoulders. Roma yelped with excitement as a very haggard-looking Bellamy forced a smile in his fiancee's direction, and accepted the thin brunette's hug as well.

"I missed you so much baby!" Roma moved to kiss him, but he angled his head at the last second so her kiss landed on his cheek instead. She pulled back, a confused look on her face. "What's wrong Bellamy?"

"Nothing. I don't feel well, and I don't want to get you sick." Somehow the weary, rusty tone in his voice made him more convincing. Clarke could feel Bellamy's eyes settling on her as Finn refused to let her go, and it took everything Clarke could muster not to meet his gaze.

It was almost embarrassing. Bellamy was barely letting Roma touch him, and here Clarke was letting Finn shamelessly smother her _right_ in front of Bellamy.

But as Clarke tried to pull away, suddenly Finn tugged her back in for a long, heavy kiss. Her whole body went rigid under his lips as her eyes flew open, unintentionally locking with Bellamy's eyes over Finn's shoulder.

Bellamy could hardly disguise the look of disgust and torture on his face, Clarke could see it in the way Bellamy's jaw clenched, his dangerously dark eyes narrowing and shooting daggers into Finn's back.

She felt a pang of guilt slicing through her. He looked _incredibly_ jealous, and unless Roma was completely blind, she was bound to notice. Clarke finally freed herself from Finn's grasp, wiping his saliva from her mouth with her hand.

"Wow- I missed you too sweetheart." She smiled timidly, trying to play off the blushing in her cheeks

Finn smiled and stepped back, and then his beaming grin slowly faded into something more curious as his eyes darted between she and Bellamy. "Wait a second-were you two just getting back from somewhere? You look like you've been out all night.."

Roma stepped beside him now, and they both exchanged suspicious glances as they took in the wrinkled and dirty clothes that Bellamy and Clarke both wore, their hair twisted into rain-battered curls, and the dark circles creeping into the hollows under both their eyes.

Clarke looked to Bellamy, his face hardening into a mask as his eyebrow snapped up at her- telling her that she was on her own with this lie.

"Well..we uh...we were at breakfast." Her voice was stammering, betraying her, and she laughed nervously. "Lou's Diner, just down the street. It's an awful place really, but you can't beat their hollandaise sauce."

Bellamy practically rolled his eyes at her. She couldn't lie for shit, and Neither Finn nor Roma looked all that convinced.

 "Then why are your clothes all wrinkled and dirty?" Finn asked. "That doesn't look like something you'd usually wear to breakfast..and why do you look so _tired_?"

Bellamy pressed his lips together, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for Clarke to explain herself away.

Her heart hammered in her chest as she racked her brain for some type of response, anything that would make her seem less guilty than she was. She hated herself for resorting to this- but finally she glanced back to Bellamy, her eyes pleading for his help.

At first Bellamy tried to look indifferent, obviously still miffed with her decision to lie about their night. But as he saw the way Clarke anxiously drew her bottom lip between her teeth, desperation seeping into her eyes- something changed in him. His mask melted away and suddenly he seemed torn, his dark eyes searching the frightened blonde's face.

 

Bellamy knew he loved her. And every fiber of his being wanted so badly for all of this to just disappear so he could have her all for himself. He didn't want to share her with Finn or anyone else, and even just seeing that bastard's hands- and lips- on Clarke was enough to light his gut on fire with rage.

But he also couldn't stand seeing Clarke hurt like this, those big blue eyes gazing up at him. _Needing_ him again. 

Bellamy swallowed his pride like a lump in his throat, and stepped forward. "I took her to the abandoned amusement park an hour south of here in Trumbull County. It was my birthday gift to her, since as I'm _sure_ you know Finn- she likes to sketch abandoned places."

Clarke froze.

"Well that's nice of you, _I guess_." Finn drawled, throwing back his long hair.

Bellamy snorted in response, fighting the urge to roll his eyes again.

"But Trumbull County is pretty far away..." Finn continued to probe, "Did you two stay somewhere last night.. _Together_?" The implication was obvious.

Clarke was literally holding her breath as Bellamy went silent, his eyes coming down to meet hers. 

When he finally replied, his voice was heavy and tinged with the tiniest shred of misery that was probably only noticeable to Clarke. "No... _we didn't_. I took her early this morning so she could catch the sunrise for her pictures, and then we went to breakfast." He cleared his throat, his eyes narrowing on Finn. "And don't worry, I slept on the couch _all_ weekend."

Clarke's whole body melted with relief, and the way both Finn and Roma seemed to relax at his words- it caused all the fear to rush out of her.

And then she noticed the way Bellamy was staring at his feet, his chest rising and falling with deep, labored breaths as he turned away from all of them. It took all of Clarke's strength to tear her eyes away from her usually brash, arrogant co-worker who was somehow reduced to this heavyhearted man beside her.

 

Roma cocked her head with a smile, completely un-phased by the obvious tension in the air. "Well sounds like you two had some fun! Bell can be so thoughtful sometimes, I'm happy he could do that for you Clarke."

"Yeah..he really can be." Clarke said softly, and Bellamy's gaze flitted back to her face. "He's an amazing guy. I'm lucky to call him a friend."

A sad smile forced it's way to Bellamy's lips, and Clarke's heart nearly ripped in her chest.

For the first time, she really wondered if she was making a mistake here. She had a deep sinking feeling that maybe she was missing something, getting it all backwards...

 

But Roma's perky composure yanked her out of her own head. "How about we all get coffee and then lunch? It'll be on us, for Clarke's birthday!"

Clarke opened her mouth to reply, but Bellamy's deep voice cut her off. "I can't make it, I'm feeling really sick to my stomach all of the sudden." His gaze shifted back to Clarke. "I must have eaten something bad at that _diner_.."

Clarke swallowed and took a deep breath, feeling the weight of Bellamy's dark eyes boring into her. "I'm sorry Bellamy, maybe you should go and get some rest then." She croaked. "I hope you feel better. And thanks again.." She paused. _"For everything_."

Bellamy's jaw tensed as he nodded at her, looking lost in thought. Then she was surprised when he rocked back in hesitation, and then unexpectedly Bellamy lurched forward and pulled Clarke in for a hug.

It only made Clarke feel even worse, that after forcing him to lie to Roma he was still even willing to touch her. But in the next moment, everything that Clarke had ever known to be true was completely shattered with what he did next.

 

Because as Bellamy wrapped his arms around her, he didn't think twice about bringing his lips to her ear and quietly whispering, " _I love you._ " Before ripping away and practically storming out of her apartment.

 

_______________________________________

 

The following day Clarke dreaded going back to the office. She had done everything possible that morning to set up several client visits, lunch meetings, anything that would result in her not having to be cooped up in that prison of cubicles, glass conference rooms, and slate-grey walls that trapped her within too close of range of her once enemy-turned ally- turned dirty secret Bellamy Blake.

But against her better wishes, she soon found her heels walking in soft steps across the office carpet, keeping her head of cascading blonde curls angled downwards and praying to slip into her cubicle unnoticed (and un-tempted).

Once she successfully managed that task, she breathed a sigh of relief, adjusted her blue checkered cardigan and black pencil skirt, and then slumped comfortably into her chair.

"You got this Clarke..it's going be okay." She whispered to herself, "You're a strong, confident woman who has total control over her own destiny." It was a personal chant of encouragement that she had once memorized from a CD on self-reliance and career confidence- part of her mandatory sales training during her first few months at Terracon Technologies. While they were in training together, Bellamy would roll his eyes whenever she would repeat such personal mantras under her breath, especially when he was baiting her on and getting under her skin.

_"Stop creeping me out with that damn chanting bullshit Princess. You sound like a psychopath."_

_"Die Bellamy."_

Clarke smiled fondly at the memories, realizing it was such a short time ago when they practically lived to be at one another's throats. And then a memory of Bellamy's tongue tracing along the inside of her lips made her unscrew that smile rather quickly.

After Bellamy and Roma left, Clarke had spent the better part of Sunday night watching movies with Finn and eating microwave pasta. She engaged in half-hearted conversation, nodding in all the appropriate places, inserting a laugh or two, and then dazing out completely whenever his eyes focused back on the screen. And once Finn had finally drifted off to sleep, her mind clouded with images of the abandoned amusement park, the Ferris wheel, the mirror maze, the motel...but most of all _Bellamy_. Bellamy's mischievous smiles, his disheveled black curls falling over his brows as he laughed, the pressure of his lips on her mouth...it was too much. Clarke squeezed her legs a little tighter together, warding off the wave of desire and guilt that simultaneously washed through her.

He probably hated her now.

But also he said that he _loved_ her....and she replayed that exact second over and over in her head ever since- analyzing it down to the pitch of his whisper and the precise fluctuation in his voice- trying desperately to grasp it as something that was real.

Bellamy said he  _loved_ her.

And to think, only a month ago they had practically strangled each other at the latest Office Happy Hour when he got drunk and accused her of sleeping with Mr. Nichelsen again- just because he had taken Clarke to dinner for giving him a deal on the newest software upgrades for his company.

In hind sight, Clarke finally realized that a lot of his behavior could have been attributed to jealousy, which made her smile.

 

Eventually Clarke got to work, crafting e-mails and making phone calls, and slowly but surely she felt her life slipping back into normalcy. By the time lunch rolled around she was glad she had packed her own food, because she was feeling quite cozy and safe in this high-walled cubicle of hers, content with being cut off from humanity. But still, the ever present wonder of whether or not Bellamy would dare wander in her office unannounced loomed in the back of her mind. He usually made a habit of swinging by to torture her at least twice a day, but now she felt herself growing worried the closer it got to 5pm, and she still had yet to see him. Was he sick? Was he on PTO?

But that question was answered a few minutes later when she heard his booming voice calling to a fellow co-worker down the hall, and Clarke ran to the wall of her cubicle and stealthily peeked over the edge, catching a brief glimpse of his well-built frame, his golden skin, and his perfect mop of curls. Just before he turned to look in her direction, Clarke shrank back into her cubicle, jumping back to her seat and praying that he hadn't seen her spying on him.

Still, the minutes went by and his voice got further away, and something inside of her sank like a weight when she realized that he didn't _want_ to see her. And by the time her co-workers were packing up to go home, Clarke would have given her right leg just to see Bellamy rolling his eyes and criticizing her again- with that same hate-filled affection that only he could pull off.

Long after the office had completely cleared out and she was getting ready to pack her own things, Clarke suddenly saw a tiny window pop up in the bottom of her screen. She froze, thinking that nobody was left in the office to be sending her an instant message- especially when it was nearly 8pm. She moved closer to read the name in the tiny blue window, and then gasped.

 **Bellamy:**   _Working late I see..._

Clarke bit her lip, feeling the nerves cropping up in her stomach. She sat back down to type.

 **Clarke:** _Yeah, I had to wrap up some things with the Nichelsen account._

 **Bellamy:** _By "wrapping up" do you mean...?_

 **Clarke:** _Dammit Bellamy. How many times do I have to tell you I'm not sleeping with him?!_

 **Bellamy:** _Good, because if you were, I'd have to kill him._

She felt her chest tighten.

 **Clarke:**   _Careful, you're starting to sound jealous..._

 **Bellamy:**   _Maybe I am. Does that bother you?_ _  
_

Clarke took a deep breath, deciding to change the subject.

 **Clarke:** _I'm surprised you're still talking to me.  
_

She held her breath for several minutes as the message box stayed silent, and she wondered if he would leave her hanging all night. Until finally-

 **Bellamy:**   _Meet me in the back conference room?_ _  
_

Clarke's eyes widened as she read the screen, biting at her knuckles as she weighed the decision in her mind.

 **Clarke:** _Do you really think that's a good idea?_

 **Bellamy:**   _Yes I do..._

 

Against her better judgement Clarke found herself walking down the hallway that led to the largest conference room, one equipped with an oval shaped table and a full spread of glass windows that looked out over the city skyline at night. She stepped inside, realizing she had gotten there first, and took the time to smooth her hair with her hands and adjust her skirt, which she may or may not have known to be Bellamy's favorite- judging by the way he had always stared at her when she wore it. And the cardigan she wore? It was fitted and fairly low cut, all tiny ways she had tried to distract him and throw him off his game when they were in one of there frequent stand offs and shouting matches in the office.

But she now wore them for slightly different reasons..which made her shudder.

Clarke walked up to the glass windows and stared out at the evening sky, which was now falling a darker grey and giving life to the  multitude of streetlights and brightly-lit buildings below. She didn't turn when she heard the footsteps behind her, recognizing the distinct sound of his leather shoes against the berber carpet, and listening as she heard the door to the conference room close- and then lock.

She smiled as she heard his deep voice cutting the silence. "You just _had_ to wear that skirt today, didn't you?" 

She smirked. "Yes, as a matter of fact I did." She spun around, and then Clarke nearly gasped at how handsome he looked, with the dim light from the window casting a glow across his freckles, his black eyes shining like obsidian in the moon's rays.

Clarke cleared her throat nervously. "You didn't come see me today."

Bellamy's lips curled up into a grin, "Are you saying you missed me?"

"No!" She answered quickly, too quickly. "Well..maybe a _little_."

Bellamy arched his brow, lightly drumming his fingers on the table between them as he circled around it, coming closer.

"That's funny, because I'm pretty sure that's why you have a fiancee', isn't it? So you don't get lonely?"

"Is that why you have yours?" She retorted.

"Don't change the subject, Clarke."

"I'm not."

They both stopped, their bodies only inches away. Clarke could see the way Bellamy's chest rose and fell through his tightly-fitted dress shirt, his tie ditched and the top several buttons opened and revealing a smooth slice of tanned skin.

Bellamy watched her wandering gaze in amusement. "You're eye-fucking me again. You don't have to do that anymore." He leaned in, whispering " _I've already been inside you_..."

Clarke's jaw dropped in horror, she raised her arm to slap him in the face, but Bellamy caught her wrist in his grasp and held her arm firmly above her head. He closed the gap between them, his other hand coming up to clutch at her waist and his warm breath ghosting over her lips as he breathed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

Seeing Bellamy apologize was like seeing an animal speak Japanese- it just didn't exist in nature, but it made her smile all the same.

"You _better_ be sorry." Clarke pouted, and something about her tone lured an adoring smile out of Bellamy. He dropped her arm, reaching up to gently card his fingers through her blonde waves. Clarke's eyelids fell shut at the feeling, then he brushed his fingers down the side of her neck, stopping just at the top of her cleavage, making her shiver.

"Fuck Clarke..." He whispered roughly, pressing his forehead into hers. "This is going to be _torture_ , seeing you every day, especially when you're with Finn, knowing I can't touch you like this." He squeezed his eyes shut. "Neither of them deserve us, you know that."

She sighed, knowing all too well where he was coming from. She had mentally cursed Finn and Roma over and over since they first caught them cheating, and yet some part of her held onto this twisted dynamic between all of them for reasons she couldn't really explain..even to herself.

"I know." She replied softly. "I'm just..." And then a word surfaced in her mind suddenly that seemed to sum it all up so perfectly. "I'm _scared_."

Bellamy was still for a moment before finally nodding, letting her know it was okay. And then his right hand came up to her face as he edged his mouth closer to hers.

" _Can I...Princess?"_  He breathed against her. _"Just one last time?"_

Clarke couldn't say no, no matter how confused or scared she was- of everything- just the way he touched her, the way he shamelessly intruded in her space, it all had a way of easing her nerves and lighting them on fire at the very same time. She nodded.

And then Bellamy was kissing her, but this time much more tenderly, like he was savoring every caress of their lips and every tiny sigh escaping Clarke's chest. His arms closed around her, molding her to him as his hand smoothed up under her shirt and along the skin between her shoulder blades, leaving a fiery path that burned with something more innocent than lust alone. But the pace never quickened, and his hands never roamed away from her back and her waist, instead he seemed quietly content with just holding her, kissing her softly for what felt like hours. Clarke was breathless, amazed at how some one who could make such violent remarks and arrogant comments could also be the person who was capturing her lips so delicately, so thoughtfully,  stirring a new passion deep within her that she never even knew existed.

But they both knew it couldn't last forever, and that's why Clarke fought the urge to protest when he finally pulled away. By now the night had fallen, and the conference room was shrouded in darkness, but the luminous glow of the city lights filtering through the windows danced across Bellamy's features, just enough so she could see the myriad of emotions warring behind his eyes.

"I hate to say this, but I think we should go now." He whispered.

"Yes, we should.." She still felt faint, the kiss still working it's way out of her system.

Bellamy took her hand in his, steadying her. "Come on Princess, I'll walk you out..." And together they walked from the room, calmly accepting that whatever flame had burned between them, was being snuffed out by the reality that they could never be together in that way again.

But at least their good-bye kiss had been a beautiful one.

____________________________________________________________

 

The rest of the week practically ran on auto-pilot, with Clarke going to work, seeing Finn every other evening, and then waking up and doing it all over again. The days and the hours blended together, almost becoming indistinguishable until Clarke was graced with the occasional glance in her direction from a pair of smoldering eyes and a somber grin whenever Bellamy crossed her path. They didn't talk much at the office, and Clarke told herself it was because they were healing, waiting until they could begin this newer, more amicable friendship they had stumbled upon.

According to Finn, Bellamy was spending less and less time with Roma, and the two "friends" would talk sometimes about whether or not they thought Bellamy had feelings for someone else. And when Finn would speculate his theories with Roma over the phone, Clarke would sit quietly curled up on the couch, trying not to flush with guilt.

Still- some part of her wanted to ask Bellamy if it was because of her. And as the days stretched into nights, and Finn would fall sleep beside her, she couldn't help but wonder to herself what Bellamy was doing- and if he was still thinking of her. Clarke had been startled by how un-phased he suddenly seemed to be in her presence now, stopping in her cubicle occasionally to smugly rub some sales achievement in her face with a teasing smile, or brushing past her by the coffee machine with nothing more than a wink and a lopsided smirk.

But all in all, he was calm and collected in her presence, occasionally even indifferent. He was finally moving on and letting her go..just like she wanted. He knew she had chosen Finn over him, and he was backing away gracefully.

And then Clarke would look at Finn sleeping and imagine Bellamy's face instead, and then she would gorge herself on candy and red wine all night watching old movies and wishing she knew anything at all about what she truly wanted.

Because as far as she knew, Finn and Roma were still going on their little "side hangouts" and Clarke was feeling more and more helpless. But those thoughts would drift away every time she managed to hear Bellamy's voice floating through the office, and she would feel herself smiling despite herself all alone in her cubicle.

Even the sales meetings had become less unnerving, when Bellamy used to make it a point to sit directly across from her in the conference room just so he could gaze unwaveringly at Clarke until she twitched-trying to pick away at her confidence. But now Bellamy sat off to the side, just out of her line of sight and making absolutely no move to stare at her or even so much as talk to her once the meeting let out.

And all of this gave Clarke the coldest feeling of all, that he didn't even care anymore, not even as a begrudging ally- and certainly not as a friend.

So Clarke did everything she could to reflect those same feelings back to him.

 

 

That coming Friday was a day off from the office, and instead the entire software company would be celebrating their annual Employee Appreciation Night, which was an evening of dancing and drinking and giant buffets of food- not to mention forced conversation with co-workers and their families. Clarke was obviously bringing Finn, and Bellamy was bringing Roma, and the whole thing was meant to be this tropical luau theme which was bound to be the perfect recipe for uncomfortable dress code violations and lots of drunk dancing.

But the Thursday night before the Employee Appreciation party, Clarke found herself tossing and turning alone in her bed, her remote flicking through channels and playing Netflix as she finally decided to give up on sleep, just succumbing to the idea that she would now be an insomniac. Bellamy hadn't even bothered to speak to her all day, but she told herself that's not why she couldn't sleep- she just found herself hanging near the coffee maker far too much for her own good lately, drinking an alarming amount of caffeine that was disrupting her sleeping patterns.

And Finn had decided to grab coffee with Roma earlier in the evening, so Clarke decided it would be best just to spend her night alone.

It was 2am and her windows were jostling with the sounds of a late-night thunderstorm and heavy rain. It wasn't until Clarke finally started to feel her eyelids getting heavy that she heard her phone chime with a text message. Her eyes flew open..who the hell would be texting her at 2am?

When she looked at the name, she nearly dropped her phone and cracked her screen (again).

It read:

 **Bellamy:**   _You awake?_

 

Clarke balled her fists against her chest, curiosity and confusion washing over her.

 

 **Clarke:** _Actually yes...I'm something of an insomniac lately._

 **Bellamy:**   _I'm sorry to hear that..._ _Finn isn't there to help you sleep?_

 

Clarke wasn't sure she appreciated the implications behind that, so she decided (probably based on lack of sleep) that it was a good idea to mess with him.

 

 **Clarke:** _Finn actually didn't tire me out quite enough, so he fell asleep before me._

 

There was a pause before he texted back.

 

 **Bellamy:** _That's not funny._

 **Clarke:** _Well that's what you get for texting me so late. I'm not funny after midnight._

 **Bellamy:** _Clarke...is Finn really there with you?_

 

Clarke was surprised by the serious tone of his short replies.

 

 **Clarke:** _No, he's not._

 **Bellamy:** _So are you alone then?_

 **Clarke:** _Yes obviously.._

 

There was another pause before he texted one last time.

 

 **Bellamy:** _Good. That's all I needed to know._

 

 Clarke twisted her phone in her hands, staring blankly at her TV  as she tried to make sense of what had just happened. Why would he text her just to make sure she was alone in the middle of the night? Did he relish in her misery? What kind of sick jerk would make sure she was lonely just so he could sleep better?

 

 _"Asshole.." S_ he huffed, throwing her phone down on the night stand. She really should have known better, that Bellamy would go back to being the manipulative bastard he always was. But what upset her more than anything- was his need for her to be hurting just in order for him to feel less pain- it was selfish and cruel (even if she did kind of deserve it) but she had really hoped that he cared more for her than that.

She was obviously wrong.

Clarke eventually drifted off to sleep once she tired herself out with uselessly analyzing the texts over and over- and it was just as her eyelids clamped shut again that she was abruptly awakened by the sudden knocking at her door.

Her eyes flew open, and she tip-toed into her kitchen, her heart starting to double in speed as she heard the knocking growing louder and louder. _What the hell..._

Just then a sharp clap of thunder made her jump, and the rain beating against her glass windows made the whole idea of a stranger knocking on her door in the middle of the night all the more terrifying.

Clarke approached the door carefully, leaning her eye over the tiny hole so she could peer out into the hallway.

Her eye was met with a flash of dripping wet curls and a dusting of freckles staring back at her through the peephole. Clarke's heart nearly stopped altogether.

_It was Bellamy._

She quickly undid the bolt and twisted the knob, pulling the door open.

Bellamy was standing there, his shirt and jeans soaked through from head to toe, his fiercely dark eyes burning into her from under his chaotic, drenched hair. He was staring at her with this deep, pensive look, his brows furrowing together as if making some decision, his chest heaving in the silence.

And once again, completely wet, he still looked breathlessly handsome.

Clarke couldn't help but stammer. "Bellamy...what.. _what are you doing_..."

But it was useless to try and speak, because her words were silenced by Bellamy stalking towards her and crashing his lips against hers.

 

Everything else happened so quickly she barely had time to think. But as Bellamy backed her up against the kitchen counter, her body responded immediately as she rolled her hips into him, peeling off their layers as their kiss deepened, her hands tangling in his wet hair and his arms winding around her waist to lift her onto the counter.

"The _bed_...the bed Bellamy.." She managed to pant out between gasps, and he nodded and picked her up again, her legs hooking around his hips as he carried her back to her room, crashing into every wall and corner along the way, and clumsily laughing into each other's lips.

They were both naked in a matter of seconds, tearing off their clothes like their lives depended on it, and Bellamy breathed out the deepest sigh of relief as he finally sank inside Clarke, as if being together like this filled some massive void that existed inside both of them, as if one of them needed the other simply to survive.

After it was over and the final wave of sweet release rolled through their bodies, Bellamy rested his forehead on her collarbone and lightly kissed at the lingering marks he had left along her skin.

He finally raised his head to look into her eyes, his sweaty lips curling up into a smirk.

"Miss me Princess?"

Clarke only laughed, covering her face with her palm as she felt the levity of the moment filling her heart, making her feel light. 

"I wish you and I could just do that forever."

Bellamy grinned, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "We  _can_ do that forever. And besides..." He raised his brow, "We're not even done doing that for _tonight_.."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is! My story finale! Sorry this took awhile to write, but I really hope you like it!
> 
> I want to say a huge Thank You to all of the amazing readers who have read or left kudos or comments on this work- it literally means the world to me! This was my first ever fan-fiction (or first fiction that others have even read) - but again I couldn't have done it without all your support and encouragement. Especially your comments really drove me to finish this story and keep writing! I really fell in love with these characters and wanted to do them justice in the story, so thank you so much for nudging me along!!
> 
> Please leave me feedback and let me know what you think, and please enjoy my final chapter for this story! :)

A young Clarke stood stiffly beside her father’s casket, her once youthful eyes now aged and hollow, her face pale and drawn. Her arms trembled as she feebly accepted the hugs and condolences of her friends and family, people whispering in her ear that everything would be okay and what an amazing man her father had been.

But Clarke already knew all of this. She knew that her father- with his heart of gold and his gentle smile- was the type of father that a girl could only dream of having. He was her best friend, her protector, her confidante…and Clarke shuddered to think that she would now have to go through life without him by her side.

She refused to approach his body until the funeral parlor had cleared out, fearing that she would lose control and do something awful- like scream, or cry, or beg on her knees for him to come back to her. Besides, she didn’t want to remember him as that pallid and lifeless figure that lay in the coffin. She didn’t want that final image of him seared into her mind- burning into the back of her retinas every time she closed her eyes. But there was a different memory from that day that had stayed with Clarke, one that had been etched into the folds of her brain-helping to lay the foundation for years of barriers being forged around her heart.

It was the memory of her mother’s face as she stood before her husband’s body. Her dark, sallow eyes staring off into the distance as if all the life had been whisked out of her. Clarke remembered the pain of losing her father, but it was nothing compared to the hopelessness she had seen in her mother, a ghostly aura that clung to the woman throughout the years even as Clarke grew older. Abigail Griffin had lost her only love, someone she had given her whole heart to, a heart that was now an empty and cadaverous shell of what it once had been.

Sure her mother had continued on, throwing herself mindlessly into medicine and logic and anything else that could stave off the emptiness inside. But she hardly ever dated again, and she certainly never loved again.

So it was only natural that even at a young age Clarke had begun to equate true love- the sort of love that consumed you- with a real and tangible fear. The kind of fear that you could taste on your tongue and feel in your bones at the very idea that you surrendered all happiness should that love ever be taken from you for any reason.

For Clarke- It made more sense to love someone who she could emotionally keep at arm’s length, even if she didn't always realize it.

Yet now as she stared at her bedroom ceiling, she felt that fear creeping over her, wracking her body with such intensity that she could barely recognize it for what it was.

It was 9am and Bellamy had just left her apartment, the two having spent the night tangled together in each other's arms. But afterwords, she had to practically shove him out the door when Finn had texted saying he had a surprise for her, and was coming over in an hour.

“We have to tell them Clarke.” Bellamy had whispered against her hair, pressing his lips to her forehead. “I’m _not_ letting you go this time.” The peaceful determination that colored Bellamy's tone proved just how sure he was that she was finally his, and for the first time, Clarke hadn't denied it.

They promised that they would tell Roma and Finn after their Employee Appreciation Night- knowing it would be best if they were all together when they did it.

“We’ll tell them everything.” She had sighed. “From the very beginning.”  Bellamy had nodded in assent, the two of them sitting beside one another on her bed, their fingers laced together as the inevitable guilt filled their eyes.

But whatever guilt they felt was eclipsed by the magnetic pulse that flowed between them- knowing that on some level this wasn’t even their choice. Bellamy and Clarke had done everything in their power to hate each other, so much so that they often succeeded at first. Yet neither of them could deny this thing between them any longer, and it felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders when they finally chose to give in.

 

Until she lay alone in her bed again after Bellamy had gone, that familiar fear slowly working it’s way through her body. Clarke swallowed hard, trying with all her might to shove it back down. This time, she was determined to fight off her demons once and for all…

 

Finn’s knock at the door came precisely fifty minutes later, just as Clarke was pulling on her jeans and sprucing up her make-up. She had spent the past hour shunning any curiosity whatsoever around Finn’s so-called “surprise.” He wasn’t usually the surprise type of guy- instead he usually deferred to more practical, well-planned outings in place of spontaneity and excitement.

So for some reason, try as she might, Clarke couldn’t ignore the tiny gnawing sensation in the pit of her stomach that somehow this time was going to be different. And when she pulled open her door she was nearly steam-rolled by Finn’s enthusiastic grin as he rushed inside and grabbed her by the shoulders.

“Clarke! Are you ready for the surprise of your life?!” His eyes were giddy and glowing with excitement and Clarke couldn’t help but chuckle at the expression on his face.

“Well yeah…but do you mind telling me what this is all about first?”

“Clearly you don’t know the meaning of the word _surprise_. You’ll see when we get there, oh, and make sure you put this on in the car.” Finn held up a red bandanna. “It goes over your eyes.”

Clarke felt the gnawing in her stomach steadily growing now.  “Seriously?” She let out a weary laugh and plucked the bandanna from his fingers. “Well I guess if I have no other choice..”

Finn’s grin grew even wider. “You really don’t. Now grab your purse and follow me.”

 

The car ride was nearly twenty minutes long, and Clarke could tell by the steady hum of the wind that Finn had taken the highway for at least half of it. Anything else was as good as a guess since Clarke had been blinded by polyester cloth the entire time. She shifted her focus to the smell of the air rolling in through the cracked window, using the cool breeze seeping into her lungs as a means to calm her nerves. She needed to clear her head of these muddled thoughts…all of which were running rampant every time Clarke felt Finn squeeze her hand beside him.

Clarke was finally coming to terms with her feelings for Bellamy, and succumbing to that desire had left her with little doubt as to which direction her heart was leading her. Even now as she sat beside Finn- inches away from the man she was promised to marry- it took all of her strength not to smile as she remembered the night before. And if she was being honest with herself- she knew she was a goner the very second Bellamy showed up at her door, his dripping wet curls raining down on her body as he claimed her as his own.

Bellamy had made love to Clarke twice, and the second time had been surprisingly tender with Bellamy’s lips caressing slowly over her skin, whispering sweet words in her ear as she breathed in his deep, woodsy scent. It was a scent that lingered in her nose and on her fingertips as they touched every part of him, and even now Clarke grazed her fingers along her face to secretly inhale remnants of it, affording her tiny traces of memory that were nothing short of addictive.

Clarke let out a long, cleansing breath.  No matter how hard it was going to be, it was best that she and Bellamy were telling them the truth tonight. She didn't think she could wait one more day without being in Bellamy's arms...

“You didn't peek, did you?” Finn's voice suddenly cut in, slashing a hole in Clarke's self- induced daydream.

“Of course not,"  She drummed her fingers nervously on the door handle. "But this damn bandanna is starting to make my eyes sweat. Can I at least have a clue as to where you’re taking me?”

Finn only laughed, “Too late for that now. We’re just about there.”

Clarke sat up straight, feeling her heart beating in her chest as she noticed the Prius slowing and coming to a stop. Finn came around to her door and took her by the arm, and Clarke could hear the soft crunch of grass beneath her shoes as he led her forward.

“Okay…and we’re here!” He guided her to a stop.” Take off the blindfold!”

Clarke reached behind her head and let the cloth fall around her neck, and as she raised her eyes she felt all of the oxygen slip out of her body.

Standing before her was a two-story colonial complete with white siding, perfectly carved landscaping, and a beautiful wooden porch that wrapped around both corners.

 _No....no...._ she silently pleaded, praying that this wasn't what it looked like. But one glance at the "Sold" sign planted firmly in the yard squashed any remaining hope. Clarke simply stood there, paralyzed in her own nightmare as Finn wrapped his arm around her waist.

“Welcome to our new home, Clarke. My parents gave us the down payment as our wedding present, so it officially just closed in my name.” His face glowed with pride as he looked to his fiancée’. “I bought it for _us_ , sweetheart. Don’t you love it?"

The house couldn't have been more beautiful if she had dreamed it up herself, and all at once Clarke adored and despised it more than anything she had ever laid eyes on.  But she couldn’t express either of those things since her heart was now lodged in her throat, her hand coming up to clamp over her mouth as she smothered back a blood-curdling scream.

 

Sometime later, Clarke sat on the floor of her new master bedroom, her knees curled into her chest and her blue eyes dazed and staring out the window. She could still hear Finn's voice as he wandered through the backyard, boasting all of his home plans to the Realtor, who was barely getting a word in edgewise. Clarke only hugged her knees tighter, her heart sinking in her chest with every flash of Finn's excited grin, with every corner of this beautiful new home that she was destined to fade away in, with every thought of Bellamy's touch drifting into the darkness. This perfect house felt more like a prison, the vaulted ceilings and arched doorways slowly closing in on her, squeezing the air from her lungs and the hope from her chest.

Clarke clamped her eyes shut, remembering Finn's words only moments earlier as they walked through their new kitchen, telling her he had one last surprise. Telling her that he had called every other day until he was finally able to nab a cancellation in June for the wedding hall that Clarke had so desperately loved, but had all but given up on. Telling her that they now had an official date set for their wedding. And as she sat alone on the empty floor, the tears silently streaming down her face, it took every ounce of strength that existed inside her not to shatter into pieces.

Because after all he had done for her, how could she possibly leave Finn now?

Clarke rocked backwards and collapsed onto the floor, because she knew that no matter which way she chose, she would be destroying someone's heart.

Most of all her own.

\----------------------------

 

As Bellamy spent his day off from work lounging around his apartment, he couldn't keep his thoughts from drifting back to the soft touch of Clarke's lips and curve of her smile. He realized that he had been grinning like an idiot all day- like one of those men in those sappy romantic comedies that Octavia had always forced him to watch.

But he didn't give a damn, because she was worth it. _Hell_ , she was worth everything. And after tonight, there would be nothing left keeping them apart.

 But by later in the afternoon, he was growing noticeably worried when he glanced at his cell phone- realizing she had yet to return any of his texts:

 

 **Bellamy-12 pm:** _Hey you ;) I know you're nervous about later, I just wanted to tell you that we can get through this, and I can't wait to see you tonight._

 

 **Bellamy-1:30 pm:** _Is everything alright? I haven't heard back from you..._

 

 **Bellamy- 2:28 pm:** _Clarke??_

 

 **Bellamy- 3:20 pm:** _Are you with Finn? Is that why you can't answer?_

 

 **Bellamy- 5:00 PM:** _Seriously Clarke? Should I be worried here....?_

 

 

By 5:30 pm Bellamy practically threw his phone across the room, only holding himself back at the last second with the vague hope that she might actually text back. There had to be some logical explanation to all this- maybe there was something wrong with her phone? Maybe it died and she wasn't near a charger?

And then his stomach churned and suddenly he felt sick, because maybe this meant that she was changing her mind about leaving Finn.

And the worst part of all, was he wouldn't know what was going through that little blonde's mind until their company party- which was only a few hours away. But to Bellamy, it felt more like a lifetime was passing with every second that Clarke pretended he didn't even exist to her...

 

\------------------------------

_Later that night...._

Terracon Technologies had possibly outdone itself this time. The software company had rented a large hall in a swanky hotel downtown, essentially transforming everything from the hallways to the banquet floor into a tropical-themed paradise. Arching over the entrance was a banner that read "Terracon Employee Appreciation Night." And everywhere Clarke looked there were native Hawaiian plants and palms trees looming overhead, and the main room itself was dimly lit with a blaze of tiki torches lining the walls.

Clarke was almost relieved to see that her attire was consistent with that of her co-workers and their dates, which she felt was border-line inappropriate- but their company never seemed to mind. Even the CEO himself was dancing around with a Hawaiian shirt and khakis, a glass of whiskey jangling around in his hand.

She and Finn were dressed in typical island garb, Finn with his tropical shirt and cargo shorts, and Clarke wearing a blue bikini top and cotton white pants, with a lay of colorful flowers strung around her neck. Clarke's eyes wandered about as they both gasped, taking in the impressive party unfolding before them. There was dancing, drinking, laughter- everything the workplace typically wasn't almost any other day of the year.

But the further they walked inside, the more Clarke's nerves were stirring with trepidation. She knew it hadn't been a wise choice to ignore Bellamy's texts..but honestly she had spent the entire day soaked in an unfeeling-stupor. The numbness building around the walls of her heart every time she felt her phone buzzing, and every time she blatantly fought the urge to scream into her hands.

But it wouldn't make things any easier for her, especially now as they caught sight of their friends waving at them. Actually, only Roma was waving- Bellamy was staring them down with a razor-sharp gaze as Clarke moved closer, Finn's arm looped through hers.

"Hey guys!" Finn gave a genial wave, and Roma broke into a smile as she rushed forward to greet them. Bellamy hung back, his eyes seeming to linger on the way Finn's hand was drifting along the small of Clarke's back.

"Clarke! Finn! oh my God you guys- isn't this place incredible?!" Roma released Clarke from a barely-there hug, and Clarke shifted her feet anxiously.

"Yeah..this place is something alright." Her eyes finally landed on Bellamy- who of course looked gorgeous as ever in khakis and a white button-down shirt that was completely open, his tan chest and chiseled abs bare for the world to see.

Bellamy met Clarke's gaze, his jaw tensing as he gave her a brisk nod. He was clearly unhappy.

"Well hello, Clarke." He glared. "You're looking very.... _tropical_ tonight." His dark eyes rolled over her bare midriff, and Clarke felt a wave of heat flaring up in her cheeks.

"Bellamy.. you're also looking very... _tropical_." She schooled her features, all too aware of the way Finn and Roma's eyes were bouncing back and forth between them now. Despite the sweltering climate that the party embodied, the air between Bellamy and Clarke was frigid at best.

Bellamy raised his brow and took a step forward, his low voice searing through as he spoke. "What? No hug for your favorite _co-worker_?"

Clarke swallowed hard, opening her arms as Bellamy stalked forward and wrapped himself around her, turning to whisper in her ear. "You and I need to talk Princess... _Now_."

Before Clarke could even shudder, he pulled away and turned to flash Roma and Finn his trademark grin. "I have a great idea! Since you two are our guests- why don't you guys go mingle with the crowd while Clarke and I try to round us up some drinks at the bar?"

Roma beamed and grabbed Finn's hand, "Actually Clarke, you don't mind if I take your fiancee' for a spin on the dance floor, do you?"

"No! please...." She cleared her throat nervously, "You two go have fun."

Finn stepped forward and kissed Clarke on the cheek, casting Bellamy a weary glance. "We'll just be on the other side of the hall, so don't go getting lost you two." And then he and Roma disappeared back into the crowd.

 

They stood alone at last, Clarke's eyes suddenly staring at her feet like they were the most interesting thing in the world, ignoring the feeling of Bellamy's gaze burning into her.

 "Clarke...."

 Her face instantly shot up to cut him off, "How about those drinks!?" She sputtered, turning to sprint towards the bar without bothering to wait for him as she barged her way through a crowd of bystanders. She slammed her hands desperately onto the counter, "Bartender!! Three beers and one glass of Chianti! Stat!"

Her heart was beating faster as she heard Bellamy shoving past the other guests, her breath catching as he grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to face him.

" _Clarke!_ Why have you been ignor..." But he was interrupted by a very irritated bartender pushing the drinks in front of her.

"You wanted a beer, right Bellamy?" She jabbered quickly, attempting to divert him again. "You didn't say what you wanted so I just figured...."

Bellamy growled, clearly losing what little patience he had left. "Clarke..."

But she couldn't stop, she just kept blubbering on like an idiot, as if it would somehow rescue her from this awful moment. She could hear the absurd way that her voice was cracking, her heart was racing, her wine glass rattling uncontrollably in her shaking hands...

And as he watched, Bellamy's sullen glare was slowly melting into concern, his brows turning down in worry as Clarke quickly fell to pieces before his very eyes. After several seconds of her spiraling out of control, Bellamy finally couldn't take it anymore. The next thing Clarke knew, he was yanking her by the arm and dragging her under the shaded cover of a palm tree.

Bellamy grabbed Clarke by the shoulders and brought his face level with hers. "Hey- _just stop_. You're going give yourself another panic attack. I just need you calm down, and tell me what the hell is going on... _now_."

Clarke took a deep, clearing breath- glad to be out from under the scorching lights of the tiki torches. Here, in the calming shade with no one else besides Bellamy, it was almost as if the tiny fractured pieces of her life were falling into place again. If even for a moment. "I'm...I'm fine." She murmured.

"Princess..." Bellamy's hard features began to soften, his dark eyes vulnerable as they searched hers. "Please tell me you're not having second thoughts about us. Is that what this is about?"

And that moment of peace was over, just as quickly as it had come.

But still, as Clarke gazed into Bellamy's eyes, his obvious fears so raw and exposed, she just couldn't bring herself tell him. She couldn't tell Bellamy that she was staying with Finn. She decided that she would explain everything later, later that night when she had mustered up enough courage that she wouldn't collapse from the violence of her own heartbreak-and his- before ever getting out the words.

She shook her head, and even though a voice inside her was screaming at what an awful and horrible person she was, all she could say was- "No. I'm not having second thoughts." And the relieved smile that stretched across Bellamy's lips was the most glorious thing she had ever seen.

And for a second, she wanted to freeze that moment forever- do everything in her power to make him that happy for the rest of his life. And most importantly, never, ever have to hurt him.

Bellamy leaned forward, his breath mingling with hers as he hovered over her lips. "Thank God, because I've been wanting to kiss you so badly.." he exhaled sharply, sending a chill down Clarke's spine.

"We can't.."

"I know, I know." He sighed, pulling back. "Not _yet_ at least." And then he quirked his brow artfully, running his fingers through his messy black curls as his lips turned up in a grin. "But who says we can't _dance_? Finn and Roma already are. Besides, pretty soon none of that's going to matter anyways..."

Clarke, still mesmerized by his smile, must have done something like nod, because moments later they were weaving between the crowds of couples as he led her onto the dance floor. Once they found a patch of unclaimed space, Bellamy unexpectedly twirled Clarke around until she came spinning back into his arms and he caught her with a devious smirk, his arms settling around her waist as he tugged her in closer.

Clarke couldn't stop the excited gasp that escaped from her lips, much to Bellamy's delight. "Whoa, you can dance!?" She breathed out. She wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement.

"Only if I have the right partner..." He teased, giving her hips a squeeze. "But honestly, my sister Octavia didn't really have anyone else to teach her. She was afraid she would never get asked to homecoming if she didn't learn, so _somehow_ she conned me into playing old cassette tapes and dancing around our living room."

Clarke watched the way Bellamy's face eased into a wistful smile as he talked about his sister, and Clarke wondered how she ever saw this man as anything but the decent, innocent man that he truly was.

Until Bellamy snuck a glance around the room, his hands trailing dangerously low on Clarke's back, and his deep voice rumbling into the hollow of her ear. "By the way, after we tell them and this is all over, you're going home with _me_ tonight." His lips barely brushed along her jaw as he spoke. "And I promise we won't be getting any sleep..."

Okay, well maybe not _innocent..._  She thought.

Suddenly she could hear several of their co-workers shouting their names, and Clarke sprang away from Bellamy- just in time for him to shoot her an irritated look and pull her back against him. Obviously he didn't give a shit what anyone else thought.

A couple of software salesmen had stumbled up to them in grass skirts, drunk off their asses as they sipped drinks out of coconut shells.

"Hey, heeyy!" One guy named Jasper belted out, his eyes darting between them. "Well looky here? If it isn't our top two Account Managers dancing with one another." He stopped, narrowing his eyes. "I'm confused here, don't you two usually hate each other? Like, _really_ hate each other?"

"Yeah?" Another salesman named Monty slung his arm around Jasper's neck, eyeing Clarke and Bellamy suspiciously. "Kinda looks like you two were about to make out. And if that's the case, then I'll be collecting some money because that means I'm about to win like ten different bets."

Clarke bit her lip, the blood rushing to her cheeks. _Had it always been this obvious to everyone else...?_

Bellamy just chuckled, giving her a wink. "I would only be so lucky fellas. Unless I convince the lady here to give me a chance, that is..."

Clarke huffed out a laugh, shoving Bellamy in the shoulder. "Please you guys, tell everyone they can keep their money, because Bellamy and I were _not_ about to make out."

Bellamy leaned back and cocked his head at her, throwing her a duplicitous look. "Oh _really_  Princess? We'll just see about that..."

Clarke had half a mind to shove him again, but she was cut off by Jasper clumsily raising his whiskey glass to clank against hers. " _Get it girl_." he slurred out.

And Bellamy and Clarke couldn't help but burst into laughter, his fingers gently caressing along her back as her chest swelled with happiness. She didn't understand- everything felt so natural, so _right_ when she was Bellamy. It almost made her forget all the horrible things that were about to tear them apart forever...

But right now, she didn't want to think of any of that. She just wanted to keep dancing with Bellamy as if they were the last two people on earth. She wanted to savor every last touch and every last smile between them, knowing that she may never be able to share this with him again.

 

But Clarke was dragged out of her reverie the moment that Monty opened his mouth. "Good luck with that one Bellamy, since I'm pretty sure you two are engaged to other people. As a matter of fact- isn't that your _fiancee_ ' walking on stage right now Clarke?"

Clarke's eyes widened before she even saw what was happening, because she just knew something was about to go terribly wrong. Both Clarke and Bellamy spun around to see Finn standing on the stage near the front of the room, the Hawaiian band having halted their playing as every eye in the place now turned on Finn.

It was because he was holding a microphone, calling out Clarke's name.

"What the hell..?" Bellamy hissed viciously behind her. "What the _fuck_ does that idiot think he's doing?"

Finn tapped the microphone to test it, before calling her again. "Sorry to interrupt the party everyone!" His voice boomed across the hall. "But if I could have my fiancee' Clarke Griffin come join me on stage. Clarke honey?"

Her heart sank in her chest, and she felt a thousand eyes on her at once as she mindlessly began to walk forward, knowing she had no other choice. But as she started to move, Bellamy's hand caught her elbow, his eyes frantically searching hers in a silent, furious plea. "No." he growled. "Don't go to him Clarke. Please, just... _stay_."

She felt like she was on the verge of tears. She should have known Finn had a penchant for gloating about his accomplishments in public, and now she found herself wishing she had told Bellamy everything herself- instead of what she feared was about to happen. And as her hand slipped out of Bellamy's, she knew he would never want to touch her again. But she didn't wait for his disappointment to rip through her, she simply shook her head and whispered. "I have to go, I'm sorry." And then she left him standing alone, his hand dangling in the air where her arm had once been.

Clarke walked in a daze through the crowd of curious onlookers, ignoring the murmurs of speculation flaring up around her. Once she reached the stage, Finn smiled and helped her up the stairs, glowing with pride as he pulled her to stand beside him. He brought the microphone back to his mouth, and Clarke glanced at the Hawaiian musicians behind them as they gave her an encouraging thumbs up.

"Hey everyone-" He started. "I know most of you already know my fiancee' Clarke, from what I understand she's broken more than a few sales records since she's started here."

Clarke could feel herself flushing, wishing the damn Tiki torches would stop pummeling her with heat from either side of the stage. Not to mention that as she stood there, in front of the entire company, she quickly wished she had worn something more than just a bikini top..

"But not all of you know that I'm the man who's lucky enough to be marrying her..." He continued.

Clarke forced her eyes away from where she knew Bellamy would be standing somewhere in the crowd. But her eyes did drift to Roma not far away- and she was surprised to see a weary look on the brunette's face, and a subtle stiffening of her back as she tried to maintain composure. And somehow, seeing that tiny falter in she and Finn's facade, it threw her off completely.

"And since this is a party," Finn held up his glass in toast, completely oblivious to the nervous wreck beside him. "I thought I would add one more thing to the celebration."

 _Oh no.._. Clarke could feel herself panicking now, and her eyes fell to the floor.  Suddenly she wished she could shrink herself down and disappear completely, hide away from the sea of faces that were watching her.

Especially one face in particular..

 

Finn cleared his throat, adding to the suspense. "I just wanted to make the happy announcement that Clarke and I have just bought our first home together..."

 

Clarke squeezed her eyes shut. _No...no...no..._

 

"..and Clarke has agreed to officially book our wedding date in June!"

 

_No...._

 

She hadn't realized that she had whispered it out loud that time, but the tiny word was swallowed up in the roar of applause that erupted over the tropical party. Hundreds of people were clapping and whistling for the happy couple, and Finn curled his arm around Clarke's waist as he shouted his gratitude to the crowd. All the while Clarke's skin burned, the blood coursing through her veins and searing into her flesh as she finally forced herself to lock eyes with Bellamy across the room. And she wasn't prepared for what she saw.

Even in the dim light of the hall, Clarke could see the color draining from Bellamy's face, his once golden skin now a ghostly, pallid grey. His lips hung open in shock as he stood frozen, completely unmoving.

And then, between the deafening beats of her heart, Bellamy's pain shifted to coldness. His mouth slammed shut and his jaw clenched, the sharp features of his face hardening into a mask of stone. His black eyes tinged with fury as he stared at her- no, _glared_ at her- with the kind of calm hatred that made her heart go still in her chest.

Suddenly Clarke felt like she was dying. Every emotion erupted inside her, causing her soul to cave inward- like a building she had once watched that was imploded and collapsing to the ground.

She had expected the pain, she had expected the anger, but she hadn't expected _this_.This complete and utter shattering of her heart as she watched the devastation play across the face of the man she loved. And knowing that she had been the one to put it there...it sucked the life out of her.

It was in that very moment that Clarke realized she was in love with Bellamy. In a way that she had never allowed herself to love anyone before, in a way that had the power to totally destroy her if she would lose him.

It was the way her mother had loved her father. 

The revelation hit her like a ton of bricks, nearly knocking the wind out of her as she gripped her chest, reassuring herself that her heart was- in fact- still beating. Because the fear of loving someone too much that she had felt her entire life, was quickly replaced by the only fear that existed inside her now.

The fear of losing _him_.

But Clarke was distracted as the large hands of the Hawaiian drummer came down to slap her and Finn on the back, and it caused her eyes to fall away for a single second. But when Clarke turned back, it was already too late. Bellamy was already gone.

Her heart raced, and she knew that she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. And all that mattered now, was that she find Bellamy and somehow make this right.

 

The crowd had slowly gone back to minding their own business, no longer interested in the excitement playing out on the stage. And Finn had stepped away to high-five and take shots of rum with the band- so Clarke decided to take this moment as her chance to escape.

Her blue bikini top and loose blonde curls danced wildly around her shoulders as she sprinted off the stage and darted through the crowd, weaving her way through the throngs of familiar faces.

Once she stumbled into the hallway, panting, she desperately searched for any sign of Bellamy. She ran like crazy, ignoring the strange looks she was getting as she roamed every hallway and every room of that damn hotel banquet center- wishing it were just a little bit smaller.

Finally, just as Clarke was about to lose her last shred of hope, her blue eyes locked on a flash of dark curls moving past a doorway, and she felt the hope once again blooming in her chest. She sprang forward and bounded down the last vacant hallway, spilling out onto the deck of a hidden balcony that stood hanging over the river.

Her feet came to a stop on the deck's wooden planks, and amazingly, her eyes fell on Bellamy. He was resting on the railing, his back facing her as he gazed out into the night sky.

Clarke sucked in a deep breath, bracing herself. She would need a good deal of courage (not to mention nerve) to come crawling back to him now. As Clarke slowly took a step forward, like approaching a wounded animal, she glanced around the balcony. She could see why he had come here. This place was so still and peaceful, and it held a redemptive silence about it- aside from the sound of water rushing below them.

Her foot landed on a creaky board, and Bellamy's shoulders tensed as he turned to face her. Even in the dense shadow of the evening, a single hanging lamp illuminated the pain still lingering in Bellamy's expression.

"Clarke..?"

She stepped out of the darkness, nodding. "It's...it's me. Sorry if I scared you."

Bellamy's tired, bleary eyes narrowed on her as he scoffed. The rusty pitch in his voice returning in an instant. "Oh is _that_ what your sorry about Princess?" He turned back and leaned against the railing once more. "Go back to your husband. And your _house_. Just leave me be."

Clarke steeled herself against his words, and stepped closer still. "No, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here to tell you that I'm sorry, and that I..."

Then Bellamy spun around without warning, his jaw clenching, his nostrils flaring as his body seethed with fury. "I don't give a _damn_ how sorry you are! You have been playing me right from the beginning, Clarke! You're no better than Finn and Roma, you know that!?"

Clarke swallowed the pain that burned inside her. Maybe he was right, maybe she was no better than their cheating fiancee's after all.

"Please let me explain..." She begged, carefully moving towards him, only to have Bellamy step further back. "I was confused, and scared, and I didn't know what the hell you and I even _meant_ and...." _Oh god, she was making it worse, why couldn't she just tell him? Tell him she loved him?_

"You didn't know what we _meant_..!?" He spit the words at her like they tasted awful, and she could see every muscle in his naked torso rippling with tension in a way that was both terrifying and alluring at the same time.

He surprised her by taking a step closer now, his brow raising as he let out a dark, maniacal chuckle. "I thought I made it pretty clear to you what we "meant" when I was _fucking_ you, when I was _kissing_ you. When I....." He stopped, his voice suddenly cracking as his eyes traced her features. "When I told you I _loved_ you..."

Clarke stifled a gasp, she knew he loved her- on some level. But the way he said it now, it was almost like it paralleled the depth of her own feelings.

"Bellamy, all those things meant as much to me as they did to you!" She pleaded, trying to make him see.

" _Bullshit_. I don't believe you for a second..." Bellamy's menacing tone was seeping back in as he quickly closed the gap between them. The breath rushed out of Clarke's body when he stopped merely inches away from her, and all she could see were the freckles dotting his cheeks and the fire in his eyes as his lips curled up into a ruthless grin. "You have done _nothing_ but string me along and exhaust me. And you know what? I'm _done_. I'm not letting you fuck with my head anymore _Princess_. So you can go running back to Finn like you always do, and you don't have to worry about me anymore." He leaned in close enough that his deep voice vibrated through her very bones. "Because I never, _ever_ , want to see you again."

The finality in his tone, the way his words were laced with a brutal indifference- he may as well stabbed her with a jagged blade and turned the knife inside her. Ripping her insides out.

But just before he pulled away, there was a brief flicker of sorrow in Bellamy's gaze, his dark eyes lingering a moment too long on her face before he turned on his heel and stormed away, leaving Clarke alone to crumple into pieces on the ground.

\---------------------------

 

Clarke wasn't sure about the seconds or the minutes that rolled on as she lay there on the balcony floor, the dew from the previous day's rain still seeping into her pants and dampening the skin along her back. It was as if an eternity had moved on without her, while she remained still- frozen in her memories of a time before she had lost everything that she cared about.

But every time Bellamy's face flashed behind her eyes, pain gripped her stomach and all she could do was cry. She needed a gush of tears, a complete rainfall of sobs to relieve some of the anguish inside her- but instead all she got was the water brimming around her eyes before the numbness swooped in and washed over her.

And once it was there, she curled herself up in it. Swaddling her body and her heart in the warm, desensitizing folds of sweet detachment. It was the numbness that eventually dragged her to her feet, forcing the muscles in her legs to walk back down the hall and rejoin the impressive number of people that were still drinking and dancing to the music. Her dull, grey eyes swept over the crowd as she walked through, her eyes finally landing on Finn and Roma dancing together in the distance. The sight of them with their arms wrapped around each other and throwing their heads back in laughter didn't even phase her now.

If only she had felt this way from the beginning...

"Clarke!" Finn spotted her, his eyes lighting up as he and Roma broke apart and they both came jogging towards her. "What happened to you? You've been gone for nearly an hour! The party is half over and...wait...why are your pants all dirty and _wet_?"

Clarke just shrugged, letting her cold, unfeeling armor navigate her way from here on out. "I got a little sick outside, so I laid on the balcony out back for awhile. I guess it was a little wet."

Finn's brows furrowed as he looked over the muddy stains on Clarke's pants- something that would usually drive her insane. But now, didn't even seem to exist to her.

"Okay....." He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Are you feeling better? We don't need to go _home_ do we?" His words almost came out like a whine and Clarke fought the urge roll her eyes.

"No." She murmured quietly. "I'm fine." _Not like she'd be any less miserable at home anyways..._

Finn perked up, taking her by the hand. "Good! Let's grab some drinks then."

As Clarke was mindlessly dragged to the bar with them, Roma soon began craning her neck and peering around the room. "Wait...wasn't Bellamy with you?"

Clarke would have froze or even panicked if she had the ability to feel, but she only shook her head and met her gaze dead-on. "I thought I saw him leave earlier, but I never found him."

 _Good._ She thought _. She could do this. This was just going to be her life from now on, just numbness and lies. Hell, Finn and Roma had always been lying to them all long. She could just jump on the bandwagon and they could all live together in one perfect little circle of deceit._

Roma nodded slowly, looking confused. "Well where the heck could he have gone? He would have at least texted me...."

" _I said I don't know!"_  Clarke snapped, her banal tone suddenly stepping up a notch.

Roma pulled back, practically in shock. "Sorry...I was just worried about him. I didn't mean to sound like I was accusing you."

Clarke wanted to spit in her face- _sure Roma was worried about Bellamy. That's why she had been hanging all over Finn the entire night. Roma didn't give a shit about Bellamy. She never even deserved him in the first place...._

And then Clarke nearly bristled at her own thought, because who was she to talk? She had no room to blame Roma for hurting Bellamy, when she herself had hurt him a thousand times worse than Roma ever had.

"Don't worry about it. Let's just order, I really need a drink."

 

Two hours later, Finn and Clarke were sitting at a table with several other couples, while Roma wandered the hall searching for Bellamy.

Finn was still being his charming, genial self as usual. Quickly making friends with all of her co-workers and their dates, as Clarke just nodded absently and forced an unconvincing smile in his direction each time he glanced her way. _Had he always been this oblivious to what was going on with her?_  She wondered, realizing that was a stupid question. Because she already knew the answer.

It was easy keeping somebody at an arms length from your heart when they could look at you without ever truly _seeing_ you. She realized that was probably why Bellamy's deep, unsettling gazes had always thrown her off- even back when they first hated each other. Because even back then Bellamy could _see_ more about Clarke than Finn ever could.

But she forced his name from her mind, trying to divert her attention back to the people around her. But eventually it was useless, and she wasn't even trying anymore. She just kept sipping her wine and staring ahead in a barely-conscious daze, letting the faint burn of the wine slipping down her throat soothe her into a tranquilized state.

At some point Finn, who was clearly getting a little tipsy, took Clarke by the hand and pulled her onto the dance floor with some of her other co-workers. She let him rest his head on her shoulder as she loosely strung her arms around his back- thinking that maybe she could pretend that he was somebody else. And _maybe_ that's how she would get through this joke of a marriage, always lying to herself and pretending. Pretending Finn's eyes were as dark as his, and his hair was as curly as his, and his touch was as electrifying as his....

But Clarke blinked, suddenly yanking herself out of her coma. What the hell was she thinking? Finn wasn't any of those things, and he never would be.

He would never, ever be _Bellamy_.

But with that realization, Clarke was also willing away the exquisite numbness that had soaked though her, taking up house in the pit of her stomach to keep her floating on as painlessly as possible. But now, as the numbness drifted away and she finally accepted all that she had lost, she felt her legs beginning to quake violently beneath her. Clarke instantly pulled back and gripped at her chest, catching her heart racing under her palm.  

Finn's eyes narrowed on her, watching her with a strange curiosity as she slowly began to unravel. "Uhh...are you okay? You're not having one your _panic-attack things_ are you?"

But Clarke couldn't breathe, she could only nod as the room started to spin without her. She fought to stay on her feet, swallowing at the giant lump of terror that had formed in her throat. She started to back away, gasping out a broken " _Help_.."

And all anyone could do was stare- Finn gawking at her helplessly as several people whose faces were becoming blurry circled around, everyone witnessing their most envied salesperson falling to pieces.

Clarke closed her eyes, no longer having the strength to survive this as her entire world came crashing in on her. She was only seconds away from collapsing into a faint- when suddenly she felt a strong pair of hands clasping over her cheeks, and a warm pair of lips coming down to capture her mouth in a kiss.

And then the room stopped spinning and the world began to balance out. Everything around her went still as a deep voice whispered into her gasping lips- "It's okay Princess, it's okay. I'm here."

Her lids fluttered open, and she was met with Bellamy's dark, sultry eyes and valiant smile as he gazed back at her. She drew in an audible breath, her lungs finally able to function again as she stared in wonder at the man standing before her. Seeing Bellamy here, his handsome face and solid body blocking her from the prying eyes, it was like seeing a beautiful mirage in the midst of a vacant, hopeless dessert.

And despite the fact that Finn, Roma, and every other person at that party was now gawking at them, neither of them seemed to notice.

"Be....Bellamy..." She panted, her voice sounding smaller than she remembered. "You're really here?"

"In the flesh." His smirked softly, "Why? Not who you were expecting?"

Clarke sighed, the sound laced with the thralls of relief. "Don't you _ever_ leave me alone again Bellamy."

Bellamy brought his forehead to rest against hers, his strong arms circling around her waist as he held her together, making her feel whole. "God, I'm so sorry Clarke." He breathed against her cheek. "I didn't mean what I said back on the balcony, I was only thinking about my own pain- when I should have seen that you've been in pain all along. And I know that you've been afraid of letting me in, but I swear that I will spend the rest of my life convincing you that what we have is real, and it's worth it..." He paused to brush his thumb across her lips with a wink. "Even if it makes you hate me."

Clarke choked out a laugh as the happiness welled up inside of her, tears falling down her cheeks like rain. "We've always been pretty good at hating each other, haven't we?"

Bellamy only grinned, turning to whisper in her ear. "True...but I think we're a lot better at _loving_ each other, don't you agree?"

She nodded in amazement, reaching up to twine her fingers through his messy black curls. The genuine smile that stretched across Bellamy's face was the kind of smile that crinkled the corners of his eyes, and Clarke thought she could stare into their depths forever.

" _Well Princess_...." He leaned closer, his rusty voice coursing over her lips, "Then promise me _one_ last thing."

"Anything." She whispered.

Bellamy sucked in a deep breath, pulling back just enough to meet her gaze. "Don't marry him..." He pleaded, "Marry _me_ instead."

And in that moment, as Bellamy waited for her answer with baited breath, his dark eyes filling with hope, Clarke thought she might actually die from her own happiness.

Clarke suddenly burst forward, her arms flying around his neck and her mouth crashing into his. He hugged her close, spinning her in the air as the sound of Bellamy's joyous laughter echoed into her lips. "Should I take that as a _yes_ then?" He gasped, finally setting her down.

"Yes!" Clarke shouted between frenzied kisses. "Yes! Yes! Yes!"

And then Bellamy didn't waste time as his hands found the back of her neck, never breaking their kiss as he deepened his lips against hers.

 

But even though the lovers felt like they were tucked away in their very own world, the moment they heard somebody clearing their throat behind them- they realized that wasn't the case.

Bellamy and Clarke slowly untangled themselves from one another, turning to find two very shocked- and very _furious-_ fiancee's.

" _What_. _..the_....FUCK just happened here?!! _Clarke_!?" Finn's jaw nearly scraped the floor, his face turning a violent shade of red as he sputtered a string of belligerent curses.

Roma stood paralyzed beside him, her hand shaking as it came up to cup over her mouth, hiding her quivering lips. "I don't...I don't understand- How _could_ you Bellamy? And _Clarke?_ I thought we were _friends_...?"  Her voice was tiny, like an innocent mouse who'd just been trampled on. Clarke almost felt sorry for her.  _Almost._ _  
_

But no matter how much these two hypocrites deserved it- Both Bellamy and Clarke couldn't help but feel a twinge of guilt at seeing them in pain. But that same guilt was washed away moments later when their eyes found each other- blue meeting brown in a silent agreement that everything would okay. Bellamy's lips pulled up in a soft smile as he drew Clarke close again, completely unashamed.

_Besides- they'd put up with enough shit from these assholes already._

Finn shoved in front of Roma, his rabid gaze falling on Bellamy's arms as they wrapped around Clarke's waist. "Seriously!? At least have the fucking decency to stop _groping_ my fiancee' right in front of me!"

 _That did it._  Bellamy arched his brow in defiance, tightening his arms around Clarke as he looked Finn dead in the eye. "Actually...don't you mean _my_ fiancee'?"

Finn snapped, lunging forward. "I'm going to kill you bastard!"

But Clarke pushed between them, intercepting the two men as they chomped at the bit, ready to fight for  _her._

"STOP!!" Clarke bellowed, her voice immediately demanding the attention of the room. She shot Bellamy a stern glance as he nodded and fell back, conceding to her wishes- but still looking like he wanted to punch Finn in the face. Clarke sighed and finally turned to Finn and Roma. "Listen you two, let's all just cut the crap. Bellamy and I know all about your affair. We  _saw_ you two together and we know it's been going on right from the beginning."

Finn and Roma both froze, their eyes going wide like a couple of deer caught in headlights. They exchanged nervous looks, and the words " _Oh shit_ " were practically stamped across their foreheads.

Roma moved closer, her dainty face all scrunched and ugly with guilt as her shoulders heaved with sobs. "I'm so sorry Bellamy, I should have told you..."

Bellamy held up his hand to stop her, shaking his head. "Don't be Roma, what's done is done. And honestly, I'm not even mad anymore."

Roma only nodded, dropping her gaze in shame. But Finn wasn't giving up so easily- He strode towards Clarke frantically, holding his palms up in a plea. But Bellamy's dark eyes sent him a warning that kept him from getting too close to her.

"Please Honey _..."_ he begged _. "_ Roma and I have been selfish, I know, but this fling with she and I is meaningless. I'm so sorry I lied to you Clarke, but that doesn't mean I don't love you. _You're_ the only girl I want to marry.  Besides, Roma and I both promised that we'd stop once we actually had the wedding."

Bellamy let out a low growl, his muscles twitching under the light of the tiki torches as he held himself back, seeing the storm brewing on Clarke's face.

Clarke narrowed her eyes and tilted her chin, strolling right up to Finn with a devious smile on her lips. "Finn.. _sweetheart_ , I have something for you." Clarke reached down and painfully ripped the engagement ring off her finger, prying open Finn's hand and shoving it back into his palm. "I believe this belongs to _Roma_. And maybe she should be moving in that house with you too. After all- you two clearly  _deserve_ each other." She spun on her heel, leaving her mortified ex-fiancee' in the dust as her new fiancee' beamed with pride.

Bellamy gave Clarke a high-five before sweeping her up in his arms, bending down to kiss her. But at the last second, he paused to call over his shoulder-

"Hey Finn!" His deep voice vibrated through the hall, catching Finn's attention as he was sulking his way into the corner.

"I really should be thanking you," Bellamy shouted. "I mean in all honesty, if it weren't for you guys being so awful, Clarke and I may never have fallen so _madly_ in love."

Finn scoffed and rolled his eyes, stomping away with Roma in tow. When Bellamy finally turned back to Clarke, his freckled face eased into a crooked grin as he raised his brow. "Get over here, _Princess_." He suddenly scooped her up and hitched her legs around his waist, Clarke shrieking in surprise as he hoisted her into the air.

Her face came level with his, and she stared back at Bellamy with giant, blue eyes. "Do you think that might actually be true? Do you think _they_ were reason we fell in love?"

Bellamy slowly brushed his thumb along her jawline, hovering his lips over hers. "Actually, only _half_ -true." He whispered.  "I was in love with you the very moment I met you Clarke. _You_ were the one that needed convincing."

And then he pressed his lips against hers, swallowing her gasp in his kiss.

 

They stayed like that, thoroughly making-out in the middle of the dance floor as a circle of co-workers shamelessly erupted into applause. And somewhere in the distance, a particularly drunk Jasper slurred out a hearty, " _Get it girl_."

 

\----------------------------------------------

 

Two years later, Clarke sat in her cubicle at Terracon Technologies, doing some much needed spring cleaning as she sorted through old papers in her desk. Her eyes widened as she stumbled upon an old photograph that once hung on her wall, and she furrowed her brows, suddenly grabbing her scissors. She cut out the two people from the middle and pushed the ends together, smiling. The two halves fit so perfectly, that one could have guessed that it had always just been Bellamy and Clarke from the very beginning...

Months after that night at the party, Finn and Roma had eventually sent them a long, drawn out letter that was sent to Bellamy and Clarke's apartment. The letter had explained that Finn and Roma had actually dated in college, but were always unable to have any type of _real_ relationship without wanting to kill each other. So they always stayed friends to remain in each other's lives, but the attraction never quite went away throughout the years. They had cheated with each other during _every one_ of their relationships.

So it wasn't an honorable or even satisfying explanation, but Bellamy and Clarke honestly didn't even care anymore- because it had been worth going through on every level, since it ultimately led them to each other. 

But last Bellamy and Clarke heard, Finn and Roma were finally together again- having left one too many relationships in their wake.

Clarke sighed at the memories and walked her way slowly to her cubicle's picture wall, which now housed a collage of at least a hundred different photos of just she and Bellamy. She took a thumbtack and pinned her newly glued Frankenstein-esque photo where it had originally been on the wall. Except now it sat proudly next to Bellamy and Clarke's Wedding Photo of them kissing in an abandoned old church that Clarke had once sketched- her hand on Bellamy's cheek showcasing her Princess cut diamond.

Clarke couldn't help but smile as she thought about how funny life was, and how things could one day fall so easily into place at a time you'd least expect. Or with the _person_ you'd least expect.

 

Suddenly she heard the faint sound of somebody sneaking up behind her, and seconds later Bellamy was slipping his arms around Clarke from behind, leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

"Well hello _Princess_ , and how are my favorite girls doing?" He grinned, reaching down to gently rub his hand over Clarke's steadily growing tummy. "You ready to leave and grab some dinner? I was thinking Thai."

"Again!?" Clarke rolled her eyes, turning in his arms to face him.

But Bellamy just gazed at her, a sly smirk creeping over his lips. "Okay _fine_ , let's just let Emily choose this time, shall we?" Bellamy laid his palm on Clarke's stomach and rubbed it like a giant magic-eight ball. "Emily, _sweetie_...should we be eating Thai tonight?" He waited, his dark eyes suddenly growing wide with excitement as they both felt the baby kick. "Did you feel that!? Emily has spoken. Thai it is."

Clarke raised her brow at her ridiculous husband, shaking her head with a laugh. "Very cute, you two. You're both lucky I like Thai."

Bellamy drew her closer, tilting her chin up with his fingers and whispering into her lips. "Don't listen to her Emily, your Mommy's just grumpy because your Daddy beat her sales figures _again_ this month.."

And then before Clarke could shove him away, Bellamy leaned down and captured her lips with his.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks!! Be on the lookout for my future stories ;)


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